today is a nice day I think... its about 56 deg, and a high of 75. at the moment its thundering and a light shower. which is unusual for Oklahoma. Its usually either spew forth hell and brimstone tornadic weather, or its drought... but this is a gentle rain with not much wind. Wont see the log chain that's tied to the gate post blowing in the wind this morning. not yet.
My morning was interrupted by an invitation to breakfast... I didn't eat since Ive gained 8 pounds. Im feeling for the development of a blow hole on my back, but since im too fat to feel all the way around.. I cant say ones not there yet. I have not however, blown out any backs of my shirts from and outward pressure...my pants maybe.
So I drank 4 cups of coffee...add that to the one I had driving to work, and presto...Ive peed 6 times since. and not little bits...but coffee can amounts. coffee just pours through me. Maybe Ive found a new way to lose weight... it has to weigh something. Ill let ya know. good thing no one reads this crap, they might be grossed out.
things are slow at work, ive stopped only one person...just a warning. wasn't going fast enough for a ticket. besides she was cute. lol. So I ate lunch, Ill spare you the details..
Im still scheming on pouring some concrete.. I want that garage/shop. things are well at home.. im excited due to a certain situation changing... wife has been very loving and kind... im genuinely surprised.
the cows are good. familys good... barn roof patched. that kid s coming in good for something. Id write more but I think I have to freakin pee again. what will it be like to be old? lets not even think of it. off to catch a traffic offense. what an exciting life! yay me!
Monday, March 31, 2014
Friday, March 28, 2014
Perspectives with feelings are like sucker fishys
goodmorning invisible world. Since the world is invisible from here, theres no use in correcting my words and typing here right? Funny how perspective changes everything. from my keyboard, the world out there is invisible because my stats tell me no one is looking. There fore.... it s invisible.
I was thinking... I do that sometimes... that with different perspectives come different feelings. For example... if you feel things... when you see or hear something familiar, like say...a voice that uses a certain tone... and it reminds you of a bad time in your past...because you've heard that tone before... and then poof, you have feelings... that come ... feelings that you have to deal with. I see this as a perspective... this is how you see (or in this case heard) it... and since you see it this way... you feel a certain way. I see "feelings" like those little sucker fishes that attach themselves to a BIG fish... they just come with it... big fish comes... they come too. SO.... IF you could change your perspective.. you could have different feelings! In other words, you could change your feelings and not have to deal with those yucky feelings that take up so much of your time.... Instead of dealing with feelings so much every time you see or hear something.... change your perspective ONE time... for good... and poof. IF anyone is reading this... and wants to know how to do this...or know more of it...than maybe you will make a comment, and the world will cease to be invisible for me here at my keyboard. My perspective will change...and thus.... I will feel different about blogging.
The sun is up in my little town where I work. I have made one stop before the sun came up... I just wanted to see the pretty police lights come on in the dark. ha. Things are better today...not as good as they were, but better.
It is going to about sunny and about 60 deg today. I gambled and wore long sleeves. I heard the rooster this morning, and it reminded me of "home". With that, came feelings... I miss certain things. (theres that perspective thing again). So Ill have to remember that although I like the sound of a rooster, I hated living alone alone alone in the remote country. Once I change that... ill smile each time I hear the rooster... and I wont miss the country... because I will instantly remember what it was like ....isolated, lonely, empty, pointless, and a waste of my life. (if I could ve shared it now..with someone...that would have been different, but for some reason God did not have that planned for me.)
Well, I better run. I know morning traffic is speeding. I can feel it. lol. later all yall invisible peeps!
I was thinking... I do that sometimes... that with different perspectives come different feelings. For example... if you feel things... when you see or hear something familiar, like say...a voice that uses a certain tone... and it reminds you of a bad time in your past...because you've heard that tone before... and then poof, you have feelings... that come ... feelings that you have to deal with. I see this as a perspective... this is how you see (or in this case heard) it... and since you see it this way... you feel a certain way. I see "feelings" like those little sucker fishes that attach themselves to a BIG fish... they just come with it... big fish comes... they come too. SO.... IF you could change your perspective.. you could have different feelings! In other words, you could change your feelings and not have to deal with those yucky feelings that take up so much of your time.... Instead of dealing with feelings so much every time you see or hear something.... change your perspective ONE time... for good... and poof. IF anyone is reading this... and wants to know how to do this...or know more of it...than maybe you will make a comment, and the world will cease to be invisible for me here at my keyboard. My perspective will change...and thus.... I will feel different about blogging.
The sun is up in my little town where I work. I have made one stop before the sun came up... I just wanted to see the pretty police lights come on in the dark. ha. Things are better today...not as good as they were, but better.
