pictures finally!

Finally. I figured out how to load stupid pictures on this stupid blog. That's what results from time to myself. lol. Good things are sprinkled within the many other not so good things that rain down on a mans life. I remember the quote " there are worse things than dying".  I wondered about that when I saw the pearly gates. ok I didn't really see them. So here I am with my grandson.... hes quite a chunk, but I didn't have to lift him. He just sat there. and I soaked that little bit of good right up. Then I got my shot in the stomach. yes it left a mark.

a weekend of adventure!!!

well ive been alittle out of pocket lately. Seems this business that life gives you kinda takes over and first thing you know, you don't do anything but hurry to this or that and go to work. Maybe that's what vacations are for....or heart attacks...

okok so im 55, and in great shape, and just passed with flying colors, the heart check up, and tread mill test and all of that. I walk an average of 12k steps per day, not counting the steps, stairs, and ladders I climb. Part of my average work day may be spent on a roof top, or on my knees. But despite my physical work life, my rugged outdoorsyness, and super hero aura, I actually had a heart attack last sunday. I know right?? It was very painful, and I apparently am quite funny while high on morphine. In the ER room, I told the 5 nurses working on me, that it was every mans dream to have 5 women take his pants off...which they were doing. I also told them not to cut my GOOD work paints off of me... I must say the helicopter ride is over rated, and probably way to expensive, as the little horizontal "sleeper" they placed me in with the 6 point harness was not very comfy. not to mention barfing to do the amount of morphine they gave me. Anyway, an hour later, I had 2 stints in and surgery was over, and I was in the room. My main nurse, "Crystal" was absolutely perfect! I told her before she gave me shots in the stomach...(not rabies!) she should bring 2 needles, cuz Id probably bend the first one with my abs of steel. many nurses laughed at this statement.... I didn't think it was THAT funny... Thank you Oklahoma Heart Hospital, and Crystal.!

So I have some extra time on my hands as Im not allowed to go back to work just yet. So nearly dying...well I always wondered what itd be like to do that. you know, like..how Id react to it...I found out. ha. I asked God to just take me, as I was ready, mostly due to the pain. I guess that was kinda chicken hearted to say, but anyway, He made me live another day. Im not sure why, but I can just guess I have something or things yet undone. 

So I have my to do list here....vacuum, home depot, etc. Wait... housework will be working ...and that is not allowed per drs orders! Today I intend to get out of this house though! Even if it kills me! lol. So have you wondered what your last day on earth would be like? Mine would have been nice... nice weather, mowing the yard, being productive... I remember I was ready to go. I wonder if the reader of this blog is? Seems the best a man can do, is to be productive, and enjoy as much of the day as what it brings, and not worry much about tomorrow. Just keep going I guess. The pace will change as I age, or so my knees tell me. But notice the sunshine, or something good... like grandchildren, pretty women, I don't know...sports cars. lol. okok... grand kids... laughter...

I am trying to figure out how to put more pics on this thing...but I only could do it once.....

just a little update on the tiny house.

I may have mentioned this before...but I have a "tiny house " project. you see, I built this shop, its a 25x25 shop.,, and I decided to build a living quarters in it. Its really a nice "dog house". I figure when this woman frustrates the crap out of me, I can retreat to it, and feel the peace of the country. That peace has healed me before...sooo.. but I had NO idea that this tiny house project would be so demanding ....and HARD... omg. I can no longer get on my knees and spring right back up to get something..I now have to crawl over to something and pull myself up with it. Reminds me of when my aunt Reba would bend over to get a tooth that fell out of her head, and then couldn't get back up.

As soon as I can remember how to get more pics off my phone and onto this ...I ll post a few pics of what Im doing here. So today I checked the garden, and I worked with a hired friend to do the bathroom. We worked ont he shower a lot...but its still not finished. I swear Ive put so much money in this, and so much time, I think I may self destruct!

The wind nearly blew me away, I painted my fingers red, but I didn't cut anything off. Next trip Ill hope to finish the shower, and maybe be ready to put sheet rock up. I guess there are things in life that you just underestimate, but ... if you stay with it, you get it done. God Help me.... were going to get this done together!

(Hi Jenner!)

walks, movies, dinner! its date night for oldies!

date night! its so exciting.... it happens every Friday night. When we were dating, I so looked forward to date night.! I was determined to continue the excitement, and continue date night on Friday nights when possible. Tonight , our choices were to take a walk around the park, have a campfire, roast some wieners, and watch netflex, or go and eat, and make a movie. I looked on the movie menu and decided our option would be Batman vs Superman. My wifes favorite kind of flick. uh huh.

this is where the fun began! We decided at the last moment to take Scout, our faith ful little dog. He was excited for the first little hitch of the walk, then pam decided to take the long route instead of the short one, and me and Scout started limping. Ok I limped. But he breathed real hard. That's when pam remembered that I had a blister on my little toe from walking so much at work. and I picked cotton while I did it too. just like when we were kids walking to school. but that is another story. So l finished the walk with bloody feet. and then we decided to come home and get ready for the movie.



Pam was all dressed up,  and I changed shirts, but kinda forgot to change pants and work boots (which I walked around the park in) and it was pointed out that my jeans had bleached out places in them...and btw why didn't I dress up too? oops.  So we made the movie. Got there early. The ticket guy was amused when we realized "someone" had the wrong movie time. oops! so pam whipped out her popcorn box that was refillable when he told her that it was only refillable on that day..only. Wrong box for the "anytime refill". Oops!. There went dinner. ugh. so... we walked to Hastings, and rented a movie. I checked to make sure the right movie was in it! We ordered bean burritos with hot sauce and got bean burritos with hardly any beans in it. with mild sauce.  ugh.

Ok...so sore feet walking, no movie, no popcorn, cold burritos, ... now lets take a crack at this rented movie and see if we can make it to the bed without sleeping on the remote that changes bed positions that wakes us up in the sitting position. oops.

ok...I just discovered I cant get the ps3 to work so I cant play the blu ray disc. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Gardening, working, and pain.

Well, the kids popped off about wanting a garden... and how it would be healthy, and all that savings stuff. And about that time, the wife decided to go on a diet. Sooo... we decided we would "put in a garden" last Saturday. Im only now getting to type about it, because I was too sore to type. So our blessed son in law did the roto tilling...sorta... and threw some seeds down on the ground. I guess he wanted to be sure he got some squash and corn. Of course we offered to let him take part, but he said.. "nope. Im good." and...."who would want to till that again"?.. so I guess his taste of gardening was satisfied.

After we planted and planted, and planted... and were somewhat delirious.. (where did those little plants go? did we ;plant them already? No...I thought you had them...{we left them at home} noo... I thought YOU had them...) we had to help each other up. We make a lot more noise now, when we get up off our knees. Then the watering thing.... and of course we accidently get wet and the rouge sprinkler attacks. I warned her. Maybe she'll believe me now.

After the 2nd day...yes...it took 2 days... we thru our hands up and said "were done"... and hope the kids will water the stupid thing. you see, the kids live there on the premises, and can actually turn the knob and start the water sprinkler. I hope they understand that they may have to move it to get the whole garden covered.  So... that night...it was Aleeve, turn the massage bed on, (I had a pocket full of quarters!) and we passed out! the next day, we fell out of bed. I was thinking...we better have a decent garden.! The garden work knocked me out of checking the bees, which Im worried about, as I wanted to try to harvest honey next month! I was going to give them a good pep talk. Except for the "ninja attack bees".. I was just going to sing songs about Jesus around them. Maybe play a violin. Promote peace. I think I need a bee suit that looks like a bear. Maybe they would be nicer then. Ill check them all next weekend...which now is like...3 days. ugh.

I worked on the roof of married housing all day today. I mean ALL day. but I had my trusty ear nubs, and listened to some good ol classic music. some country , some rock. Until I saw a group of kids filming me I think...I guess I was dancing alittle too much. Those iphone ear thingys are amazing! I hope I don't turn up on Youtube... cuz I was not graceful in that high wind doing the Elvis leg jig to my tunes.

The wife decided shed hide out in a "budget meeting"  until around 730 pm tonight... it started around 330 pm. Geesh how long can one talk about numbers?  Maybe we can watch the last episode of Dr. Joie Hart tonight... Its kinda of sad. They didn't renew it I think. And its still not fall, so...no Longmire. Surely we can find something interesting on Netflex until then! Its my job to find that "filler"show until the real stuff we wanna watch shows up in September.

Well I guess Ive rambled enough now. Ill drift to another task, as long as I can do it on my buttocks. Im tired!

The Process.

the process. it takes a while to get your head around it. this whole thing we call life... and the process of aging. I remember when I was young,.. I used to see older people... and I thought, poor guy, he is so old. I didn't really  have the time to "do" old. and although I was polite.... I really didn't see them as that important. I knew of course that they were young once, but I never stopped to think just who were they...back when they were young. when they were my age. and now....

and now, I get that look from other  younger people. I remember that look. I am quickly dismissed. Although in my mind, I am still young... I am still strong, in their eyes, I am old. I am not so important. They don't wonder who I am, or who I was. The experiences I had, the lives I touched, the things I stood for, all.... almost as though they never happened. Almost. Once in a great while, someone from the past greets me, and talks to me about something I did or said that affected them.

