The winter from hell.

Well Im finally coming out of hibernation.. like a fat old bear. I kinda resemble a fat ol bear. Oh Ive shaved and took a bath...ok a shower...so im human like again... Just coming out of the worst coldest winter week Ive ever seen in oklahoma. 2 weeks ago, we had a foot of snow...and it made -12 degrees!! many mornings were around  -8. It was a lot of work. Im thanking the Good Lord that i didnt lose power, as my propane heater was MISSING! lol. I never needed it before, but it was not in the well house! and it was too late of course to buy one. Luckily I had bought a Mr. Buddy heater, and it did save me. I had all kinds of interesting experiences....but again...thanking God... I did not lose one single head of cattle, and I even had a calf born in -8 degrees! You can imagine my surprise when I saw it... she looked like a small buffalo... born big, at around 75 lbs... with thick fur. I guess thats why it survived. We tried to towel her off, but what was on her, was frozen and there was no wiping. Pam named her Elsa...the frozen character... No waterpipes burst, but the barn water froze because I left a hose on it. that caused some problems...but we finally made it through. I ran out of hay, and I was sure I was going to have EXTRA hay left over. I bought 25 more bales...and again, thanking God it was good hay, I got it delivered! I discovered how to "de gel" a tractor, thanks to the Mr. buddy heater.... problems I never had before ever.. and I have since then, bought a block heater too.

 Now its 72 degrees! One of the chickens was so surprised it killed over dead. But just in case, I put an anti biotic in its water. Its been a busy life... and now Im trying to plant a garden..Ive decided I should wait til after easter, so I wont have the dang thing flooded again...seems to happen every time...so now, after easter is my new time to plant. I wont know til I try it. Seems to be my life....but Ive discovered that trying everything is probably not good at this age of the game! I dont recover well or as fast!

Now as this face of oklahoma changes...it seems like that happens about every 24 hours... the weather does too... Today although its 72 deg, the wind has blown now for 2 days at about 25 mph!! This is strong enough to make yoru loggin chains flap in the wind, and if your trying to work outside, it might knock your teeth out. I swear if I was a woman in a dress (or any sub species in a dress these days) Id be naked in 30 minutes! My clothes would just blow off me. Its so windy here, you have to use velcro to keep your clothes on! 

So I got my tiller fixed, and on the tractor... and i have the garden spot all tilled up. Since Its calling for rain this weekend, Ill not make any plans for it til after that. It may be alittle big, so maybe I got carried away.. lol. the rows are 145 ft long and there will be about 15 rows as it is 45 ft wide. I need me one of those little old men that make it look easy to be out there workin that place up, and making it look perfect...No. just dont say it. I refuse to see myself as THAT little old man. Besides I cry after I work it every time, and those old guys seem to shuffle along and make it look perfect.

Between that big calf, and this big boy tractor with heat.... Im proud and blessed! 

So Ive finally taken the controversial vaccine shot, and I get the 2nd one on the 18th. I do not yet have any extra tails, or noses...or...ahem... anything like that., and I had no reaction that I could tell. It was the moderna one..and we shall see what the 2nd one does now. 

I think that kinda updates my life more or less. thank you to all the millions of people..hahahahhaa that is reading this... I just KNOW  youve missed me. Jack says hey....and the stars still twinkle at me...so as long as there is a God that forgives, and food (helps if its good) and just a few friends that love me no matter what I do,  and grandchildren...oh and sunsets... Ill be good.

messed up world. messed up country.

 well theres been alot of changes this year so far. A new president...that I have nothing good to say about...and lots of other things. Calf prices have stayed up for the first time since I can remember, right through the winter! Sold some the other day.  They paid for a new tiller, that goes on the back of the tractor. Boy am I fancy now! im in Tall cotton!!  I tilled up a new patch that Im hoping will be my new garden. 