It is going to about sunny and about 60 deg today. I gambled and wore long sleeves. I heard the rooster this morning, and it reminded me of "home". With that, came feelings... I miss certain things. (theres that perspective thing again). So Ill have to remember that although I like the sound of a rooster, I hated living alone alone alone in the remote country. Once I change that... ill smile each time I hear the rooster... and I wont miss the country... because I will instantly remember what it was like ....isolated, lonely, empty, pointless, and a waste of my life. (if I could ve shared it now..with someone...that would have been different, but for some reason God did not have that planned for me.)
Well, I better run. I know morning traffic is speeding. I can feel it. lol. later all yall invisible peeps!
Monday, March 24, 2014
ugh again.
I am not quite sure what to say this morning. This was not a good weekend. My words will not be very uplifting, so they will be few and to the point today.
I pray for wisdom and patience. I hope for the best. If I am wrong, I just have to say I am wrong. It is better to say it sooner than later... for ones pride will cause a problem. Pride goes before a fall.
The weather here is is clear and 34 deg. It will get up to about 62 deg today. It is a Monday... and it promises to be a long boring one. Today I will finish up the application for new jobs. Im going to try a few doors and see if they open.
that is about all I have to say today. I pray God works. There are times God needs to be GOD. Start with me...im open.
I pray for wisdom and patience. I hope for the best. If I am wrong, I just have to say I am wrong. It is better to say it sooner than later... for ones pride will cause a problem. Pride goes before a fall.
The weather here is is clear and 34 deg. It will get up to about 62 deg today. It is a Monday... and it promises to be a long boring one. Today I will finish up the application for new jobs. Im going to try a few doors and see if they open.
that is about all I have to say today. I pray God works. There are times God needs to be GOD. Start with me...im open.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
hurry hurry ....id rather be a good dog.
its another windy windy day in Oklahoma. SE Oklahoma is an ever changing place. its one of the fascinating parts of living here. y ou really never can tell w hat the weather is going to be. Yesterday finally picked up, and I made a few stops. It was nice to have the boredom broken up... I helped an old man that ran out of gas right in the middle of the state highway in an intersection. Boy was he backing up traffic. we pushed the truck out to the shoulder... and I gave him a ride back to his other truck where he could go get some gas. He said...boy you guys are sure nice...yesterday I locked myself out of my truck and that other officer got it unlocked for me. lol. He did not have a good couple of days. maybe today will be a better day for him.
It was a nice evening last night... But I notice I am not getting a lot done due to a lack of energy after I get home. working 10 days may interfere with my lawn care this summer when the grass gets to going. I have already noticed that there is grass growing around the pool area so I need to get on that this weekend.
today is 39 degrees...with a high of about 65. I wore long sleeves... I hope that wasn't a mistake. Life is good but very busy. That is a good thing. Im learning to live with all the clutter and stuff stacked up and around. Im hoping that after a couple of weddings are over....ha.... that we can really start to organize and clean up. Im really hoping to get that garage built.... hoping......
Goals are like that...your not happy until you achieve them, and then once you do... you just cant help yourself...you just have to set another one. lol. humans are the most unsatisfied creatures ever. Id rather be a dog with a good home....and just lounge around and play and be happy. woof woof.
so anyway...that's about all I have to say today... Heres to good happy dogs. Miss ya Sparky!
It was a nice evening last night... But I notice I am not getting a lot done due to a lack of energy after I get home. working 10 days may interfere with my lawn care this summer when the grass gets to going. I have already noticed that there is grass growing around the pool area so I need to get on that this weekend.
today is 39 degrees...with a high of about 65. I wore long sleeves... I hope that wasn't a mistake. Life is good but very busy. That is a good thing. Im learning to live with all the clutter and stuff stacked up and around. Im hoping that after a couple of weddings are over....ha.... that we can really start to organize and clean up. Im really hoping to get that garage built.... hoping......
Goals are like that...your not happy until you achieve them, and then once you do... you just cant help yourself...you just have to set another one. lol. humans are the most unsatisfied creatures ever. Id rather be a dog with a good home....and just lounge around and play and be happy. woof woof.
so anyway...that's about all I have to say today... Heres to good happy dogs. Miss ya Sparky!
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
MEMORIES OF COUNTRY LIVING.
GOOD MORNING UNKNOWN PEEPS. IM NOT YELLING,, I JUST CANT F IGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE THE FONTS BIGGER ON THIS SILLY THING. SO CAPPS IT IS.
