tonight was such a clear beautiful night. the sky was so dark, and the stars were so bright. I found my star immediately. as i looked and felt the ever present wind blowing my hair... I thought of my life, and my past. It seems easier somehow to think of my pain rathe rthen my laughter. im not sure why that is. But anyway.. I thought of past dreams that did not come true. there I go again. thinking of the dreams tha tdidnt come true, instead of the ones that did. ha. The biggest one is the dream of "her". I had a dream girl once. I wore the prettest rose colored glasses you ever did see. I swear the was not one chip on that white pickett fence. I spoke to a friend tonight... because I could not sleep, and she workds nights... so she was up. An artist. A good friend and woman...(who wont come w/i 10 miles of me! lol) and she advised...to wait. She said things like.." shes out there.... dont settle... youll see....she will make you forget the past....." I guess the world needs an artist. so creative and passionate. I do not believe "she" is out there. stupid dream. I had one dream girl. it was enough for my lifetime. If I knew another one, she might kill me off the rest of the way. lol. Maybe the next one will do it quicker and less p;ainfully. for now, Ill try to focus on being p;ositive, and remember the dreams that did come true. lets see now... what are they. I knwo they are there.
Watching for antoher tumbleweed. Dont see any in sight. I miss those. Some people.. have words that just melt you. Sometimes you ... just want to be melted. maybe the next tumbleweed will have some of those rose colored glasses attached. ha. Im not wearing them though. never again. Some plans evolve so slow, i never see them.... until they happen. sometimes thats good. sometimes.... not so much.
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