Im also putting in new duct work in the attic... so the heat is off, and a new cold front comes tonight. Itll be 29 deg in the morning. lol. oh boy. The vents are gone, and theres just holes in the ceilings where they were. Im sure what heat I can provide will go right up there. I have some propane heaters... so we shall see.

Ive been playing kc chess via a phone app, but today I received my new chess set. So Ill have to get used to seeing civil war pieces on the board. I wonder how many games Ill lose because of that? 

sometimes change is good, and sometimes it just seems good. Time seems to be the only thing that will determine whether it is or not. Im going to call this my garden for the next year at least. There will be no fall garden Im thinking, unless I decide to plant some onions. I still have failed in my pursuit of a green house...and am thinking I may just have to build one, as they have decided that green houses cost as much as gold houses... whod of thunk? Ill see what i can do... Weve done a lot this first year here, Im wondering what will change the 2nd year?  Im hoping for the best.

Thus far, after on week in office. the new liberal president has decided that there will not be male and female, nor will there be moms, dads, or mr, or miss, or mrs., and indeed some males that feel female or vice versa, can use whatever bathroom they think is good for them. The world is especially messed up just now. Im sure hopin God will take hold, or just come get me. And my loved ones.

well It rained a lot last night. Im about to go see the rain gauge. My old friend Allen got to come home today...so it was a good monday as far as mondays go. 

Thats all the updates I can share. maybe next time God will bless me with some wisdom that I can express in a way that might make someones day, IF someone actuall read this stuff. lol.

the year of changes.

 halloweenie! its that time of year again. but this is 2020, so of course this "trigger treat" season will be all messed up, just like the rest of the year has been. Its a big year.... a presidential election, another supreme court appointment, the pandemic, and it seems everything is a new way of life. But God, sunrises, sunsets, love, grandchildren, chocolate,... you know... all the important things... are still pretty much the same. Its important to note what is the same... since everything seems to be changing this year. We seem to actually be having a fall season... until yesterday that is, when the little ice storm hit. I call it little because it didnt really  make it to me. I was only without power 2 hours. its not a real ice storm until I have no power for at least 24 hours. 

I try not to get caught up in the earthly problems that I have no control over. I know they are happening... but I enjoy my world where I create my own problems. lol. I have a natural talent in this area. 

now for the things I learned lately.. when the power blinks, the coffeemaker defaults to 12 am. so if you make coffee to brew automatically the next morning... it will brew at midnight. so theres that. I learned that I can still piss someone off and not have a clue that I did it...Its my sensitive nature you know... I learned that stepping on the running board after  a freeze will cause you to do an "ice dance" , and that Muskcovie ducks are actually pigs with feathers. I may of mentioned this earlier.. but they are. just saying.  Im sure I learned alot more stuff.... I just cant think of it now.

I wish I had some deep thought provoking things to say, but my mind is focused on how cold my legs can get, and why isnt there more coffee... no matter what  I tell it. Its like theres a little man.. no... alittle woman! inside my brain that is actually making things happen... and its supposed to do what I say, but its taken over! I can just see her.... pulling levers... making me burp...and making me think that I may have metal knees because thats the part of my legs that seem to be coldest. I do NOT have metal knees! I have the same old tired ones....thus far. At least he/she isnt pushing the sore hip button...today. 

I should check on jenner in a bit... she actually came again... to oklahoma to look for a place to live. Im happy to be able to help...maybe the karma chart will tilt my direction when I do the "piss someone off unknowingly" trick...

life is sure different. thats ok. I asked for different. I thought the same ol same ol was gonna kill me. Now i watch sick grandkids I didnt have a few years ago.... my life is totally changed....  from work, to love, to finances, to food, to ....to cold knees.  Now who gets cold knees??

and I get to watch new friendships born, and well... just see life change before my eyes... its really quite alot to take in.... I know it hasnt all happened in 2020, but it seems so.  

I have a new rooster... I am thinking of a name for him... I had Elvis, and Duke in the past... this guy is a mr fancy pants. what do you think of him?