I MISSED A GOOD SUNSET LAST NIGHT... I KNOW AT THE RANCH, I NEVER MISSED ONE... THEY WERE SO GOOD THERE. NOW I LIVE AT A PLACE WHERE YOU CANT SEE A GOOD SUNSET. I THINK THATS WHAT I MISS THE MOST. BUT I DO NOT MISS THE LONELY TIMES... TAKING WALKS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT....BY MOONLIGHT.. TALKING WITH GOD...ABOUT WHAT I AM DOING THERE YEAR AFTER YEAR ALONE. IT WAS MY TIME IN THE "WILDERNESS"...
I NOW QUESTION WHAT I AM DOING FOR A LIVING. I LIKE THE JOB OK I MEAN... BUT THE HOURS ARE MANY. I GET UP AT 5 AM... ITS HARD. BUT HEY THEY ARE DAY TIME HOURS. IM OFF AT 5... WEEKENDS OFF. MAYBE I SHOULDNT BE TOO DISCONTENT. STILL I AM PRAYERFUL ABOUT THIS. I KNOW GOD IS A JUST GOD. I KNOW HE WILL TAKE CARE OF WHAT NEEDS TAKING CARE OF... I KNOW HE WILL TAKE CARE OF ME. I AM THANKFUL. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THANKFUL.
I HEAR A ROOSTER CROW EACH MORNING..IN THE NIGHT HOURS. AT MY NEW HOME.. IT REMINDS ME OF THE COUNTRY LIVING I CAME FROM. IT MAKES ME SMILE. I HOPE THAT OLD ROOSTER LASTS FOREVER. I NEED TO T HINK ABOUT GETTING A BULL NOW... BUT I AM DELAYED FINANCIALLY... AS KT IS RACKING UP A FEW WEDDING BILLS. ITS OK... ILL GET THERE EVENTUALLY.
SO CROW ROOSTER CROW.... SCREAM YOUR HEAD OFF ELVIS. I USED TO HAVE A ROOSTER NAMED ELVIS. HE WAS PRETTY AND BLACK..AND WELL GROOMED. HE STOOD ON THE BACK PORCH AND "SANG" TO ME.I WAS USED TO HIM..BUT THE FEW VISITORS I HAD WERE NOT. HA. THEY LEFT. BUT ELVIS LEFT THE BUILDING A LONG TIME AGO. SO SING ON ROOSTER... BRING ME MEMORIES OF THE COUNTRY TIMES NOW PAST.
SO LEAD ME LORD, OPEN A DOOR... IF YOU WANT ME TO GO THRU IT... SHOW IT TO ME SO I CAN JIGGLE THE KNOB..SEE IF IT MOVES. ILL DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT .. IM OPEN TO IT. HECK LOOK AT ME NOW. NOW LETS MAKE SOME COFFEE, AND MEDITATE IN YOUR LIGHT. NOTHING IS BETTER THAN THAT..ONCE YOU LEARN TO DO IT. IT BRING SUCH PEACE, NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE. ITS A SECRET OF THE ...NINJA SORTA... KNOWLEDGE LIKE THAT MEANS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOING INSANE, AND BREEZING THROUGH HARD TIMES. ITS WHAT MAKES AN OAK ...AN OAK TREE....IT HANGS ON. WEATHERS THINGS OUT. REMAINS SOLID. NO PROBLEM. SO YOU CAN CALL ME CAPT SUNDANCE. HA.
SO CAPT SUNDANCE NEEDS CAFFIENE... IF THERE IS ANYONE OUT THERE STILL ALIVE THAT READS T HIS MESS I WRITE, PLEASE PRAY. I KNOW IM DOING WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO FOR NOW...BUT NOT FOREVER. IM LOOKING FOR CHANGES. FOR A DOOR. SHOW ME THE DOOR LORD! NOW LETS HAVE COFFEE, FB TIME, AND GO WRITE A FEW TICKETS.
I MISSED A GOOD SUNSET LAST NIGHT... I KNOW AT THE RANCH, I NEVER MISSED ONE... THEY WERE SO GOOD THERE. NOW I LIVE AT A PLACE WHERE YOU CANT SEE A GOOD SUNSET. I THINK THATS WHAT I MISS THE MOST. BUT I DO NOT MISS THE LONELY TIMES... TAKING WALKS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT....BY MOONLIGHT.. TALKING WITH GOD...ABOUT WHAT I AM DOING THERE YEAR AFTER YEAR ALONE. IT WAS MY TIME IN THE "WILDERNESS"...
I NOW QUESTION WHAT I AM DOING FOR A LIVING. I LIKE THE JOB OK I MEAN... BUT THE HOURS ARE MANY. I GET UP AT 5 AM... ITS HARD. BUT HEY THEY ARE DAY TIME HOURS. IM OFF AT 5... WEEKENDS OFF. MAYBE I SHOULDNT BE TOO DISCONTENT. STILL I AM PRAYERFUL ABOUT THIS. I KNOW GOD IS A JUST GOD. I KNOW HE WILL TAKE CARE OF WHAT NEEDS TAKING CARE OF... I KNOW HE WILL TAKE CARE OF ME. I AM THANKFUL. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THANKFUL.
