just a swingin..

Today was a beautiful day. Sunny... and not too windy. I checked the fence lines on the 4 wheeler , and sat in the metal swing i hung long ago in the woods. its over sees a pasture... and faces west. I used to sit there and watch the sun set...and with luck sometimes see a deer crossing over. I looked up as I have often done, and looked up through the branches in the tree. I remember so many times before seeing the different sights ..as the seasons changed. sometimes it had leaves, sometimes the skyh was gray. Today... no leaves, but a nice blue sky. I watched as clouds rolled in and obscured the sun, and the day darkened. I noticed the sun rays shining downward from behind them, and the coolness of the wind  as the evening approached.  I sit .. in the middle.... of something.... i know not what.... and I wonder... when to get up and leave, and when to just sit still and listen and learn. I hear everything....the wind, the grass blowing... the birds that are singing. But I do not hear my voice of direction. I hear memories of the past.... they are always with me. It is too bad that my life has become a batch of memories, with no apparent meaning.  I cleaned my  house today. yes I said I cleaned it. and put my late dogs bed and toys away. It was a sad time. but it was my time. so I am still wondering and stumbling along... about what I am to do next. just sit here on this 65 acres...in the middle of nowhwere.... doing my quiet country thing alone? or ...sell it all.... and be ready to move. to leave. and then what.... im wondering what if anything will come next. Maybe life will change..sometimes it does.

Until then, I will watch and learn. soak up wha tI can..tha tis positive, and push away all the negative energies of my life.  im just a swingin..... wheres charlette at??