Well i guess its time to end this blog. Someday Ill get my creative mojo back... but im not missing it really, as it only seems to kick in when Im  living in a crisis situation.... so for now its kinda froze up...with my knees I guess...Now Im gonna get my breakfast morning snack...my protein bar, and 2 oreo cookies with the chocolate filling. and water.  I hope if any ghost readers actually read this is having a good day, and have warm legs. and hands. and feet...and.... oh nm..

Happy Fall yall, and the devil machine.

 

Right when you think you have this "live in peace and bliss" down.... it comes a downpour.

Recently I had some family, that had an "emergency". Things beyond their control, and they lived with us for a week. The week is not over... it was during this time of my display of my uncanny ability to adapt and "play it by ear" that I discovered that parents create an atmosphere of ...well.. im not sure what to call it. But Its from the Devil. Im just saying.... Now those of you that know me well, apparently better than my wife does.... know that I value privacy, and peace. My wife would live on Walton Mountain, and entertain every person or animal that came up the road. But enough of our differences.... and more of this Devil machine! So, when creating this environment to help a baby sleep, they create what they call "quiet noise". I would attempt to type how funny this concept is to me....but it is not! This quiet noise consists of what sounds like a lost radio station, and the volume is wide open.... like static. It drives me completely insane. After hearing a baby cry and cry and.....well you get it..... you might think I was not a family man.... but then when finally that cute lil granddaughter goes to sleep...the white noise from hell begins. It may be worse than the ringing in my ears!  I wonder if anyone else agrees with me?  Im told its a "thing" now..... I always loved opening a window and hearing nothing but coyotes, a hoot owl and some cricket noises.. a frog maybe. I once shot a midnight mocking bird (on meth Im sure) in the tree, in mid song....and told any friends that might be listening...to shut up until daylight.! 

I finally (almost) finished the chicken run.... and the new chickens are settling in. and the ducks... oh the ducks.... you know the cute quack quacks that waddle so cute? Well dont get miscovie ducks. They dont quack, they dont waddle, and they love mud. They are like pigs with wings. Pigs DO fly.... they are miscovies.... They manage to get back inside the coup each night to pig out on the water and food. And I run them out daily. Now to finish one little strip of space to keep them out.... I sorely underestimated this project. It seems to be a thing....me underestimating my little jobs around here. Took me a week, a bottle of aleeve, and if Id had alcohol, i may of tried it. But its mostly done...now. Id click a pic, but I cant figure out how and when this page accesses google pics....as they all seem to be about a month old! 

Its fall now. I thought it would never come, and i figured it would last about 30 minutes... but its here now. I can tell because my eyes itch and water, and sometimes I think I might remove an eyeball just to relieve it. I pour all kinds of eyedrops in them.... and take my daily pill. Again, its good I dont have alcohol....I put a "pirate " skeleton on the flag pole and I think I know why all the pirates have one eye and wear an eye patch. They spent childhood in oklahoma, and clawed an eye out, and fled to the ocean where they turned pirate. If yall remember chuck.... my skeleton, hes busy making the country folk around here shake their heads and go " that boys crazy". (good thing he dont drink) someday a pic of Chuck doing pirate duty...

Well its time to plant wheat, and looks like it happens tomrrow. small farms like mine cant justify the money to buy a drill to plant the seed, so Im paying my neighbor farmer to do that for me. Then that tree thats waited so patiently for me.... will get cut up. and I need to stretch a bit more fence and finish the painting outside on the house. then I can step back and re evaluate.

Seems the time passes faster and faster.... each day zooms by so fast....Sometimes I need help or feel like I do...just to get up out of the floor....and I say hey...im not 60 yet!  But my hip doesnt say that....now another presidential election... and such unrest in almost everyone I know. Im sure glad my God is the creator of true peace.... All these things will pass, and someday I will too. I hope that before I did, my kids and grandkids will remember me as the pawpaw that loved them so much and have good memories of me. Not the ones of me hurting all the time, and becoming grumps...that sounds way too close to my dad. So for today I am grateful, because I dont know what will happen tomorrow. I especially am thankful for just a small handful of close friends, that i can talk to, vent to, laugh to, (ususally they are laughing at me),  and I just love em. What would I do with no one that understands me? Heck they even read this blog.