I HEAR A ROOSTER CROW EACH MORNING..IN THE NIGHT HOURS. AT MY NEW HOME.. IT REMINDS ME OF THE COUNTRY LIVING I CAME FROM. IT MAKES ME SMILE. I HOPE THAT OLD ROOSTER LASTS FOREVER. I NEED TO T HINK ABOUT GETTING A BULL NOW... BUT I AM DELAYED FINANCIALLY... AS KT IS RACKING UP A FEW WEDDING BILLS. ITS OK... ILL GET THERE EVENTUALLY.
SO CROW ROOSTER CROW.... SCREAM YOUR HEAD OFF ELVIS. I USED TO HAVE A ROOSTER NAMED ELVIS. HE WAS PRETTY AND BLACK..AND WELL GROOMED. HE STOOD ON THE BACK PORCH AND "SANG" TO ME.I WAS USED TO HIM..BUT THE FEW VISITORS I HAD WERE NOT. HA. THEY LEFT. BUT ELVIS LEFT THE BUILDING A LONG TIME AGO. SO SING ON ROOSTER... BRING ME MEMORIES OF THE COUNTRY TIMES NOW PAST.
SO LEAD ME LORD, OPEN A DOOR... IF YOU WANT ME TO GO THRU IT... SHOW IT TO ME SO I CAN JIGGLE THE KNOB..SEE IF IT MOVES. ILL DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT .. IM OPEN TO IT. HECK LOOK AT ME NOW. NOW LETS MAKE SOME COFFEE, AND MEDITATE IN YOUR LIGHT. NOTHING IS BETTER THAN THAT..ONCE YOU LEARN TO DO IT. IT BRING SUCH PEACE, NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE. ITS A SECRET OF THE ...NINJA SORTA... KNOWLEDGE LIKE THAT MEANS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOING INSANE, AND BREEZING THROUGH HARD TIMES. ITS WHAT MAKES AN OAK ...AN OAK TREE....IT HANGS ON. WEATHERS THINGS OUT. REMAINS SOLID. NO PROBLEM. SO YOU CAN CALL ME CAPT SUNDANCE. HA.
SO CAPT SUNDANCE NEEDS CAFFIENE... IF THERE IS ANYONE OUT THERE STILL ALIVE THAT READS T HIS MESS I WRITE, PLEASE PRAY. I KNOW IM DOING WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO FOR NOW...BUT NOT FOREVER. IM LOOKING FOR CHANGES. FOR A DOOR. SHOW ME THE DOOR LORD! NOW LETS HAVE COFFEE, FB TIME, AND GO WRITE A FEW TICKETS.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Each heartbeat....with change.
well...things are getting back to norman... I mean normal. But I think I like norman better. this weekend was good... things were warm and loving ... and it was a nice time. It is cold..29 deg when I got to the car. But Im in short sleeves..and getting used to the cold now. its that time of year when its 80 in the day...and 29 in the mornings. I did not go to the farm now...this weekend for the 2nd week in a row now. I have to loosen up a bit there... and trust kt to keep things in order there.
Its getting closer to the time when I will be working on the yard..the pool, etc... I have projects left over from last year to finish. that wall of stone... I must finish before its too hot.
so it is a good time again... If I just wait things out... the times of life will change. for good or for worse. for better or for poor. and all that happily ever after crap. I have been singing in the choir.. its a big church..and I am poorly qualified to sing amidst the talent I am surrounded by there. But I fill a chair and look the part anyway. The last time I was in the choir, I was so young, I peed my pants while singing. Hey its a lot of pressure for a little kid to leave the choir during church to go pee. sooo.. But I promise I wont do that again. Now if I can only remember to zip. Pam has a wonderful voice. I sure like to stand next to her in church and hear her sing. So its a good time in my life. I remember the last post... not so good. If I can just remember when things are not so good... in fact BAD.. that things do change. Each heartbeat can bring a bit of change with it. Sometimes its just hard to see around the corner... and have that kind of hope. Sometimes the corners are years...and sometimes just 5 minutes. But still ...w/o hope, it is a dark dismal place to be. funny how little hope it takes. all you need is a bit of it. it sure goes a long way with the human spirit. That's the thing that the devil must attack.... that sense of hope. People can sure believe a lot for a long time, with just alittle hope. hope...maybe produces faith. Im not sure..what do you think? I never thought about that much. maybe faith produces hope... either way... you must have both...and both go so very far.