Then poof. I am a grandpa. Ive heard that term for so long. for many years. Its an old man term. But I am so proud.. to actually BE one. Now I have what I consider to be my grandson...my step grandson, little Noah... hes 3 years old. And he is the perfect little fella... but this time I want to talk about Little Chasen Wade. Yes I thought he should've been Chasen Andrew, but oh well. Its the end of the line for McKinzies. No more family name of Andrew. No more McKinzies. Im proud to have had two such wonderful daughters...but alas they will both someday undoubtedly be married and take a new name. So ...not even an "Andrew". sigh. oh well. But I will embrace this aging thing.... for what else can I do? I must think and feel many of the things the "oldies" of my youth, that I used to observe, thought and felt.

Then I look into my grandsons eyes.

I wonder how those "oldies" felt and thought, when they looked into their first grandsons eyes for the first time?

YOu know...today I climbed 3 flights of stairs about 6 times. I feel very blessed to of been able to do this, as it is just a small part of what I do at work. I spent a lot of time on top of a building. More climbing. Those old AC units are so demanding I swear.  Sometimes I think my left knee will just blow up...and sometimes I think its my right one. lol. I figure Ill just bee bop along, and when something on me goes *bangboom* then it will.  I guess "they" felt that way too. and every student at that university looks at me for a split second, and disappears into themselves.... just like I did so many years ago.

I wonder what the sunset looked like tonight? I wonder what I am missing...? I want to experience everything....and not miss a thing. Im hungry to .....yeah I guess they felt that way too.

Hello Chasen....

Battle of the Frankenstein bees: Revenge of the Monster bees.

once upon a time there was a man who decided to move 2 hives....of Frankenstein bees. These bees were undoubtedly created when lightning struck some bees in hell, and they came to life in our world, with some demented voice yelling "theyre alive...theyre alive!"

well the man had a plan...he would suit up and sneak up on the hives and close the entrances, trapping the demonic insects inside, and then strap the tops down thus securing the hives on the stand they were on. Then he would move them with the tractors front end loader and drive them to the new location. He would then remove the barriers in the entrances and place a barrier like leaves in the entrance so the bees would pause upon exiting to get their bearings. good plan.

So.. he sneaks. he forgot the to plug up the entrances. outpouring of monster bees. calmly he maintains his pose and straps the belts across each top, only after having to rethread the straps cuz he pulled them apart accidently. finally. secured. bees are tapping his suit all over like a machine gun.  yes a machine gun. did I mention Frankenstein bees? but much faster. If Frankenstein had wings Hed be very very fast. oh, and a stinger. crap. a stinger. just imagine. ok your getting there...

Its about this time that one of the little monster bees gets inside his veil and starts crawling across his face while buzzing and taunting his victim. The bee knows hes got him now... somehow , he achived the impossible! He crawled thru a bee proff veil.  Its about this time the man begins to run very fast... while trying to mash the bee in his gloved hand thru the mesh in the veil before he gets an eye permantly put out by young Frankenstein. As he does this he runs about 3 times around the house of the homeowner while they watch in horror and semi entertainment at the big picture window of the house. They may have a camera.  Then as he knocks his glasses off , and his cap , he keeps running as they bounce around inside the veil. zing! stung on the nose. The cows come running up, because they just know the howling noise this bee keeper is making means they are going to be fed. Finally he stops running. He cannot wipe his nose. or his tears. He may of peed. just saying.  Hes bent over sucking air, but is afraid to open his mouth. He may pass out. He could die. hundreds of other bees have followed him, and still pummel his "bee proof" suit.

The brave knight bee fighter returns to the hives. His noise stings. His ear stings. He is not sure what else stings. He thinks he avoided peeing his suit. He is not sure. But he wavers not. He gets on the tractor. He is saving the world dang it. He is making the plants all good. Probably saving thousands of lives by saving these poor bees that are so helpless. the tractor idea works. He moves them. millions of bees move with him.

Afterward, he retreats to the shop building, and waits til dark as the minion bees await to kill him but cannot survive the cooler darknees. Later in safety, he doctors himself.

I better get some honey out of this deal! and no....NO pictures. and there better not be a video of this anywhere!

the killer bees from hell.

Well I decided to check the new hives I got two weeks ago. you know..to see how the are adapting. Now I have had 3 hives for a year now, and they are doing just fine. Sometimes I just go out there, and watch them fly off...to see what direction they are going. Or watch one of the girls toss something out of the hive, like a dead drone (male) or some other bug. Its quite interesting to watch them do their bee thing. So I went out to the farm, and suited up. Just for extra precaution I lit up the ol smoker, and got it puffing good. I had my pretty assistant (wife) suited up too... her job..was to keep the smoker lit and puffing.

I kinda noticed things were a tad different, when I got to the hives and the buzzing noise seem to get a bit louder. no problem.. I myself took the smoker in hand and puffed around the lids and entrances, then handed if off to pop the top off. I reminded assistant to puff the smoker. and then all kinds of bee hell flew out and it rained bees for the next hour solid. I kept feeling these little bee taps all over my suit.... and finally I couldn't see very well out of my veil...as the mutant ninja bees from ..somewhere were covering my veil.

The little stinkers managed to sting me once thru my suit, so I closed em up...they were having no bee problems...except they couldn't eat the human in the white suit...and I walked back to the shop to de-suit... but they followed me.  in fact, they followed me everywhere. heck I had to climb on a 4 wheeler and drive 1/2 a mile to evade the little suckers. On the other hand, Im told they will make a lot more honey then the more tame bees.  Now I will have to move them far far away from the house and shop, so no more innocent victims get tagged by the stupid killer bees. Im gonna paint a skull and cross bones on their homes for sure.

blog like a ninha. ninja!

Its spring! well nearly. close enough. I ll be getting my bee vac out soon... and hope to catch me some swarms! If yall see some, call me...and Ill come suckem up. Hopefully I have learned enough in the past year to keep them happier..and they'll stay at home. Ive learned a lot. Im goin to put in a bee bar, a waggle dance frame, and have the pollen police in case it gets really wild... Im SURE they will stay home after I catch them this year!

But the upcoming week I just took off, is not looking so promising today! MORE rain. at t his rate my bees will not make the honey I want them to! It is the weekend fast approaching, and im ready to burn some calories! I don't guess itll be from wrestling with the roto tiller in the future garden..as it is mud!  But Im sneaking up on that.im eyeballin one of those tractor tillers! Boy wont my garden grow so much better with one of those suckers!?

Im sitting here with my remote control gas fireplace burning...man that was a sweet Christmas gift I bought her.... and listening to the rain pitter patter outside. Funny how 68 deg is colder when I can hear it rain, and the fire place just comes on...If it were sunny outside...the fire wouldn't even think about coming on, and Id be sweating outside doing some kind of honeydo thing.

My mind is on honey and bees! and rain! Surely MY bees can fly and gather stuff in the rain. After all they are ninja bees. its a little known species... they are black and have secrets. like ninjas. Like how to fly in the rain. Im counting on getting me some honey this year...and hopefully some of yall too... so this gaggle of bees...umm.. herd of bees....ok bunch of bees better do this right!

Pretty soon im gonna have this photo insertion thing down, and Im gonna move on with how to put a video in my blog...dang. Ill be famous then. be on a talk show...have pizzeria taking my picture, heck Ill probably be on a commercial or something. After I get the blog how tos done....then I can start the real blog. I can blog like a ninha too. I mean a ninja. I wonder if there are secrets of the ninha too? hmm. ok im a tad bored with the rest of this day off. probably shoulda stayed at work. whos bright idea was this.... it wasn't raining when I took off. maybe I can reach the remote......

Lets just all shutup and watch the sunset.

Ive heard a lot lately about the problems of the world, illegal immigrants, and how women should be able to kill their unborn babies if they want to... Ive heard a lot about how a lot of people think they deserve free health care and free this or that. I cant blame a person for wanting free this or that... but who can get everything for free ? I got a free t shirt once. You can wear that. As for the rest, I think you should just go get a job.

Im thinkin you can join me for a cup of coffee while we watch the sun set, and we can talk about whatever you want, as long as we respect each other. I didn't say agree with each other. I swear as long as I live, I don't understand how some people can think that its ok to wear pants around their knees, and that we should just feed the whole freaking world whether its legal or not, with the tax money received from working citizens. Sometimes I think if we were all monkeys, some of us, would want to ....well nevermind. But just because I don't understand  you , it doesn't mean I should be angry with you... or think your stupid. Your just a dumbass.  you poor slob. no okok...your just right in your world..and very wrong in mine. now this is where we take a sip of something..coffee...and shut up. I think it was Will Rogers who said..."never miss an opportunity to...shut up".

Oh that sunset. aint it pretty.

so theres not much that I can do to save this ol world....Im thinkin its doomed anyway. But I can throw my 2 cents out there for what its worth...ahemm.... (2 cents in case you wondered) and then relax. just chill. It don't matter anyway.....I believe the world has its destiny, and Im here for a limited time.