Let us hold close the things we love and value. Let us keep the boundries we need to keep those things safe. Let us show love and reflect Christ as much as we can, and then we can say yall stick it, Im eating chocolate. DONT interupt me.....

Until the next time....happy fall yall.

What I learned this week, and then some.

ok im back. I forgot to mention a few things from before. I knew Id forget ! I wanted to mention some "things I learned" this week. okok some of it was maybe a few weeks ago. I wonder if people would write about the things they learned each week, if maybe I be like.... smarter from reading what crap they screwed up?

So we had a cow rug. No matter how tempting it is, do NOT vacuum a cow rug. We now have a new rug. And of course my wife snuck (is snuck a word?) that aqua color that I hate into it.

Do NOT ..while welding a pipe fence, lean up against the metal barn adjoining it. It will light up  your world! No i didnt pee my pants. Yes a said a couple wordy dirds. I mentioned  previously alittle  about the fencing...and wearing the shorts vs favorite jeans while stretching fences.... but I forgot to mention this ingenious invention called a "wire unroller".  Well thats what I call it. It hitches to the back of your whatever you drive, and you put a whole roll of barbed wire on it...and you drive across the pasture...and it unrolls itself!! whoever invented that thing deserves chocolate chip cookies!!

When you are playing chalk draw on the porch with your 5 year old grandson, make sure you make it clear, to draw "the  mouth" on the porch...not on his mouth. But I admit it was very very entertaining. He thinks he is now an artist, and I even let him play with the barbie doll collection.  He did ask about the fence scars on my leg which were still bloody, and discovered that paw paw fights bears and chokes them down with his bare hands. He wanted to know where the hide was....I pointed to the cow rug. Yes he noted it was cow looking....but now knows that cow bears are around these here parts and are much more dangerous then like...a simple grizzly. Dang Im a good paw paw.

During all of these lessons I lost a chicken to coon. well here we call em coons. the correct term is Raccoon. Cute furry mask over the eyes type. But it sneaks up inside the coop, and slaughters poor innocent egg laying bertha. Bertha laid a big egg. So it really pissed me off, and I found the remains of Bertha and tracked where the coon gained entry to the coop.  yall didnt know I was a tracker. I learned that just before I killed my first cow-bear. So anyway, I have now coon proofed the coop, and I swear if another one gaines entry, Im gonna turn that place into fort knox for chickens. So i put out a trap and ...dont you hate being outsmarted by a coon? It stole the bait, by turning the trap over on its side and avoided springing the trap. so. I got a bigger heavier trap.  He simply stepped over the spring mechanism, and stole the bait. Hes eating well just stealing my bait. So.. I went back to the small trap, and zip tied that bit**h to a wood pallet! Then I tied the bait to the back of the trap! After a few attempts I caught him. From the size of that fat coon, he had been stealing bait all over the country. But that was his last one! I reset the trap, but didnt put any bait in it...and promptly caught another smaller coon. I told him how he was probably feeling pretty stupid by getting caught in a trap without bait...and after I disposed of him, reset it again. poof. caught yet another one....with NO bait... they mustve been brothers...and their parents were stupid ... now the trap remains set and even the cats wont go in it. someday Ill put some more bait in it. coons love twinkies. just sayin...

Now I know what your thinkin...if he learned all that recently, hes probably brilliant by now... like Dr so and so, and just wrote a book. Im listed in the whos who of redneck farmers handbook. I am. read it  youll see. Maybe I could print these blogs, and call it the Redneck Farmers Handbook? I think Im onto something....

ok thanks to jenner for reminding me that I failed to mention these above items... and if I learn anything today...like unloading new 1" tubing gets BLACK grease all over your new gloves, and remember to take them off before grabbing the steering wheel.... then I will includ them on the next edition of " what I learned this week".