Soon the flowers will bloom and the grass will be green, and the tornadoes will come again. I have no storm shelter at this place. ugh. I have plans..but its money. I suppose God will provide when He chooses to. I plan to pour concrete...and build a garage. I think Ill ask God to make this happen for me. Change is coming... but it seems it always does. Someday..ill live for thousands of years..w/o change. and life will be perfect. perfect harmony, perfect peace, perfect order, and everything in its rightful place. I for one will love it. crap...there is no Kleenex in this place. see what I mean? At least I have chocolate here.!
So whatever the world brings..and it is just full of bringing something all the time.. Ill let the world be the world... Ill spice it up as I can, with alittle bit of Jesus in it... and try not to growl to much... and be "mr. grumpy pants" as I was once called.... and continue doing what I can with what I have... until such time as I can leave this world, and go to my perfect order place. Let us not fret and worry, but neither let us ignore what goes on here either. Someday Ill lost my right to worship..and to free speech... someday America may fall. I hope I do not see that day. But things I know will get worse before they are better. I hope my children do not see that day either. But life will be what it is. I trust my God, and they must also trust Him.
So for now... let us rejoice! Let us smile, let us be thankful always in all things. good and bad. Let His presence in our lives overshadow all chaos. Maybe we can even find alittle bit of humor in it along the way. Life is good.... today. this heartbeat. lol. don't sneeze!!
Its getting closer to the time when I will be working on the yard..the pool, etc... I have projects left over from last year to finish. that wall of stone... I must finish before its too hot.
so it is a good time again... If I just wait things out... the times of life will change. for good or for worse. for better or for poor. and all that happily ever after crap. I have been singing in the choir.. its a big church..and I am poorly qualified to sing amidst the talent I am surrounded by there. But I fill a chair and look the part anyway. The last time I was in the choir, I was so young, I peed my pants while singing. Hey its a lot of pressure for a little kid to leave the choir during church to go pee. sooo.. But I promise I wont do that again. Now if I can only remember to zip. Pam has a wonderful voice. I sure like to stand next to her in church and hear her sing. So its a good time in my life. I remember the last post... not so good. If I can just remember when things are not so good... in fact BAD.. that things do change. Each heartbeat can bring a bit of change with it. Sometimes its just hard to see around the corner... and have that kind of hope. Sometimes the corners are years...and sometimes just 5 minutes. But still ...w/o hope, it is a dark dismal place to be. funny how little hope it takes. all you need is a bit of it. it sure goes a long way with the human spirit. That's the thing that the devil must attack.... that sense of hope. People can sure believe a lot for a long time, with just alittle hope. hope...maybe produces faith. Im not sure..what do you think? I never thought about that much. maybe faith produces hope... either way... you must have both...and both go so very far.
Soon the flowers will bloom and the grass will be green, and the tornadoes will come again. I have no storm shelter at this place. ugh. I have plans..but its money. I suppose God will provide when He chooses to. I plan to pour concrete...and build a garage. I think Ill ask God to make this happen for me. Change is coming... but it seems it always does. Someday..ill live for thousands of years..w/o change. and life will be perfect. perfect harmony, perfect peace, perfect order, and everything in its rightful place. I for one will love it. crap...there is no Kleenex in this place. see what I mean? At least I have chocolate here.!
So whatever the world brings..and it is just full of bringing something all the time.. Ill let the world be the world... Ill spice it up as I can, with alittle bit of Jesus in it... and try not to growl to much... and be "mr. grumpy pants" as I was once called.... and continue doing what I can with what I have... until such time as I can leave this world, and go to my perfect order place. Let us not fret and worry, but neither let us ignore what goes on here either. Someday Ill lost my right to worship..and to free speech... someday America may fall. I hope I do not see that day. But things I know will get worse before they are better. I hope my children do not see that day either. But life will be what it is. I trust my God, and they must also trust Him.
So for now... let us rejoice! Let us smile, let us be thankful always in all things. good and bad. Let His presence in our lives overshadow all chaos. Maybe we can even find alittle bit of humor in it along the way. Life is good.... today. this heartbeat. lol. don't sneeze!!
Monday, March 10, 2014
the hardest weekend
Well ... its Monday. This has been the hardest weekend ever. Problems since last Thursday. It was the worst time of my life. So... t his is a hard weekend. I am not quite sure what to say this morning. The time change occurred .. so its like 5 am instead of 6 am... but I supposed Ill get used to it. I smoked my pipe yesterday...first time in 8 months. It wasn't all that good.
My prayer is for intervention. I think nothing less than God Himself intervening in our lives will save the situation that He led us into. I know that He has never let me down...and I expect nothing less than that this time either. I don't call him "Savior" for nothing.