So maybe we could all be President for a year and take say....10 vacations...with our familes... and.. no wait. wrong blog. not my circus. not my monkeys. ok for some reason Ive got monkeys on the brain here.

Some people are hurting... they are truly having a crisis, and they are hurting. The problems of this political race pale in comparison to the real problems that real people are having today. I hope real Love doesn't disappear ...I hope Im doing my part to "let my light be seen",... where IS that peaceful sunset. Is it time yet Lord?

Get the storm cellar ready!

Good morning world...
Its been a very wet rainy gray couple of days. Im looking forward to some sunshine, and birds chirping, and working with my bees, and doing some things I love to do. Things that bring me peace. I don't get why people expect me to live a certain way, when that way doesn't bring much peace. Everyone seems to want me to work until I die... and I like work, but Id rather do the work that brings me joy. That work is on my farm in the country. My little 65 acres. I remember being so unhappy out there... because I was so lonesome. It can be a very desolate place! But when you have someone to share things with, it can be just perfect. For me anyway...But in life... there are always things that interrupt the joy and peace of country life. Like storm season.

I never had a storm cellar before.... I cant see the tornado from down there! But I have one now... Its time to clean out the cellar and have it ready to use...otherwise youll be sharing it with a black widow and have webs in your hair.

Im not sure why God allows storms to be present in the world. We don't really need them. Its just a sign of more chaos to me....But here they are, and I guess we deal with them. just like we deal with the other chaos in our lives.  We try to prepare, have a plan, and re focus on the peace. Thank you Lord for I know all peace comes ultimately from you! Maybe if we had peace all the time , we wouldn't know it was peace.... maybe we wouldn't have anything to compare it to.

Lets live this day, and talk to God on and off all day long. Keeping in touch helps me to stay focused. Lets put today in a head lock and take it down!

photos, memories, and plans for today.

Sometimes you come home and find your 25ft carport on top of your barn. Things seem to just force you to change ...ugh. I hate it when that happens. I guess Im such a creature of change. Ok ive just now discovered this "Picasso of web albums" feature on this blog site. heck Ive never seen it before and have no idea how these pics even got here. lol. wonder how I get more new ones in it? This pic is old, from back when...you guessed it.... the old carport blew away. I remember this well... I came home from a trip, and my daughter was house watching.... and I looked out the back window and saw this. I asked..."katy... did you see anything ummm unsual out back...by the barn? she said noo.... and looked. and still said...nooooo... whats different? UMMMM....the carport is on top of the barn??? She looked and said....ohhhh... is that new? it wasn't always like that?". I swear. Shes much smarter now.i swear it. she is.

Lots of things have happened since I left the farm. Yes I left it. Yes I did. I know its hard to believe. But I had to. I left for a time soon to return. I hope. Lots of changes...many were good. I got married! yep. for 2 years now. Ive about countrytized her and will tow her back to the farm in a year or so. Until this, this daughter that was so young when this happened has married, and now lives HERE on my farm! whod of thought? Thank God she married a country fella. and now Im a Grampa!! oh yeah. a Sexy grampa. thought I needed to throw that in there.

im not sure I have any funny stories or wisdom here... seems when I get ready to say something funny I forget it by the time I get on here. really I need to get on more often. So since Im missing my country life, ill reminisce (spelling) about it...the good stuff.... being trapped on the 8 ft ladder top step by the barn when my overalls came down around me and over the ladder... being trapped in a hay ring with a 200 lb calf stuck in the ring, and mad mama wanting to kill me, driving an old hay truck and discovering its on FIRE..., my nightly walks under the stars talking to God finding MY start... roto tilling thru the garden while the big sprinkler was on... barefooted... and the girls drove up with friends... I had a strawhat and shorts on. yeee hawww. Seeing sunsets galore, baby calves, wind blowing so hard I saw my chain fly by, wild life like deer and turkey.. theres more I am sure...but not enough room to type.! and the not so good stuff.... like. being ALONE day in and day out. My dog dying. Death in general...of my cattle, of animals. of relationships. of dreams. the WIND.....did I mention that? Wishing and just....well something inside of me....yearning...to share this with someone special....and the weather ...just a hardness to it... Both sides of this coin are good, yet bad at the same time.

Ill have to find out more about how to get pictures onto this site so I can visually aid my stories. Lord knows they need help. I just have to find out how to get pics from my phone wehre I take them, to this computer easily. I guess Ill send them to email and then copy them here. I guess. maybe Ill investigate this icloud google thing that stores photos. IF there is a phantom reader out there that can insert some wisdom here...feel free to add !! Im floundering here! help a brother out!

ok so today, im sneaking up on a shower, as the WIFE...is out of town shopping with her daughter and a friend in texas... after that...(ive had my one cup of coffee) Ill  go check on kathi and pull some bushes up for her with the truck and a chain, and then ill check the weather, and if its warm enough, Ill come back, and get into my bee suit, and medicate the bee hives for mites for the spring.

yay me.

Notice life, accept life, Trust God, and Love.

Well so much has happened... but Ill leave the details in my online diary. I have noticed this year that I am more concerned with the way my country is turning out, than I am the every day little things. Seems such a shame that my children could not grow up the way I did, and my grandchildren will not have a clue of how it was either. I guess I could say the same of my grandfathers time too though. Im sure nothing was the same as it was when he was a kid either.

Ive been busy ...always busy. Maybe busy is good.. but sometimes I think Im busy with the wrong things. So what will be the sum of my life? a lot of busyness? Is it what your remembered by? or what you accomplish? Does anything really last? I see the really old tombstones... and wonder what they did in their lives. I see buildings named after important people.... being renamed.... after someone else now! I think time....forgets everyone eventually.

So what does one do then? sigh. I think the simple things are it for me. I understand them. I understand that simple wont last either, but at least I can get it, and maybe some of those around me will too. Doing the right thing.... being Godly... Im not sure Ill be remembered as Godly. I have so many things wrong with me. But I  do hope that some will remember me that way, and most importantly that God sees my heart, and knows it to be true to Him.

Funny how a beginning of a project can look so different from a finished project. Ill try to insert a pic of the finished one in here somewhere. I guess my life is that way. I hope it gets completed before I go to the next life. maybe its like a video game, and Ill get extra points. God knows Ill  need them.

My married life is getting a tad easier. She no longer wakes me up tying me to the mattress with rope. that has to be an improvement right? I could pretend that was some kind of kinky sex thing she likes to do with me, but its hard to ignore the lighter, and gasoline can nearby. But hey, she does let me know she needs me. she says "go warm my car up", and "the dishes need to be put up". soo....

well im gonna be a grandpa soon. I look in the mirror as that old sexy bearded gray headed man who can no longer tie his boots without making noise, and think.... grandpa! Im way to sexy for that. but I will embrace it with all my heart.

The world changed around me. did I expect anything else. I see people aging and think... my my... they should look younger...then I see a reflection of me, and I don't recognize myself. lol. The world just keeps changing...and I keep agin. Many of my old friends are already dead. I hope I can get moved back to the country, with my little wife, and be able to enjoy life for a few good years...before I move on.

notice., accept, Trust God, and love those around me. Finish what I start.

ill try to peek in here more often. If I don't see "yall" again..... then I will see you someday, on the other side. I hope its the side with the pearly gates....for  your sakes.

update. found my way back!

wow. I haven't been on here in so long, I about forgot how to log on this thing. But I think I am here! So many things have happened since I last logged on. I will have to look at the last post and see where I left off? !  After being married now for 2 years.. and living in another place.... my world has changed. Ironic that the name of my writings is...The World of Sundance. ha.

Sometimes marriage is good...sometimes it is not so good. But no matter what happens... I still miss the country, and my old place. I have not sold it... my daughter now rents it and lives there. And Im going to be a grampa!! she is due in February!! yay!  The wife and I go out there when we can.. and I make sure to catch a sunset when I can. I am praying somehow sometime, that God will show me the way back...no show US the way back... Id love to lead my small family to a world of peace and good memories. I am not sure how much she realizes how chaotic life is... living here.

maybe I can figure out how to get a pic on here..when all my pics are on my phone anymore. hmmm.

ok this pic is NOT from this year...but I added it because it has a mysterious snow flake snow falling kind of thing going on here. Wonder where the crap that came from? Very interesting... apparently I am out of the loop....with this hi tech stuff.

I still have a dozen or so cows, and I hope to add to that number. Dear God... p lease return me to the country..as it is in my blood... and my heart misses it....but let me bring the bride you gave me there too...toshare it as I have always wanted to do. This is the thing that aches my heart the most now.  I guess I better go now... and see what the heck I was writing about the last time I was on here.

oh btw, this pic is when I lost ALL the mimosa trees in the back yard... about 4 or so years ago.  Im guessing. maybe I can write soon about the way my life has changed since being married.

test/ update

ok this is just a test to see if Im doing this right. had some trouble logging on as its been while since I blogged... things are going well at home... what a transition. I would think that in order for someone that's been single for years....to be able to get remarried... they should have to take an in depth class about what they are looking at! ugh! things are alittle smoother now though...