Like a duck on a tractor...

 sometimes you just need a duck on a tractor kind of day. Im overdue to write here... and I cant find the pictures I want! So ducky here is cute and all that, but she made me make a 2nd trip in the rain to put her up at dusk. She for some reason gets bored and flys out of the coop to do silly stuff. Kinda like me I guess. Its a part of retirement. I think its required. I wonder if the duck is retired too? Im just glad I didnt leave the door open! 

You might note that this is not a chicken. I TOLD yall that they would turn into ducks if it rained toooooo much! Over night, it rained 7 inches here!!! So while I sip my coffee, and look out the window to see when its going to start again, im checking MY feet....

My fencing is almost done. When you think your done... your not done. Thats when the "what if I did this" thoughts enter in... and the results are I have a bit more fencing to do. yay.  Im not sure which aspect of it I enjoy the most... the barb wire stretching, or the cutting/welding part. hmm. its a toss up. I still after all these years am not sure whether I like doing it in jeans or shorts. While shorts are cooler, they are not as much protection, and I carry the scars. But when your in your favorite pair of work pants..( i get attached) they rip all to crap. You just cant throw away favorite pants. Then you have to sew them up....or rather pam does.... and that takes forever before she works down her list to me. so theres the delimma. 

So what do you do when you have an OH SHIT moment? besides the obvious... which may require changing those favorite pants? I try not to have those "moments"... but sometimes it just happens. Like a duck on a tractor. So I go the the tractor barn, and open it up.... and back the mule up to the welding wagon... no not a real mule.... a kawasaki mule. ok I spelled it wrong. who knows how to spell that the first time?? Anyway, there I am... hitching up the welder... when I notice a movement. Its a SHUNK.... and its walking unhurriedly down the edge of the barn. We look at each other.... and Im pretty sure my oh shit moment was bigger than his... So I had a choice... either way I was likely to come out of this smelling like him. lol I decided to just keep hitching up.... and finish what I was doing.... and luckily the little critter found his way out and left. Sometimes... you just gotta keep working your plan.... and if you come out on the bad end of it..... well... you just stink for awhile... It is just something you MUST do or you wont ever get to where you want to go. I was sure thinking i was going to have to live in the tiny house until the aroma wore off!

I know I was supposed to mention some other stuff, but I cant remember anything anymore. Like oh...im not strong as an ox anymore, and oh, I cant do that...I do remember...after Im half thru it.. other things I forget.... that I wear glasses, where my glasses are at?, that I cant eat ice cream before bed time...that am not as strong as I was in my 40s.. 

Well it took some doing, but I finally got that ol sprayer fixed up. new pump... cleaned out the tank...I was smart...i did not crawl inside the tank...I used a mop! and I cut the field down to 7 inches... I was about to spray when the rain started... and I need 8 hours after I spray before rain.. so... that makes this whole week a gamble... so my sprayer is sitting there hitched up to the tractor, with 300 gallons of fertilizer in it... waiting to go. My best plans are held hostage by the weather. I also learned that a JD tractor WILL keep going even when your brushhog gets stuck  on something. yep, itll drag it right off. And if the blades to said brushhog get in the dirt and lock up, it will twist the drive shaft right off of it. By the way, a drive shaft for a brush hog runs $240. And it takes about 2 to 3 hours. Thats 30 minutes to hook it up, and 1 1/2 hours to figure out that your blades are seized up underneath.