I am not sure what else to write. Jack is doing well at kcs. We celebrated her bday...we ate at polos. Kt seems to be doing well. I didn't hear from her t his weekend... and did not go out to the farm.
Sometimes ...like now... I feel just like my old tree. It didn't make it ...
My prayer is for intervention. I think nothing less than God Himself intervening in our lives will save the situation that He led us into. I know that He has never let me down...and I expect nothing less than that this time either. I don't call him "Savior" for nothing.
I am not sure what else to write. Jack is doing well at kcs. We celebrated her bday...we ate at polos. Kt seems to be doing well. I didn't hear from her t his weekend... and did not go out to the farm.
Friday, March 7, 2014
ugh.
Today should be...by all rights...a good day. its Friday. its going to be good weather with sunshine. But this morning was a rough start. This is a bad morning for me. I cannot go into detail... for I am not sure just how public this is.... even though there are apparently no readers... I would not want to be disrespectful to anyone. So I will just say, this is going to be a long day... without much communication with the wife.
I am praying today while at work. Maybe something will happen...something good. I hope so.
I am praying today while at work. Maybe something will happen...something good. I hope so.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
getting used to change!
Gm invisible world. I just know your out there. Im not sure if I wrote this before, but a week or so ago, I was pulled over. Exactly... me the traffic cop.... in my poe-leece car, was pulled over by a citizen who promptly told me that I had a brake light out. lol. I asked them if this was a warning or am I getting a ticket.? ha. I fixed the light quick.
It rained last night... and will be warmer today. about 52 deg they say.... but there is still snow in the forecast in a few days. Weather here is always interesting at the change of seasons. march can do anything, and I remember it snowing in april...
Soon it will be time to mow the stupid yards... I hope my "renters" keep my place looking nice back home. Its pre coffee and my mind is foggy...so ill make this one short and sweet. Things are good at home..and this transition seems to be getting alittle bit smoother... seems the new step daughter will be moving out sooner than I thought... when the new house is closed end of the month, She will be getting started moving. I hope the two big dogs go too! lol.
It will be different. its amazing how my life changed so much so fast...when for 13 years it didn't change a bit. Even though I sought change... and prayed for it....it didn't happen. I began to doubt if it was ever going to happen. I just knew deep down inside that there was an "around the corner" for me. I just couldn't see around it. But when it came...and this is what you need to remember...when it came... IT CAME! and bam.... big changes fast and furious. Im still adapting. sometimes I cant believe I have a wife! I live in Latta. I now have 2 homes. I have dogs. I have a pool. things are so different... But they are better. I wont forget how lonely it was for so long. and how I prayed... how I wished and thought and dreamed.... of a new life... with someone suitable to share it with. a partner. Im very proud to say I have one now. sometimes the old me flares up...but I get on track quick. I short out less and less.... anxiety is lower and lower. Im starting...ever so slowly to feel more comfortable...in my new life. Life is either on the way to change....or is changing.... always. If your life has not changed lately....get ready...its on the way. Seek and you will find.
Im thankful. Keep praying. Smile.
It rained last night... and will be warmer today. about 52 deg they say.... but there is still snow in the forecast in a few days. Weather here is always interesting at the change of seasons. march can do anything, and I remember it snowing in april...
Soon it will be time to mow the stupid yards... I hope my "renters" keep my place looking nice back home. Its pre coffee and my mind is foggy...so ill make this one short and sweet. Things are good at home..and this transition seems to be getting alittle bit smoother... seems the new step daughter will be moving out sooner than I thought... when the new house is closed end of the month, She will be getting started moving. I hope the two big dogs go too! lol.
It will be different. its amazing how my life changed so much so fast...when for 13 years it didn't change a bit. Even though I sought change... and prayed for it....it didn't happen. I began to doubt if it was ever going to happen. I just knew deep down inside that there was an "around the corner" for me. I just couldn't see around it. But when it came...and this is what you need to remember...when it came... IT CAME! and bam.... big changes fast and furious. Im still adapting. sometimes I cant believe I have a wife! I live in Latta. I now have 2 homes. I have dogs. I have a pool. things are so different... But they are better. I wont forget how lonely it was for so long. and how I prayed... how I wished and thought and dreamed.... of a new life... with someone suitable to share it with. a partner. Im very proud to say I have one now. sometimes the old me flares up...but I get on track quick. I short out less and less.... anxiety is lower and lower. Im starting...ever so slowly to feel more comfortable...in my new life. Life is either on the way to change....or is changing.... always. If your life has not changed lately....get ready...its on the way. Seek and you will find.
Im thankful. Keep praying. Smile.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
still good ...even when its muddied up abit.