Well it seems I learned a lesson this last week. a tree is way bigger on the ground afte ryou cut it down, then it is when its standing up. ha. was supposed to have a yard sale ...last Saturday...but on Tuesday a guy appeared that I had talked to...and cut the tree down while I was at work. no biggie.  except it was so wet.... I loaded the first load of brush...which took up the entire yard... on the trailer ..which had a flat. then I decided to burn the brush. so I made a spot....and started burning smallish..... I did well. I burned all day and into the night... I was so tired. Im still not done after burning all weekend every spare moment! geesh. Ill burn some more tonight I guess If I have the energy. Its hard to sleep well, when you've been sleeping in the dog house for a week. yard sale cancelled. I have this week to get it ALL done...as its now on this upcoming Saturday! yee haw.

Had a baby calf...and finally got a bull leased and delivered. That took some pulling strings, to do w/o taking off work here. But I got it done...so all the ladies should be very happy about this.. will have the lover boy until end of sept. they should all be knocked up proper by then!

Bees are doing ok I think. its about time to check on them. But I just have not had the time to checkem. hope they are happy...they seem to be buzzing around the place. I have one hive at the ranch...and 2 at t he house.

I better get to work here... hpe this works.

Trusting is an action word.

Hello peeps. if there was ever anyone out there. Today is bright and sunny and a high of 91 deg. gonna be warmish. things here are about back to some kind of normalcy. I just made that word up... im good like that. One kid is in Europe visiting Germany, etc... and the other wont leave the house. sometimes I wonder if they are sisters.

still have the same job... and plugging along. Just got over a little surprise surgery...seems my appendex wanted out.  And can you believe it didn't even weigh an oz?? youd think after all that, I would have lost like....5 lbs? but no..

Did the reunion thing...lake thing. how stressful! geesh. remind me NOT to do that again next year.

Right when you think things are stable.....things blow up it seems. Im glad there is one stable thing in my life that does not change. Im glad He loves me no matter what... He sure made me some pretty clouds to look at today.

the honeybees are doing ok as far as I know. Im hoping to look into the hive on the weekend. if possible.

Ill catch all yall later.... I need to settle down, and accept what is coming... after all, it is His plan. Sounds easy don't it? Trust.... well. its something you must display...through your thoughts, attitudes, and actions. If your fretting....worried....upset..... then your not trusting. What will be will be. His plan. put my best foot forward...trip, stumble...get up.... and know He wanted me to fall in that direction. Cuz He knows me. others would just walk that way, but not me. I fall that way. graceful I am.

later invisible peeps.

wedding suck.... so do luke warm friends....

the life in a small town cop.... aging...at 53 yrs of age....trying to stay fit.... getting all the regular things done that you need to get done. Then you get a stomach ache which turns into the removal of your appendix.... then  you come back to work...and   get a call that you need to go look for a local hoodlum....as there is a warrant in a neighboring county, and they want him. Couldn't have a quiet day. no ...no.... gotta do this while were recovering from some stupid surgery.  So then theres the go to the ol ladies house and plug up the wheelchair ...cuz shes stranded in her wheely deely chair with a dead battery....in the middle of her living room... and then theres the dog complaint..... when I get there, theres 10 little white puppies running around yipping at whatever puppies yip at... just one thing after antoher. Now on ANY other day, you can sit here in the car and watch paint dry. No a speeder, not a dog loose, not a single call. But not after surgery....no sir ree...

So anyway, theres court today... we can see how many people wanna fight their ticket. yee yaw.

NOw lets talk about weddings. omg... such a pain in the ass. NO body wants to help the mother of the bride out.... oh they say we will help...but where are they when its time to clean out the cabin? or prepare a wedding album? or do a hundred other things? Where are they at photo time? can they even run an errand for you while you take off work and spend the whole day trying to make this a good memorable wedding experience? no way.... they are so full of shit... and good wishes. I say shit and good wishes can grow any garden.... but doesn't do much for a friendship. If these are the kinds of friends that we have....who needs enemies? At least I know my enemies are not going to do anything for me..... they'll tell me up front....

So you cant count on anyone.... except God and yourself. And God takes His sweet time. Seems His time is perfect or something like that....so I wont go there.

Ive got lots of other things to vent and talk about....but Im trying to go easy and not run off all the invisible fans and readers that are out there lappin  up every word I type on this stupid half size screen. So Ill halt right there.

so remember...even though... the world sucks, you cant count on anyone....and no one cares about you or your wellbeing..... "you are special, you are loved....." uh huh.

Now about the time I get ready to end this rant....and go back to work, itll start raining.

oh crappy day...

ugh. its been a rough week. and its only Tuesday. I maybe worked too hard on the weekend. I think I need some play time. I am not a happy camper today..so Ill be brief. The day didn't end well yesterday, and didn't start well this morning... the car overheated.... and its hard to give a citation with no car. I can run along the roadway and yell sounds like a siren...but most likely, the men in white jackets will be called, and Ill just get too hot.

so im done and so is my attitude for the day. And anyone that smiles at me may get bitch slapped.

trust and jobs.

hello invisible peepers. I see I remain a mystery.... good.

times have been good but very tiring and very exhausting. I tell ya...this getting older bit...sucks. and not in a good way. I used to work all day and be able to do it the next day with no problem...but now im so sore I can hardly get my shoes tied, or my boots on. aleeve and "old people cream" are my best friends....IF I can get it on.... good thing I have a wife that will put it on me... she needs some now and then too.

weddings. ugh. My household is stressed to the max. this stepdaughter gets married soon. This month.. and her soon to be hubby quit his job... ugh. didn't like the way the boss talked to him. Seems he thinks someone is going to bail him out or something. I have no idea. but I hope he gets a soft spoken boss in the future... so he will stay at work.

anyway... times come and go. I hope the things tha tbother me now will be taken care of, and my mind set at ease. I guess I just have to =trust God that it will be.  Im getting tired of this job... myself. But Ill not quit until I find another one.

I have not much else to say. Im exhausted and tired....and the week is just starting. seems these weekends are worse than the work week. maybe I can actually rest up on the job to prep for the upcoming weekend. ha.

Let peace and harmony, rest and a revival of mind body and spirit enter within immediately! thank you LORD!                  

easter weekend. perfect.

happy easter invisible people. this is Monday. another early day. get up at 5. at work by six. showered shave and in uniform. thankful for my bride to make me breakfast or I wouldn't get any.

we did easter egg hunts, took pictures, ate easter luncheon...that me and my bride made. we have a vitamix that we are experimenting with.

it was a nice weekend.... weather was just perfect. I got to see both girls...which was special.

im sleepy and drug out. it was a hard tiring weekend. burned abit of wood in the "clay pot".. as I call it. I didn't get to mow the yard, and it was a nice gentle rain. Im guessing itll be ready to mow before sat ...my next day off.

ok falling asleep here...gotta get some coffee. I saw too many easter rabbits, and not enough open jesus tombs.... I got kisses and hugs...from the ones I love... I saw children having fun. I thanked God for breathing... which is more than I could say a few years ago. All in all it was a good weekend. the redbuds are blooming... I saw a cardinal. perfect.

the good turns in life...finally.

good morning world. its been a good week. eventful. from dead bodies to car accidents, to first aid, to traffic tickets... to the ups and downs of married life, to parents aging, in the hospital, and on and on. At least it was not a boring week. I have a new lawn mower! yeah. And I have a new genuine black in color VITAMIX! oh yeah. now im gonna be so freaking healthy. yes I am.

I better do something ..Im about to bust out of these breetches im wearing...

ive been delinquent in writing here lately. the weather is warming up... and getting nicer. were getting some rain, and things are blooming. I guess its spring. finally. who d of thought it would ever arrive.? whew. it was a long winter. I have got to get back to the farm to see what the kids have done.. lol. one can never tell. I know they are mowing the yard, cuz I saw it on fb. ha..

I don't feel very funny...this am. just tired. I could use another cup of coffee. lol. so Ill say God is good, Life is good... its been a good week in general... with a few challenging days. yesterday was good. IT started out well, and ended well. what more can you ask? yay me. yay us. Im thankful for my wife.... with all her quirks and stubbornness, I love her....and I remember how empty my life seemed before her. Although my lifestyle, and my daily doings, have changed completely... I have to say, things are good. things are very good.

Now I am trying a few "doors" to see if they open. Lets see what God will do next! jerimiah 33:3 !! hang on for the ride!! lets make a few good turns in life!

Peace unto you!

foggy in my mind

Lordy. this morning I am falling asleep here. I had my one cupper of coffee. I hope it does a miracle today. Don't you hate it when you have negative thoughts...and for no reason..no basis ... no justification? Maybe its just the fatigue. Cuz I am TIRED. did I mention I was sleepy?
ok bear this in mind just in case one of you invisible people decide to read this crap... that my mind is in a fog.

Today I plan to sit on my butt a lot. oh wait, I do that a lot anyway. I mean I don't feel very productive. Its april 1.... I wonder if there will be an april fools joke today? Wish I could think of something to play on the wife, but hey I can hardly think at all anyway.

