The Process.

the process. it takes a while to get your head around it. this whole thing we call life... and the process of aging. I remember when I was young,.. I used to see older people... and I thought, poor guy, he is so old. I didn't really  have the time to "do" old. and although I was polite.... I really didn't see them as that important. I knew of course that they were young once, but I never stopped to think just who were they...back when they were young. when they were my age. and now....

and now, I get that look from other  younger people. I remember that look. I am quickly dismissed. Although in my mind, I am still young... I am still strong, in their eyes, I am old. I am not so important. They don't wonder who I am, or who I was. The experiences I had, the lives I touched, the things I stood for, all.... almost as though they never happened. Almost. Once in a great while, someone from the past greets me, and talks to me about something I did or said that affected them.

Then poof. I am a grandpa. Ive heard that term for so long. for many years. Its an old man term. But I am so proud.. to actually BE one. Now I have what I consider to be my grandson...my step grandson, little Noah... hes 3 years old. And he is the perfect little fella... but this time I want to talk about Little Chasen Wade. Yes I thought he should've been Chasen Andrew, but oh well. Its the end of the line for McKinzies. No more family name of Andrew. No more McKinzies. Im proud to have had two such wonderful daughters...but alas they will both someday undoubtedly be married and take a new name. So ...not even an "Andrew". sigh. oh well. But I will embrace this aging thing.... for what else can I do? I must think and feel many of the things the "oldies" of my youth, that I used to observe, thought and felt.

Then I look into my grandsons eyes.

I wonder how those "oldies" felt and thought, when they looked into their first grandsons eyes for the first time?

YOu know...today I climbed 3 flights of stairs about 6 times. I feel very blessed to of been able to do this, as it is just a small part of what I do at work. I spent a lot of time on top of a building. More climbing. Those old AC units are so demanding I swear.  Sometimes I think my left knee will just blow up...and sometimes I think its my right one. lol. I figure Ill just bee bop along, and when something on me goes *bangboom* then it will.  I guess "they" felt that way too. and every student at that university looks at me for a split second, and disappears into themselves.... just like I did so many years ago.

I wonder what the sunset looked like tonight? I wonder what I am missing...? I want to experience everything....and not miss a thing. Im hungry to .....yeah I guess they felt that way too.

Hello Chasen....