Recently I was reminded that God may not speak to me if I dont read my bible more! And I do need to read it more... but God speaks to me all the time.. well its more like He thumps me on the head...but He speaks in many ways. Like through a sunset, or a bright moonlit sky. Or a sight that takes your breath away. (skunk in a barn?) I wish I could upload the pics I want to.. to make my point... but IF you stop...just long enough...you will feel this little tapping... like  something's  here but you cant put your finger on it...That is God ...mostly saying "whoa... enjoy this moment"... and usually I do... and when I dont, I always wish I did. Like seeing, a baby calf, or a baby anything. Well my rambling session is about over I guess. Ill remember some things later and add it if I dont forget it! I think my old posts are more entertaining...maybe if I wrote more often Id remember how to write again. lol. Im surprised I can type! 

This is a reminder, that if all your seeing is gray clouds, your not looking with the right eyes. You may have to change your view...but God has something for you. Find it. Like a duck on a tractor.

experiment.

so.... using the NEW blog look here... and everything is different... but maybe I have the setting where the "invisible" people can comment now.... huh jenner? are you still invisible?

my silly chickens are doing stupid things... like NO eggs.... and doubling up in a box.... they've never done that before... but they've lost poor Duke... their rooster.... so maybe they are insecure chickens now.  anyway... this is just an experimental  post to see how this new look works...  yay me. 

sometimes you cant go forward and you cant go backward... your just stuck.  don't be stubborn, just go. Or get stuck like this..

the other day I went to count cows and I couldn't find any. I thought..hmmm… this could be aproblem.. but I found then on the far side of the property. they  never go there... so I wondered what was up? I counted 4 more than I was supposed to have... and discovered 3 young bulls and one new calf I didn't know I was going to have....  the  young bulls have returned.... but I need to do some fencing!  if I can figure out how to get the calf pic from phone to here...Ill be back in business again~!

hope to post more soon...

my long learning curve.

oh man. I stayed up too late. im sitting here trying to be conscious... sucking coffee.  Watching wife get ready for work...  it was a good weekend. I learned a few things... did you know an armadillo can jump 4 ft in the air and run your ass over AFTER being shot? yep. Remember that when you go outside in the dark at night, in boots and boxers . There were not one but TWO of them! Maybe I can have one flower left now...upright. Also... I decided to practice my welding skills abit… and learned you cannot lean up against the metal building, and weld on the pipe fence that adjoins it. I bout peed my pants. I only did that once. I sure wish my momma hadn't of taken me out of FFA when I was in highschool, or Id of known that! It seems my learning curve is long..and Im sure I saw no passing zones on it....so Ill get there when I get there..

Today, is a new day. cloudy. It rained good two days ago. Things are still kinda muddy. Gotta put on the mud boots to check the squash.  I heard 107 cough, and seemed to pant just alittle… Ill check her today in a minute. I cant lose another one ! Im on it!

Sometimes I think maybe my "common sense" is not good sense.... or maybe I just speak a foreign language ...and Im not understood... I try to evaluate my perceptions, to see if its just me, or maybe I think Im presenting myself well, but really im not. Ive decided I am, and the rest of the world is dogshit crazy. So  now that I worked that out...Im good.

The grass is transitioning.... from dead rye to burmuda...Im trying to see if its growing faster than the cows are eating it!  I got  nothing special today to say... just my usual wisdom. ha. so Ill sign off and give this some kind of title and post it.

a country gal made.

This woman.... so many things I could say here. lol. When I started dating her, she was quick to tell me she was not looking to get married again, and her very strong personality made it quite clear. But I just figured that maybe she didn't know just what she wanted, until God told her, and in time, maybe shed figure it out. She did. Now she was such a prissy girl.. lol. I told her Id make a country girl out of her...and when she snorted..... I knew I was right. This day she decided to hand feed some of her "girls", behind the protection of a fence. Wise choice.  I think she finally IS a country gal... Yes she will scalp me for sure if she finds this! But Im pretty dang safe I think...since all you invisible mystery fans will not be around to snitch me off. ha.

Life is good just now. I know itll change... but all in all, its good. I have reasonably good health, my family does too...I see grandkids.... I see so much. From beautiful skies, to baby calves, to my grandkids.... and so much in between. Im thankful. It wasn't that long ago, when this little farm, this little piece of heaven, was my jail. Alone, and very unhappy, I made some bad choices. But God protected me from myself, for the most part, and here I am.