I sure hope I get woke up. I wonder why I seem to always have to face "trust issues".? the way I was raised... or my career. Seems I don't trust anyone... for no good reason. ok my eyes are so heavy, and my brain just will not work. im going to go stand outside... or call someone and wake em up....to talk.

coffee/potty break is one long day.

today is a nice day I think... its about 56 deg, and a high of 75. at the moment its thundering and a light shower. which is unusual for Oklahoma. Its usually either spew forth hell and brimstone tornadic weather, or its drought... but this is a gentle rain with not much wind. Wont see the log chain that's tied to the gate post blowing in the wind this morning. not yet.

My morning was interrupted by an invitation to breakfast... I didn't eat since Ive gained 8 pounds. Im feeling for the development of a blow hole on my back, but since im too fat to feel all the way around.. I cant say ones not there yet. I have not however, blown out any backs of my shirts from and outward pressure...my pants maybe.

So I drank 4 cups of coffee...add that to the one I had driving to work, and presto...Ive peed 6 times since. and not little bits...but coffee can amounts. coffee just pours through me. Maybe Ive found a new way to lose weight... it has to weigh something. Ill let ya know. good thing no one reads this crap, they might be grossed out.

things are slow at work, ive stopped only one person...just a warning. wasn't going fast enough for a ticket. besides she was cute. lol. So I ate lunch, Ill spare you the details..

Im still scheming on pouring some concrete.. I want that garage/shop. things are well at home.. im excited due to a certain situation changing... wife has been very loving and kind... im genuinely surprised.

the cows are good. familys good... barn roof patched. that kid s coming in good for something. Id write more but I think I have to freakin pee again. what will it be like to be old? lets not even think of it. off to catch a traffic offense. what an exciting life! yay me!

Perspectives with feelings are like sucker fishys

goodmorning invisible world. Since the world is invisible from here, theres no use in correcting my words and typing here right? Funny how perspective changes everything. from my keyboard, the world out there is invisible because my stats tell me no one is looking. There fore.... it s invisible.
I was thinking... I do that sometimes... that with different perspectives come different feelings. For example... if you feel things... when you see or hear something familiar, like say...a voice that uses a certain tone... and it reminds you of a bad time in your past...because  you've heard that tone before... and then poof, you have feelings... that come ... feelings that you have to deal with. I see this as a perspective... this is how you see (or in this case heard) it... and since you see it this way... you feel a certain way. I see "feelings" like those little sucker fishes that attach themselves to a BIG fish... they just come with it... big fish comes... they come too. SO.... IF you could change your perspective.. you could have different feelings! In other words, you could change your feelings and not have to deal with those yucky feelings that take up so much of your time.... Instead of dealing with feelings so much every time you see or hear something.... change your perspective ONE time... for good... and poof. IF anyone is reading this... and wants to know how to do this...or know more of it...than maybe  you will make a comment, and the world will cease to be invisible for me here at my keyboard. My perspective will change...and thus.... I will feel different about blogging.

The sun is up in my little town where I work. I have made one stop before the sun came up... I just wanted to see the pretty police lights come on in the dark. ha. Things are better today...not as good as they were, but better.

It is going to about sunny and about 60 deg today. I gambled and wore long sleeves. I heard the rooster this morning, and it reminded me of "home". With that, came feelings... I miss certain things. (theres that perspective thing again). So Ill have to remember that although I like the sound of a rooster, I hated living alone alone alone in the remote country. Once I change that... ill smile each time I hear the rooster... and I wont miss the country... because I will instantly remember what it was like ....isolated, lonely, empty, pointless, and a waste of my life. (if I could ve shared it now..with someone...that would have been different, but for some reason God did not have that planned for me.)

Well, I better run. I know morning traffic is speeding. I can feel it. lol. later all yall invisible  peeps!

ugh again.

I am not quite sure what to say this morning. This was not a good weekend. My words will not be very uplifting, so they will be few and to the point today.

I pray for wisdom and patience. I hope for the best. If I am wrong, I just have to say I am wrong. It is better to say it sooner than later... for ones pride will cause a problem. Pride goes before a fall.

The weather here is is clear and 34 deg. It will get up to about 62 deg today. It is a Monday... and it promises to be a long boring one. Today I will finish up the application for new jobs. Im going to try a few doors and see if they open.

that is about all I have to say today. I pray God works. There are times God needs to be GOD. Start with me...im open.

hurry hurry ....id rather be a good dog.

its another windy windy day in Oklahoma. SE Oklahoma is an ever changing place. its one of the fascinating parts of living here. y ou really never can tell w hat the weather is going to be. Yesterday finally picked up, and I made a few stops. It was nice to have the boredom broken up... I helped an old man that ran out of gas right in the middle of the state highway in an intersection. Boy was he backing up traffic. we pushed the truck out to the shoulder... and I gave him a ride back to his other truck where he could go get some gas. He said...boy  you guys are sure nice...yesterday I locked myself out of my truck and that other officer got it unlocked for me. lol. He did not have a good couple of days. maybe today will be a better day for him.

It was a nice evening last night... But I notice I am not getting a lot done due to a lack of energy after I get home.  working 10 days may interfere with my lawn care this summer when the grass gets to going. I have already noticed that there is grass growing around the pool area so I need to get on that this weekend.

today is 39 degrees...with a high of about 65. I wore long sleeves... I hope that wasn't a mistake. Life is good but very busy. That is a good thing. Im learning to live with all the clutter and stuff stacked up and around. Im hoping that after a couple of weddings are over....ha.... that we can really start to organize and clean up. Im really hoping to get that garage built.... hoping......

Goals are like that...your not happy until you achieve them, and then once you do... you just cant help yourself...you just have to set another one. lol. humans are the most unsatisfied creatures ever. Id rather be a dog with a good home....and just lounge around and play and be happy. woof woof.

so anyway...that's about all I have to say today... Heres to good happy dogs. Miss ya Sparky!

MEMORIES OF COUNTRY LIVING.

GOOD MORNING UNKNOWN PEEPS. IM NOT YELLING,, I JUST CANT F IGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE THE FONTS BIGGER ON THIS SILLY THING. SO CAPPS IT IS.
I MISSED A GOOD SUNSET LAST NIGHT... I KNOW AT THE RANCH, I NEVER MISSED ONE... THEY WERE SO GOOD THERE. NOW I LIVE AT A PLACE WHERE YOU CANT SEE A GOOD SUNSET. I THINK THATS WHAT I MISS THE MOST. BUT I DO NOT MISS THE LONELY TIMES... TAKING WALKS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT....BY MOONLIGHT.. TALKING WITH GOD...ABOUT WHAT I AM DOING THERE YEAR AFTER YEAR ALONE. IT WAS MY TIME IN THE "WILDERNESS"...

I NOW QUESTION WHAT I AM DOING FOR A LIVING. I LIKE THE JOB OK I MEAN... BUT THE HOURS ARE MANY. I GET UP AT 5 AM... ITS HARD. BUT HEY THEY ARE DAY TIME HOURS. IM OFF AT 5... WEEKENDS OFF. MAYBE I SHOULDNT BE TOO DISCONTENT.  STILL I AM PRAYERFUL ABOUT THIS. I KNOW GOD IS A JUST GOD. I KNOW HE WILL TAKE CARE OF WHAT NEEDS TAKING CARE OF... I KNOW HE WILL TAKE CARE OF ME. I AM THANKFUL. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THANKFUL.

I HEAR A ROOSTER CROW EACH MORNING..IN THE NIGHT HOURS. AT MY NEW HOME.. IT REMINDS ME OF THE COUNTRY LIVING I CAME FROM. IT MAKES ME SMILE. I HOPE THAT OLD ROOSTER LASTS FOREVER. I NEED TO T HINK ABOUT GETTING A BULL NOW... BUT I AM DELAYED FINANCIALLY... AS KT IS RACKING UP A FEW WEDDING BILLS. ITS OK... ILL GET THERE EVENTUALLY.
SO CROW ROOSTER CROW.... SCREAM YOUR HEAD OFF ELVIS. I USED TO HAVE A ROOSTER NAMED ELVIS. HE WAS PRETTY AND BLACK..AND WELL GROOMED. HE STOOD ON THE BACK PORCH AND "SANG" TO ME.I WAS USED TO HIM..BUT THE FEW VISITORS I HAD WERE NOT. HA. THEY LEFT. BUT ELVIS LEFT THE BUILDING A LONG TIME AGO. SO SING ON ROOSTER... BRING ME MEMORIES OF THE COUNTRY TIMES NOW PAST.

SO LEAD ME LORD, OPEN A DOOR... IF YOU WANT ME TO GO THRU IT... SHOW IT TO ME SO I CAN JIGGLE THE KNOB..SEE IF IT MOVES. ILL DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT .. IM OPEN TO IT. HECK LOOK AT ME NOW. NOW LETS MAKE SOME COFFEE, AND MEDITATE IN YOUR LIGHT. NOTHING IS BETTER THAN THAT..ONCE YOU LEARN TO DO IT. IT BRING SUCH PEACE, NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE. ITS A SECRET OF THE ...NINJA SORTA... KNOWLEDGE LIKE THAT MEANS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOING INSANE, AND BREEZING THROUGH HARD TIMES. ITS WHAT MAKES AN OAK ...AN OAK TREE....IT HANGS ON. WEATHERS THINGS OUT. REMAINS SOLID. NO PROBLEM. SO YOU CAN CALL ME CAPT SUNDANCE. HA.

