mid winter blues

Jan 24, 2009

Mid Winter Blues

Current mood:melancholy

The day is sunny, and the sky is blue. The wind seems constant, and its very cold. Its one of those look warm, but freeze days. Some days this old house seems much emptier then it used to. Its these kinds of days that make me stop, and wonder. I and hate that, cuz wondering leads to thinking... and that seems to make my head hurt. Then first thing ya know, theres this burning smell, and smoke. Then ya hear those sirens. and firetrucks, but its only me... being "thoughtful".
Its very dry in oklahoma. the 3rd driest year since 1929. I look around, and wonder why rain has not come yet. I see the 4 new calves ...they run and play.Isee the deer, and wild turkey crossing my place. I see the beautiful sunsets. I feel peace, but also disconnected. Sometimes I think I will just be alone forever, but I feel as though there is supposed to be someone else here. Its just a feeling. If I think about it too much, therell be firetrucks.
then I remember, it is just that time of year. mid winter. cold. barren. thats when it seems the hardest. It makes a man wonder about his life, and what he has stood for, and where or how long, he has yet to go. About the few friends, if he has any at all....he has. I saw my daughters 6 days ago. They are very busy. I get a text message now and then. Im proud of them.
I better put some bluegrass music on.... I hear sirens again.