I have such a different life now. Its hard to imagine that your life will be soooo different in the near future, that you would hardly recognize it!! You just couldn't see it. Like I told a very near and dear love in my life, "its like going around a corner....and being in a different world".  Life is like that. I know it may not be something you believe, but that doesn't change the facts. It just delays them. Maybe forever. So be careful what you choose to believe.... as that is all God requires.... to expect it.. when you ask for it. Yes you may have to get up off your duff and actually do something. Don't whine about it. Stop your pity party. You've rode that ol horse long enough haven't you? I know I like to ride mine plum to death! Its quite a realization when I finally see Ive been riding a dead horse, and not going anywhere now for how long?? So get up, and do what you need to get up and do. Life will just be this way until you die, then maybe Heaven will have a genie in abottle to get you what you want with no effort. lol. Surely theres someone that will read this and know Im talking to them.! Maybe more than one? lol. what am I thinking? you people are invisible!! what about you jenner?

Ive decided that the satisfaction is not just looking at what Ive done. Or a feeling. Theres so much more to living. Ive decided that the real fun ….is ...drumroll..... getting there. I know I know... your rolling your eyes at me. But each day I get up, and I have certain specific tasks I assigned myself. Kind of like a work order..And I enjoy actually doing the task. Sometimes its not very fun to do... but its fun getting it done. I try not to be so single minded (that's narrow minded for you slower folks) that I cant see or enjoy the doing of it... Anyone can sit back and see a job well done, and enjoy that. But the real key to life is enjoying every minute of it. Theres enough chaos in our world to focus on. I just choose not to.  The focus is the same as it ever was.....on all the good things. Sunsets, babies, a good burmuda lawn, lol., and the work it took to get it done. 

ok ive blobbled enough today. I was only going to write a short paragraph. I guess I should summarize by saying...Don't short yourself. Life can be VERY different, if youll just do what God wants you to do, and just do it. Then enjoy. If you find your not enjoying..... then theres something undone. You get to choose to live and die this way.... or "getter done". It all starts with prayer.

I saw my star last night. If you find the big dipper, and follow the handle to the end, and then just over, and a tad down, youll see a star that's brighter than the others around it. That's my star.  Look at it....and think of what Ive said. Think of what is around the corner. or could be. 

that's all I have today...don't step in any cow piles. It wont keep you from where your going, it just slows you down a bit.

goodbye to Bandit.

well it was a hard day today. My favorite calf, about 2 months old, caught pneumonia and died. I didn't even catch that he was sick! I check them daily, but when I realized he was sick, it was at night, and he was dead by the morning.  ugh. Not all days in the country are good days....sigh. Ill miss little "Bandit".

your momma cries for you. Im sorry I didn't do a better job. God put you in my hands, and I just failed. But I promise I will learn from it....and try not to let it repeat itself...

It was a hot day, but the humidity was only about 56%! So that was good. I think I have most everything watered, but I need to add 2 fruit trees to the watering system. I still have the north upper side of the house to put new siding on and repaint, but of course I want to wait unitl its so hot I stroke out on the ladder due to the heat. Its just my way. 

its past 10 pm..."do you know where your children are"? If you know that phrase your older than dirt... I was gonna say shit, but Im cleaning up my vocabulary. so your old. 

tonight I caught the son in law, sneaking up to give his calf a shot...so I said...lets give em all shots. lol. busted! we got 4 bull calves banded, and vaccinated, and one heifer calf vac'd. ok that's vaccinated, not vacuumed. That would be a visual...."umm.. hoover or eureka"?

ok Im tired and getting goofier by the second...so I will call it a day. Im on my 3rd grape water. man I cant get away from these flavored water thingys. If anyone told me Id EVER buy bottled water to drink, when I have a tap Id call him crazy. Not saying how much MORE flavored cost than just plain water....ugh. 

