Monday, March 19, 2012

herbal secret mixes

ok..so im getting older. I cut a tree down the other day...and thought suck my own teeth down my throat I was breathing so hard. its been since my old "jack hammer" days since I sucked air that hard! So I decided I better seriously try something new.. and lose some weight. So Herbal Life... yep, I went down and gave away some cash.. for a bottle of this and a bottle of that, and you just pour this and that ina thingy, and hit the "crush ice and make a perfect shake" button. so it should come right out tasting like a freaking "A" butterfinger" shake! So..i drank the mysterious tea that burns the calories right off of you, and coats your "lower intestines where the'" blah blah blah is stored. Ok I kinda drifted off when he told that part... but I re established eye contact quickly, and I dont think he noticed. So.. i dranke the tasty tea, and followed it with a shake. I think that is the first time I ever in my life drank tea, and then chased it witha shake.

I got h\ome just intime to explode all over the crapper..well in it. I swear...my butt made noises that I ve only heard on tv. they kinda left that part out inthe sales pitch. I think some of that "stuff" has been in there since I was a teenager. I think the house will never smell the same, and I may have ruined a perfectly good crapper. Im sure i rusted out the rim.... I wonder if Herbal life has ever been sued for crapper lid replacements??  but I have a month of this stuff....(almost said crap ha.). and Im gonna learn it. Imma be the chef of shitshakes. i mean... umm. dietary vitamin fortified supplements.

Ok so it rained. and its still raining. theyre saying 6 inches??? wth?? comeon oklahoma .... cant you spread this out alittle bit? I hope everything flushes good in flood waters... too bad I didnt manage to get the garden tilled up...before the flood. next year Ill build a small ark...and place it out there.

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