SO CAPT SUNDANCE NEEDS CAFFIENE... IF THERE IS ANYONE OUT THERE STILL ALIVE THAT READS T HIS MESS I WRITE, PLEASE PRAY. I KNOW IM DOING WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO FOR NOW...BUT NOT FOREVER. IM LOOKING FOR CHANGES. FOR A DOOR. SHOW ME THE DOOR LORD! NOW LETS HAVE COFFEE, FB TIME, AND GO WRITE A FEW TICKETS.

Each heartbeat....with change.

well...things are getting back to norman... I mean normal. But I think I like norman better. this weekend was good... things were warm and loving ... and it was a nice time. It is cold..29 deg when I got to the car. But Im in short sleeves..and getting used to the cold now. its that time of year when its 80 in the day...and 29 in the mornings. I did not go to the farm now...this weekend for the 2nd week in a row now. I have to loosen up a bit there... and trust kt to keep things in order there.

Its getting closer to the time when I will be working on the yard..the pool, etc... I have projects left over from last  year to finish. that wall of stone... I must finish before its too hot.

so it is a good time again... If I just wait things out... the times of life will change. for good or for worse. for better or for poor. and all that happily ever after crap. I have been singing in the choir.. its a big church..and I am poorly qualified to sing amidst the talent I am surrounded by there. But I fill a chair and look the part anyway. The last time I was in the choir, I was so young, I peed my pants while singing. Hey its a lot of pressure for a little kid to leave the choir during church to go pee. sooo.. But I promise I wont do that again. Now if I can only remember to zip. Pam has a wonderful voice. I sure like to stand next to her in church and hear her sing. So its a good time in my life. I remember the last post... not so good. If I can just remember when things are not so good... in fact BAD.. that things do change. Each heartbeat can bring a bit of change with it. Sometimes its just hard to see around the corner... and have that kind of hope. Sometimes the corners are years...and sometimes just 5 minutes. But still ...w/o hope, it is a dark dismal place to be. funny how little hope it takes. all you need is a bit of it. it sure goes a long way with the human spirit. That's the thing that the devil must attack.... that sense of hope. People can sure believe a lot for a long time, with just alittle hope. hope...maybe produces faith. Im not sure..what do you think? I never thought about that much. maybe faith produces hope... either way... you must have both...and both go so very far.

Soon the flowers will bloom and the grass will be green, and the tornadoes will come again. I have no storm shelter at this place. ugh. I have plans..but its money. I suppose God will provide when He chooses to. I plan to pour concrete...and build a garage. I think Ill ask God to make this happen for me. Change is coming... but it seems it always does. Someday..ill live for thousands of years..w/o change. and life will be perfect. perfect harmony, perfect peace, perfect order, and everything in its rightful place. I for one will love it. crap...there is no Kleenex in this place. see what I mean? At least I have chocolate here.!

So whatever the world brings..and it is just full of bringing something all the time.. Ill let the world be the world... Ill spice it up as I can, with alittle bit of Jesus in it... and try not to growl to much... and be "mr. grumpy pants" as I was once called.... and continue doing what I can with what I have... until such time as I can leave this world, and go to my perfect order place. Let us not fret and worry, but neither let us ignore what goes on here either. Someday Ill lost my right to worship..and to free speech... someday America may fall. I hope I do not see that day. But things I know will get worse before they are better. I hope my children do not see that day either. But life will be what it is. I trust my God, and they must also trust Him.

So for now... let us rejoice! Let us smile, let us be thankful always in all things. good and bad. Let His presence in our lives overshadow all chaos. Maybe we can even find alittle bit of humor in it along the way. Life is good.... today. this heartbeat. lol. don't sneeze!!

the hardest weekend

Well ... its Monday. This has been the hardest weekend ever. Problems since last Thursday. It was the worst time of my life. So... t his is a hard weekend. I am not quite sure what to say this morning. The time change occurred .. so its like 5 am instead of 6 am... but I supposed Ill get used to it. I smoked my pipe yesterday...first time in 8 months. It wasn't all that good. 

My prayer is for intervention. I think nothing less than God Himself intervening in our lives will save the situation that He led us into. I know that He has never let me down...and I expect nothing less than that this time either. I don't call him "Savior" for nothing.

I am not sure what else to write. Jack is doing well at kcs. We celebrated her bday...we ate at polos. Kt seems to be doing well. I didn't hear from her t his weekend... and did not go out to the farm.

Sometimes ...like now... I feel just like my old tree. It didn't make it ...

ugh.

Today should be...by all rights...a good day. its Friday. its going to be good weather with sunshine. But this morning was a rough start. This is a bad morning for me. I cannot go into detail... for I am not sure just how public this is.... even though there are apparently  no readers... I would not want to be disrespectful to anyone. So I will just say, this is going to be a long day... without much communication with the wife.

I am praying today while at work. Maybe something will happen...something good. I hope so.

getting used to change!

Gm invisible world. I just know your out there. Im not sure if I wrote this before, but a week or so ago, I was pulled over. Exactly... me the traffic cop.... in my poe-leece car, was pulled over by a citizen who  promptly told me that I had a brake light out. lol. I asked them if this was a warning or am I getting a ticket.? ha. I fixed the light quick.

It rained last night... and will be warmer today. about 52 deg they say.... but there is still snow in the forecast in a few days. Weather here is always interesting at the change of seasons. march can do anything, and I remember it snowing in april...

Soon it will be time to mow the stupid yards... I hope my "renters" keep my place looking nice back home. Its pre coffee and my mind is foggy...so ill make this one short and sweet. Things are good at home..and this transition seems to be getting alittle bit smoother... seems the new step daughter will be moving out sooner than I thought... when the new house is closed end of the month, She will be getting started moving.  I hope the two big dogs go too! lol.

It will be different. its amazing how my life changed so much so fast...when for 13 years it didn't change a bit. Even though I sought change... and prayed for it....it didn't happen. I began to doubt if it was ever going to happen. I just knew deep down inside that there was an "around the corner" for me. I just couldn't see around it. But when it came...and this is what you need to remember...when it came... IT CAME! and bam.... big changes fast and furious. Im still adapting. sometimes I cant believe I have a wife! I live in Latta. I now have 2 homes. I have dogs. I have a pool. things are so different... But they are better. I wont forget how lonely it was for so long. and how I prayed... how I wished and thought and dreamed.... of a new life... with someone suitable to share it with. a partner. Im very proud to say I have one now. sometimes the old me flares up...but I get on track quick. I short out less and less.... anxiety is lower and lower. Im starting...ever so slowly to feel more comfortable...in my new life. Life is either on the way to change....or is changing.... always. If your life has not changed lately....get ready...its on the way.  Seek and you will find.

Im thankful. Keep praying. Smile.

still good ...even when its muddied up abit.

Well the roads are mostly clear today. still some signs of snow around... and you can kiss your ass goodbye if you step in a slick spot. It is currently 19 deg F. Last night was a blur... my back hurt a lot yesterday and into the night. Apparently I snored and groaned a lot last night....  and poof. It was time to get up and start again. Seems such a waste of time doesn't it? Makes you wonder why were even here ...whats the purpose? I guess to do good, enjoy the fruits of labor,... and be thankful unto God... in all things.... and pray about it all. that's my summarized version. In other words, we are biding our time until we can go home. We are like... ET... left here. But He will come back and get us. Ever see the similarities in the  movie ET and Jesus? Each came from the heavens. Each was very different and unique. Each healed people while here.. each did wondrous things while interacting with humans, each made us think...from a different perspective... each became wounded ....each came to life and got better....each went back to the heavens. interesting huh?

So it seems that life is just one long long huge ass transition. or change.  all the same to me. sometimes transitions are smooth and orderly, but mine seem to be sloppy ...not graceful, and abit chaotic. I like things in order....so I work until they are acceptable to me. I wonder if life as I see it, will ever be just right? In order. ducks in a row. I guess it is a good thing having something else to do.. another goal. it means im still alive. As long as I can be happy in the moment of it.... right now. not later after I acquire whatever im wanting done.... but right now...while Im doing it. happy every heartbeat, whether things are well...smooth ...or whether they are not. chaotic. I guess that's just the way life is. Even when we get the thing that seems to satisfy us.....we seem to somehow track it up.. muddy it up.... step in it,.... and just somehow make it not quite as satisfying. But even then I must learn to enjoy that..... if I don't, then just what is the use? Ill be like Solomon.... and be depressed to even breath oxygen. ha.

Enjoy it... even if you see it get messed up. a door ding on the new car. gray in your beard. life going by. babies are adults. change. transition. Enjoy each heartbeat of the moment... because your life is made up of heartbeats. moments. memories. make them good. focus on the good. not the mud.

on the way to work I spilled my coffee. It was warm. it was wet. I put a blanket I found in the back seat of the etruck over it and me... it happened. I enjoyed the rest of my coffee.

