Good morning. its cold, overcast, gray, and did I say cold? this is mid winter here in Oklahoma, and the good part is...the roads are clear this am! I even drove the car today. no 4wd needed.
Ive had a decent 24 hours ....and im getting more used to "home life". Its been quieter...since the new step daughter is staying over at her bfs house.
Last night...at the handy dandy walmart.... which seems to be a home away from home away from home....(I own 2 homes now...wow)... I was introduced to someone..."this is my husband".... the little man inside my mind screamed...WHAT?? who?? oh... me. ME??? shit. SHIT!!!!
that's right. Im a husband. get used to it. How long did it take you to get used to chocolate? basketball? shaving? ok ok so your married now... it was only 13 years single. my my what a whiner you've become. This is what you wanted. I know I know. But.... wow. Ok I can do this. I figured... in a month or so...we will adjust right? NOT. a friend of hers told me....not to worry. Itll take about a year, then everything will be great. what?? a YEAR?? Ive had more than my share of "freak out" times the last few weeks. In case your wondering, a "freak out" time is a time when you short out for about 5 minutes...and well.... freak out. I usually am allotted a few freakout times per year. But Ive used the next 5 years worth up in a month. *deep breath*. I can do this.
so..its easier right? I mean...I thought about this a lot before marriage... youd have a partner. Things would be done twice as easy twice as fast. right? 2 people doing the work. dishes... trash... cleaning... vacuuming. etc.. makes sense. Then at least one of you can be free to do something else. So why is it that Im busier now than Ive ever been before? Im working non stop... I actually sleep all night long every night now. o
the first cup of coffee is gone...and someone stole my under the desk heater...im missing that. Maybe Ill bring my OWN little heater, and take it home with me each day.
Ive been thinking a lot about change. ...and the thing is...if your not careful, you will start to be insecure. imagine that...me. tough me.... insecure. ha ha. ok. seriously... you will start to doubt. I was reading about how to avoid this...and the writer said... Thank God for all that you have..(the things you acquired whatever that was...that contributed to t he present state of things...that caused the doubt.. which turns to fear, which turns to insecurity)... and then TRUST Him. NOT your spouse. not in your self. Trust HIM... that he knows whats going on... (remember that bird on the ground, hair in the drain thing)... and He will handle it. Just trust that itll be ok, and go on. Easy concept. kinda hard to actually put into practice.
Anyway...ill quit my whining. Hey its my blog right? er....my whine session. ok my legs are cold, and I need another cup of coffee. When they take the coffee away...im applying for disability. Maybe Obama will give me that... cnat work due to lack of leg heaters, and no coffee. impossible. Give me $1500 monthly with food stamps. I wonder if the social worker will agree? hmm.
Soon itll be Vday. I think I have it covered. I think. This will be my first Vday as a "husband"..I have daughters, step daughter, and even a step daughter in law taken care of. Roses for the wife.
good l uck to me. ill be back later today if I can find time to sit and think.
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