Well the roads are mostly clear today. still some signs of snow around... and you can kiss your ass goodbye if you step in a slick spot. It is currently 19 deg F. Last night was a blur... my back hurt a lot yesterday and into the night. Apparently I snored and groaned a lot last night.... and poof. It was time to get up and start again. Seems such a waste of time doesn't it? Makes you wonder why were even here ...whats the purpose? I guess to do good, enjoy the fruits of labor,... and be thankful unto God... in all things.... and pray about it all. that's my summarized version. In other words, we are biding our time until we can go home. We are like... ET... left here. But He will come back and get us. Ever see the similarities in the movie ET and Jesus? Each came from the heavens. Each was very different and unique. Each healed people while here.. each did wondrous things while interacting with humans, each made us think...from a different perspective... each became wounded ....each came to life and got better....each went back to the heavens. interesting huh?
So it seems that life is just one long long huge ass transition. or change. all the same to me. sometimes transitions are smooth and orderly, but mine seem to be sloppy ...not graceful, and abit chaotic. I like things in order....so I work until they are acceptable to me. I wonder if life as I see it, will ever be just right? In order. ducks in a row. I guess it is a good thing having something else to do.. another goal. it means im still alive. As long as I can be happy in the moment of it.... right now. not later after I acquire whatever im wanting done.... but right now...while Im doing it. happy every heartbeat, whether things are well...smooth ...or whether they are not. chaotic. I guess that's just the way life is. Even when we get the thing that seems to satisfy us.....we seem to somehow track it up.. muddy it up.... step in it,.... and just somehow make it not quite as satisfying. But even then I must learn to enjoy that..... if I don't, then just what is the use? Ill be like Solomon.... and be depressed to even breath oxygen. ha.
Enjoy it... even if you see it get messed up. a door ding on the new car. gray in your beard. life going by. babies are adults. change. transition. Enjoy each heartbeat of the moment... because your life is made up of heartbeats. moments. memories. make them good. focus on the good. not the mud.
on the way to work I spilled my coffee. It was warm. it was wet. I put a blanket I found in the back seat of the etruck over it and me... it happened. I enjoyed the rest of my coffee.
Be happy. lonely will end if you move. Change... transisiton. embrace it...its coming anyway. the only way to end loneliness is to make a change. Even t he most peaceful enticing things...can make you miserable...if its lonely. Trust. Trust that God has this....and step out. If you stay put... well. you know the answer to that.
have a great Tuesday oh invisible world!
So it seems that life is just one long long huge ass transition. or change. all the same to me. sometimes transitions are smooth and orderly, but mine seem to be sloppy ...not graceful, and abit chaotic. I like things in order....so I work until they are acceptable to me. I wonder if life as I see it, will ever be just right? In order. ducks in a row. I guess it is a good thing having something else to do.. another goal. it means im still alive. As long as I can be happy in the moment of it.... right now. not later after I acquire whatever im wanting done.... but right now...while Im doing it. happy every heartbeat, whether things are well...smooth ...or whether they are not. chaotic. I guess that's just the way life is. Even when we get the thing that seems to satisfy us.....we seem to somehow track it up.. muddy it up.... step in it,.... and just somehow make it not quite as satisfying. But even then I must learn to enjoy that..... if I don't, then just what is the use? Ill be like Solomon.... and be depressed to even breath oxygen. ha.
on the way to work I spilled my coffee. It was warm. it was wet. I put a blanket I found in the back seat of the etruck over it and me... it happened. I enjoyed the rest of my coffee.
Be happy. lonely will end if you move. Change... transisiton. embrace it...its coming anyway. the only way to end loneliness is to make a change. Even t he most peaceful enticing things...can make you miserable...if its lonely. Trust. Trust that God has this....and step out. If you stay put... well. you know the answer to that.
have a great Tuesday oh invisible world!
Monday, March 3, 2014
how do you get frozen juice out??
Good morning peeps... I say peeps because it sounds so impersonal... and since I know there s no one out there that reads this mess I type... well then peeps is good for me. I had a good weekend..i can see good positive changes in both her and I, and this transition of marriage after being single for so many years is just a tad smoother. I have my reasons why I believe this is going this way, but Ill keep those to myself. IT was a very very cold start at 5 degrees with snow and a bit of ice. We had Thunder snow or ThunderIce... last night. Only in Oklahoma... does it thunder, and snow /sleet at the same time. its like a cross between a thunderstorm and a snow storm all in one.