Be happy. lonely will end if you move. Change... transisiton. embrace it...its coming anyway. the only way to end loneliness is to make a change. Even t he most peaceful enticing things...can make you miserable...if its lonely. Trust. Trust that God has this....and step out. If you stay put... well. you know the answer to that.

have a great Tuesday oh invisible world!

how do you get frozen juice out??

Good morning peeps... I say peeps because it sounds so impersonal... and since I know there s no one out there that reads this mess I type... well then peeps is good for me. I had a good weekend..i can see good positive changes in both her and I, and this transition of marriage after being single for so many years is just a tad smoother. I have my reasons why I believe this is going this way, but Ill keep those to myself. IT was a very very cold start at 5 degrees with snow and a bit of ice. We had Thunder snow or ThunderIce... last night. Only in Oklahoma... does it thunder, and snow /sleet at the same time. its like a cross between a thunderstorm and a snow storm all in one.

Everyone knows that Im such a retard in the kitchen.. I swear I do everything awkwardly and mostly wrong in the kitchen. I can manage to open a can  (with my manual opener not t he auto matic one .. which is the can opener from hell) and stir ..the simple things. I decided I would help her mix up frozen orange juice. I asked how... she said.... really?  your 52 yrs old and you never mixed frozen juice? nope...never. now why would I? I just buy the stuff already made in a carton or jug or something.  so anyway... I looked at this tube of frozen stuff to be put in a pitcher and then fill it with 3 thingys of water and mix. ok. cool. first problem. it would not come out of the tube container. hmm. I squeezed it. nothing. it was partially thawed.. let me think. GOT it..! ill poke a hole in th eother end ..it should come right out. I poked 3. it did come right out. but when I filled the tube thingy with water 3 times... it of course leaked out the 3 holes. alittle messy.... wonder how its supposed to be done? I held myfinger of the h oles and did it anyway. My first frozen juice accomplishment! She made fun of me until I reminded her that she helped me in the shop as I was putting gas in the log splitter... she handed me an empty can of gas...and I suggested how about the one with gas in it? But I really think shes more at home in the shop than I am in the kitchen.

dogs dogs dogs. I knew she had them when I married them... but they were never so under my feet before! theres odie...whos personality is just like his name... and ky-ann... whos the biggest pain in the ass ever... part husky I think...very vocal...but kind of entertaining... and scout an aging long haired little dog, and then the old man...peanut..whos about 13 yrs old . a weenie dog. he doesn't see so well, and has some bad days. His worst characteristic is he pees everywhere on everything. If I could get away with it..Id have 4 deep holes dug in the back yard...no...in someone elses back  yard... and poof. but oh well. In may...ill lose the 2 biggest ones... as they go with the stepdaughter getting married.

So when I cut wood on sat at the ranch and split some... I guess my new chain saw pooted out on me. I have to take it in and see what the deal is. Get a couple of sharp chains too. It was a good workout, but there is plenty of tree left in that old oak. now my back hurts... this getting old crap really sucks. Good thing no one speeds in this town when theres snow on the hwy...I can hardly get out of the stupid squad car!

ok enough of this... my world is getting better. I can see a hope for happiness now. I function so much better with someone then w/o someone. I have hay left. the cows are good. I have new lick out. things are good. well mostly good. most of the problems I have come from within myself... I  cause them. So I can eliminate them.

that's about it in my world. winter is about to end....taking its time... and spring will bring the tornadoes.... lets do this!
later!

yay me.

gm all yall. that's okie for hey.
well yesterday was to o busy to type about. its 6 am ish.... so I have a bit of time today. Maybe itll slow up today. Yesterday I had speeders that cussed me out..course they bought the ticket...and a fat woman that sat down in the floor of her house and couldn't get up... and lets not mention how she somehow avoided not sitting on a dog turd... yes it was that nasty.  I had a controlled burn... in other words a fire in the city limits. I couldn't get the fire chief...ha... to answer. so I went out and looked it over myself. before giving the owner permission to light it.... wondering if it was a huge brush pile..or a tiny one. it was sorta medium. I thought well...he has a water hose there. So I told him to lighter up...and call 911 if it got out of hand. I didn't mention that he was in a wheelchair did I? maybe he didn't park a wheel on the hose.... I didn't hear from anyone and did not see a lot of smoke.. so it must of been ok. I stopped a guy the other day.... but somehow lost his license! I looked everywhere...I noted it was going to expire in 2 days.. I had to tell the driver u.mmmmm... I hate to tell you this...but ...your DL is....well... gone. I wetn to the station and searched the car...I finally found the edge of a DL sticking up! I finally got it...and gave it to the driver... who said..."this is great..but its not mine". I never did find that fellas DL...but seems I did find the chief of police in stonewall, ok.'s DL... it was his. what are the chances? maybe if I make enough mistakes...Ill grown into the best small town cop ever. lol. Then I had a meeting....with the chief. for once I am not in trouble... someone else is having "growing pains" ...its about time .. im tired of my spankins. maybe ive grown into a full fledged traffic cop that needs little or no direction (except for losing DLs while sitting still in my squad car)... yay me. I also vacuumed the car out... and today I get to clean the vinyl dash. yay me again!

this dang curser has jumped to different places 3 times already. wonder what s up with that. So.. I said my prayers, I ate my oats...thanks to my little wifey who got up late but made it anyway. bless her little heart... and I have lunch in a sack! yay wife! ok yay is the buzz word today. its Friday! yay Friday! its pay day!! yay money! I love you yay yay yay. okok. too much caffeine. I swear it was only one cup. a big cup.

sigh. I guess I should go now, and finish the important inner office work... and do the criminal minds game on FB... I have mysteries to solve. My butt cheeks are sore. Maybe it was because of the vacuuming I did in the car? hmmm. Idk.... or maybe the getting in and out of the car so much.

Anyway... have a great day... its going to be cold the weekend... and maybe ice. Im running very low on hay. maybe itll last thru this long neverending winter. itll be close. I need to buy more lick this weekend. almost out of that too. one more tub should do it. things at the ranch are ok... fences are up. kt seems to be taking care of the home well. and james seems to be looking after the rest. he put out hay for me too. Were busy and tired ..when we get home from work. I made myself vacuum the house last night, but I was dead tired. I hear it thundering outside.  I guess its gonna rain.

that's my life in Oklahoma. later!

gm ..a usual start to the day.

good morning invisible peeps. I see I had ONE viewer on yesterdays blog. yay me! lol. Maybe they read something worth while, and got a perspective on something that will help them some how. probably not. lol

today has promising outlook... I made my first stop already this morning. its sun shine...but very cold at 19 deg this morning. its an 8 to 5 day today...so im hoping it will pass qu ickly.. and Ill enjoy the day. Ill have to get gas to finish the day in the squad car today. In case you haven't p icked up on it... I am currently working as a traffic police officer in a small town.

I have nothing too new to write about... just the usual grind of life. I swear this cursor has a life of its own...it just jumps from this line to a whole other part of the page...and starts typing there... I have to correct it and put it back and keep typing... must be something in this lap top ...the way I lay my hands on it... that causes it or something. Anyway... I plan to be thankful for all I see and do, and be loving to those around me as much as possible. While I write speeding citations.

I promise to write something more interesting later. lol.
this is todays start in Oklahoma... later!

zombie day.

good morning invisible peeps. today was a rough start. Seems I had alittle chest pain... course it was some kind of indigestion ... I woke up in the middle of my 5 hours sleep... hurting.. felt like I had swallowed a bubble and it wouldn't burp up into little ones. that lasted about 2 hours. geesh. all I ate yesterday evening was a bacon burger, fries and a malt. chocolate of course.  Youd think my stomach would be better at this...rather then worse! I used to eat a bag of burgers... now I eat one and my stomach screams in fear. Im gonna have to have alittle talk with that little green man in there that runs things inside of you. Hes pullin the wrong levers or something. Anyway, I drove to town semi conscious. good thing my wife talked to me on the way to work, or I would've fallen asleep. !

Ive decided these automatic cars..like mine..that turns on the headlights and does it all for you... IF you have the fob in your pocket...are for zombies. cuz I was a zombie... all I did was push the button to start...(im sure the button said "zombie") and it starts. it turns the lights on...sets the temperature, and all I do is steer. course I give it some gas. and when I exit...the car that is.... it turns it all off. zombie!

so here I am after 3 hours... and 4 cups of coffee. hope im conscious today at 1 when the drug dog gets here. were gonna run it through the school today and see what interesting things happen. Had another one of those "transitional"  talks last night.... I know her back hurts a lot.

Well ive played all my energy points in criminal case. so im off to paint the town with speeding tickets.

today has a sucky start

well its been a few days. the last 4 days I was in t town...getting all trained up on how to tell if your drunk enough to arrest when ur driving. turns out that when the class title says "wet lab" it means wet bar...and you get to interact and test real drunks. it was interesting. she came with me... which made things much nicer. we stayed at a motel, which made it expensive, but it was a mini get away, and she shopped and we did see her son there while we were there.

today is a down day. things happened and words spoken that hurt. Ill let that stand for itself. Its a depressing time..this Monday. The valentine roses are dead and thrown away... the special words on the cart don't mean as much today as they did a week ago. my day started early... and it was a lonely start. Its a day of thought and prayer.. at least for me it is.

