June 17, 2009
this morning i made the time to sit on the back step, and sip my cup of coffee. no interuptions.. i noticed the way the sun rising relfected off of the clouds in the south. It was sure beautiful. I wonder how many times I just did not notice this? I wonder how many sights such as this, that I just missed? And then I wonder what else am I missing? maybe I just wonder too much. lol.
I have been single for 6 years now. Im getting older. I am sure this is something someone reading this might identify with. Its a phase of my life I did not intend to enter alone. But I guess I will be alone..and I cannot afford to make more plans for "if" or "when" she comes to be with me in my life... Sound familar? So I will try hard to adjust to the thought and mindset of living my life alone, and being content with it. I do not think I will ever be happy wiht it. But content doesnt sound all so bad at this point.
So. step one... focus on the blessings. on the things that bring me peace and joy. sparky...baby calves....sunsets...coffee on the back step..instead of the problems in front of me which seem neverending. step two: get busier... its summertime. get out side. enjoy th eblue sky. Winter will come soon enough. and lastly... talk to God alot. Somehow acknowledging that He knows what im doing and where Im at helps me to do it more contentedly. (is that a word?)
Ive made my pleas. ive made my requests. Now I will look at my place in life, and be proud of who and what Ive stood for, and continue on. but without the expectation of a mate. aww who needs a mate anyway right? zone bars are tasting pretty good. shed probably wanna drive my tractor anyway.... and id have to share my toys.
so off.... to the next phase of life.... with a new mindset.
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