Everyone knows that Im such a retard in the kitchen.. I swear I do everything awkwardly and mostly wrong in the kitchen. I can manage to open a can (with my manual opener not t he auto matic one .. which is the can opener from hell) and stir ..the simple things. I decided I would help her mix up frozen orange juice. I asked how... she said.... really? your 52 yrs old and you never mixed frozen juice? nope...never. now why would I? I just buy the stuff already made in a carton or jug or something. so anyway... I looked at this tube of frozen stuff to be put in a pitcher and then fill it with 3 thingys of water and mix. ok. cool. first problem. it would not come out of the tube container. hmm. I squeezed it. nothing. it was partially thawed.. let me think. GOT it..! ill poke a hole in th eother end ..it should come right out. I poked 3. it did come right out. but when I filled the tube thingy with water 3 times... it of course leaked out the 3 holes. alittle messy.... wonder how its supposed to be done? I held myfinger of the h oles and did it anyway. My first frozen juice accomplishment! She made fun of me until I reminded her that she helped me in the shop as I was putting gas in the log splitter... she handed me an empty can of gas...and I suggested how about the one with gas in it? But I really think shes more at home in the shop than I am in the kitchen.
dogs dogs dogs. I knew she had them when I married them... but they were never so under my feet before! theres odie...whos personality is just like his name... and ky-ann... whos the biggest pain in the ass ever... part husky I think...very vocal...but kind of entertaining... and scout an aging long haired little dog, and then the old man...peanut..whos about 13 yrs old . a weenie dog. he doesn't see so well, and has some bad days. His worst characteristic is he pees everywhere on everything. If I could get away with it..Id have 4 deep holes dug in the back yard...no...in someone elses back yard... and poof. but oh well. In may...ill lose the 2 biggest ones... as they go with the stepdaughter getting married.
So when I cut wood on sat at the ranch and split some... I guess my new chain saw pooted out on me. I have to take it in and see what the deal is. Get a couple of sharp chains too. It was a good workout, but there is plenty of tree left in that old oak. now my back hurts... this getting old crap really sucks. Good thing no one speeds in this town when theres snow on the hwy...I can hardly get out of the stupid squad car!
ok enough of this... my world is getting better. I can see a hope for happiness now. I function so much better with someone then w/o someone. I have hay left. the cows are good. I have new lick out. things are good. well mostly good. most of the problems I have come from within myself... I cause them. So I can eliminate them.
that's about it in my world. winter is about to end....taking its time... and spring will bring the tornadoes.... lets do this!
later!
Everyone knows that Im such a retard in the kitchen.. I swear I do everything awkwardly and mostly wrong in the kitchen. I can manage to open a can (with my manual opener not t he auto matic one .. which is the can opener from hell) and stir ..the simple things. I decided I would help her mix up frozen orange juice. I asked how... she said.... really? your 52 yrs old and you never mixed frozen juice? nope...never. now why would I? I just buy the stuff already made in a carton or jug or something. so anyway... I looked at this tube of frozen stuff to be put in a pitcher and then fill it with 3 thingys of water and mix. ok. cool. first problem. it would not come out of the tube container. hmm. I squeezed it. nothing. it was partially thawed.. let me think. GOT it..! ill poke a hole in th eother end ..it should come right out. I poked 3. it did come right out. but when I filled the tube thingy with water 3 times... it of course leaked out the 3 holes. alittle messy.... wonder how its supposed to be done? I held myfinger of the h oles and did it anyway. My first frozen juice accomplishment! She made fun of me until I reminded her that she helped me in the shop as I was putting gas in the log splitter... she handed me an empty can of gas...and I suggested how about the one with gas in it? But I really think shes more at home in the shop than I am in the kitchen.
dogs dogs dogs. I knew she had them when I married them... but they were never so under my feet before! theres odie...whos personality is just like his name... and ky-ann... whos the biggest pain in the ass ever... part husky I think...very vocal...but kind of entertaining... and scout an aging long haired little dog, and then the old man...peanut..whos about 13 yrs old . a weenie dog. he doesn't see so well, and has some bad days. His worst characteristic is he pees everywhere on everything. If I could get away with it..Id have 4 deep holes dug in the back yard...no...in someone elses back yard... and poof. but oh well. In may...ill lose the 2 biggest ones... as they go with the stepdaughter getting married.
So when I cut wood on sat at the ranch and split some... I guess my new chain saw pooted out on me. I have to take it in and see what the deal is. Get a couple of sharp chains too. It was a good workout, but there is plenty of tree left in that old oak. now my back hurts... this getting old crap really sucks. Good thing no one speeds in this town when theres snow on the hwy...I can hardly get out of the stupid squad car!
ok enough of this... my world is getting better. I can see a hope for happiness now. I function so much better with someone then w/o someone. I have hay left. the cows are good. I have new lick out. things are good. well mostly good. most of the problems I have come from within myself... I cause them. So I can eliminate them.
that's about it in my world. winter is about to end....taking its time... and spring will bring the tornadoes.... lets do this!
later!
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