I saw mandy yesterday. she was a happy kitty. the cows were good. Ruthann looked good. the fences are up. it was a nice day ... hay is out. I checked the lick..its getting low. ill need another soon. I don't have a lot more to say... soon it should start raining. I hope. If it does not...I may just sell out of the cow business...for good. Its a lot of work, to have drought kicking my ass too.

At least I got coffee this morning. I would say this sad start to the day would mean I would stop typing and spreading all this freaking sunshine around here...but what else would I do sitting in this small "police station".  just sit here? I could turn the tv on I guess. I could go pour a cup of coffee. wait.. ok. I poured it. when it warms up a bit, ill go get gas in the work car. I noticed it was low. kc went to the circus ....she won tickets on the radio station. she was f unny. she sent me pictures of elephants. she loves elephants for some reason. any way it was funny.  I know she was excited.

ok ill find something else to do. this is my life today in Oklahoma... maybe this Monday will improve.

can you believe my life now?

GM peeps. Actually Im talking to myself, as there is no longer anyone that views this. But hey, I talked to myself for years right? sometimes they were pretty good conversations. except when that one high pitched voice started answering me. man he was irritating.

So my lovely bride accidently slept in and did not fix me oats for breakfast. man. I knew that would happen. But she did get up when I came into the room after showering to dress, and fixed me coffee. I had a couple of choc chip muffins instead. It was ok. She tries hard. Im l ucky to have her. and shes lucky to have me ... yeah. yeah that's it. ok enough of that or the voices may come back. ha.

well I made it to work. I work alone... mostly. And that is not so bad anymore. Im getting used to it. I just have to remember to be flexible and no t get to used to my little agenda here. Im glad all Ive run into is a few traffic speeders, and a lost dog or two... little stuff.

Sometimes I cant believe my life. I so remember the many many times I was near without hope of change. I knew it could change, but it hadn't in so many  years... that it was just hard to see "around the corner". I knew...that when it came to other people...it just took longer for God to prepare things.
And then when it happens...you wonder why He decided to put  you with this person...who is really very different than you are. Im thankful He didn't put me with someone just l ike me. can you imagine what a bore that would be? and how that might turn out? But instead there are differences. some big, some small. But I will accept and appreciate those differences. And I will allow them to complete my life. They can counter balance me. I can use her strengths in areas that I am weak in. If we were weak in the same areas, it would be such a struggle. I choose to trust her. Trust is a huge word. Its action.

I went out to the car and unlocked it... as usual the alarm goes off.... until I can get the key in the ignition and turn it on. Wish I could find the fob that goes with the car.... I called myself in as 10-8. Maybe I will brew a pot of coffee. I downloaded a few marriage pics... maybe Ill play with them.

Ill be going tonight to Tulsa to take 3 days of training classes. Luckily my wife...(yes my wife!) will be going with me. Im so lucky. Shes taking off work just to be with me.... maybe we can make a fun thing out of it. Ill try my hand at inserting a pic of her and I getting married.

I think it worked. My my... how life has changed for me. If your reading this ..and you have read my past blogs ...since around 2009.... and you read of my ups and downs, and heartaches and  hopeless thoughts...saturated with a bit of humor here and there...then you know... how my life has changed. If mine can change....so can yours. something to think about.

Val weekend ended

Its hard to believe it when it is so good. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Usually when I do this, eventually the shoe does drop. So I think this time I will fool the powers that be, and expect it to continue on. no shoe dropping here. Only good times, warm and fuzzy love yous. And money coming my way. yeah.

Im sitting here semi conscious in the wee morning hours before daylight. that would be 634 am to all yall that don't know it... ive had one cup, but apparently need more of a kick. I just don't wanna pee all freaking day long. I wonder if coffee does this to anyone else? 

ok back now... I have this little lap top... and if you are typing along at warp speed, suddenly for no reason, it will do something...and it happens so fast... you cant stop it. Suddenly I was outside and off of my blog...and finally found my way back. Luckily, the program here saved this as a draft so I didn't have to start over. My laptop is possessed.

Over the weekend, we "dog sat". its not enough...that we have 2 large dogs of the step daughters, and 2 little dogs of the wifes... but we dogsat a great dane, and a small terrior of some sort. The dane was.. well.. buffalo like...and the little dog had this screechy little irritating laugh. It was a high pitched grate on your nerves kind of thing. I wonder why the owners hasn't c ut its screechy little throat yet? They were ok I guess... but they did not play well with the other 2 big dogs. None of them understand that when the mini buffalo barks, its playing... not fighting. It was semi entertaining. There were no "accidents" in the house, so that is good. So.. dogs out... truck gone... and a nice church service. I swear the preacher was actually funny when he spoke about marriage. After all it was the valentines day sermon. What I remember the most was him saying....Accept each others differences. Differences can work together for the good. Embrace them. They can complete what is not within you alone....to complete. I hope that made sense. I thought about that... and I think he is right. I wondered why God put me with someone so different than me. Mr. Structure by the rules at home.... with ms gypsy easy come easy go at home. ugh.  But I am going to let go and Trust Him and watch Him work this. This should be good.

We went to the Val dance. I bought her ONE drink. that's it. It must of been strong. I knew she was over the limit, when while we were dancing she grabbed my hand and put it on her ass, and then farted while she giggled. Yep. toast. not my hand... her. Yep..toasted after one drink. ill have to be a better care taker than that. She did get me a nice very loving and sweet Vday card. with red boxers. and what followed was nice too. ha.

The weather has changed, and its very nice now. in the 60s. Im glad of that... supposed to be nice all week long. Nothing huge happened to me.... but it was a very nice loving weekend. I needed that. I a sure she did too. Her parents were recognized for being married 65 years. That's longer than I am old. I guess it would behoove me to learn from him. When I commented to him, he leaned over and whispered "its a lot of work"... I thought... dang it. no secrets of the ninja married here...

its about time to go out and set the car alarm off. Someone lost the "fob" to the cop car, so each time I unlock the car it goes off. So every morning, anyone around gets to hear this horn going off. IT lasts just long enough for me to start it...then goes off.  I found one fob, and put a new battery in it, but as luck would have it, it was the OTHER cop car... so he don't have to hear his horn now.

Lets tackle this Monday, and conquer all. God go with me.

angry little blue birds

Yesterday was a good day, except for one little problem I had. I  decided that I would take the cop car to the car wash... it was a nice sunny day, so I went and acquired some quarters from city hall. The car wash was a simple thing in this small town. It had one switch. it said R ... W. Rinse Wash. I thought this was funny... and then I dropped all my quarters. I picked them up, and when I raised up, I hit my head on the metal coin thingy. I thought ..that was a stupid move sundance, and fed the coins in. It hurt fairly bad as I noticed the little blue birds flying around my head around the edge of the fog which was affecting my vision. The little turd birds were tweeting.."thats what you get for making fun of the car wash". I was ok with all this... until as I was washing the car... blood dripped over my sunglasses into my eye. Then I was pissed. I had to waste the quarters and abandon my car wash effort. I leaned over....and walked to the nearest office nearby... and found a small room where I washed up. Took for freakin ever to stop the bleeding. But no stitches. yay. I only got about 3 drops of blood on my uniform. another yay. It could've been worse. Ill remember RW when I use that the next time. dang I wasted a whole page on a split head tale...

Yesterdays total was 1 citation and 4 warnings. Today.. is going to be a very nice day weather wise.. and its pay day to boot. Its also Valentines day. I thought I had it all covered, getting 5 sets of val thingys.complete with little stuffed bears... and ordered roses for the wife to be delivered today at her work. But, I discovered I FORGOT to get a stupid card. I hope I can get a stupid card somewhere in this small town. I hope. Tonight should be fun.... steak.. dancing... and...well. If were not too tired. lol.

I tried to sing church choir music on the way in..i have some CDs that are the songs we will be singing in choir. Maybe I can actually learn the words.

Im thinking that I am liking this job pretty good. I am p raying about a job in my home town even though its only 24 miles here to this town to work. It would be cool to be local. Then I could have lunch sometimes with the wife...and run errands if I needed to.

I had one cup of coffee.. maybe Ill make a pot and have another. Im cutting down to about 2 cups instead of 4 or 5... per day here. I think I have ceased to be much of an entertainment to the central dispatch and scanner "listeners"... as Im making fewer mistakes on the radio. I no longer call in my location to them with unknown streets.... or id myself as "Allen 8". There is no 8. this is a 3 officer force. lol. So ill keep being Allen 3.

ok. I think ive caught up on the usual stuff that has happened. I wish I could get some pics on this puter so I could insert one now and then. Ill work on that. I like to use the pics I personally have taken..

I see im alone in cyber land. it appears no one has viewed me lately. Ill have to start being funny or something to catch an audience. They are missing out...I could be somebody really famous ya know. That's about all I have for this morning. Im glad I have this place to share my thoughts and start my day out. Ive talked to God, and Im ready to keep on in this direction...whatever direction that is. Im happy to be married , and have my partner to share everything with.  I remember many many nights and days...cold... no one to snuggle to... or talk to. Now to find ways to improve what I have ... if I can.
that's how it is in Oklahoma today.