just a few more bull calves to catch up... and poof. Ill be done and waiting for them to make 500 lbs to take to market.... 

good night invisible people that don't read my stuff. 

typical morning in the country.

good morning ….like im actually saying that to somebody. lol. I woke up today with yet another heifer in my front yard. Im not sure Ive ever seen so many cows out galavantin around up and down the dirt road in front of my house. The neighbors say nope...not theirs... they've "fixed" all their fences, but that must be "ol kens"... or fill in the blank with some farmers....This one insists on visiting with another neighbors cows over his fence. Whats left of my garden has survived floods, high winds, and hail....more than once... but Im not sure it will survive a stampede from "unknown" cows. I tried to get her up in my pen, but she wasn't havin it..so….. I let the chickens out..and im watching out for the stray cur dog that murdered ol "Duke" the rooster... im sure all the girls miss him, but at least their backs will heal up some.

its trying to be summertime now....made 94 deg yesterday. Ive been workin on the yard, and have declared war on some kind of mutant alien grass that's takin over.... the roundup hit it pretty hard... Ill keep up the good work until its on the retreat or dead. I welded (if you can call it welding) on the stretchin posts. I waited long enough until I decided the son in law aint gonna show up and magically do it... note to self: do not use welding glasses. Theyre really cool, but they don't protect your face.. only your eyes... so if your welding more than 20 minutes....then just get a helmet. speaking of which, I just got a new fangled one... I look like an astronaut....I may not can weld well, but I look really cool trying. My first attempt on the first end of pipe, looked like a blind guy got drunk and decided to build a fence. I cut the pipe too short, and put the cut out piece back in the gap and welded up around it. lol. I better not do that again...

Im planning my day here....I cant stand sitting around and watching tv ….

don't make fun of my yard... im still in battle with much of it. I love that view though... If God will allow me, Ill live here many years in peace with NO one buying the property across from me! lol. Unless He gives ME money to own it.....

well... the words are not flowin like they used to... so I guess Ill stop wasting our time.. lol. like someone is with me... okok my time.... Im gonna finish the cup of coffee, and listen to rich play the songs on flashback Friday on the radio!  Yall be calm, and careful....and remember to read your bible. Brings a kind of peace....it goes well with coffee too. js.  later yall.

An Oklahoma Update!

Well its another nice day in Oklahoma. It might storm, or snow before it gets dark, but for now its a nice day. Alexa displays on the screen a sun shiny day , but says itll be cloudy with thunderstorms. Then if you ask her if it will rain, she says it might rain at 4 pm, 50% chance, with .24 of an inch. IDK, I think they may need to make a special Oklahoma Alexis. With a twang.
We had some tornaders over the past couple of days. I even went to the hidy hole, but only because the daughter and grandsons were driving up to get in. Couple of people were even killed in madill. I hope I didn't know them. I guess Gods screening me from anything too bad .

The calves are a hopping! I have 13 small calves! Now if only this cow market were a normal one, and the stupid virus would quit screwing up my plans to finally sell at a decent price!

Lucy finally had hers... I swear that girl gets bigger than a house before she finally pops. She will spend most of her adult life waddling I guess.

Heres Bandit... the calf with the virus mask build onto her face forever. The rain comes and goes, and the grass is outgrowing the 30 head of cattle I have on this place.I tried for the first time, grazon, weed control, and so far its working great. Ill reserve judgement until mid summer! I burned up a transmission on the old ford. I get razzed a lot because its a ford, and its kinda old. I tell my haters, that it broke down doing a job their truck couldn't do in the first place. ha. another bill to get this fixed. I have it towed off already, sitting at a mechanics shop. Someone told me hey just get a newer truck. Well... the cost of a transmission rebuilt is a whole lot cheaper than getting a "newer truck". soooo...

I sure miss driving that old truck. I got her "highlander" stuck in the mud. It SUCKS in the mud. That pavement princess gets stuck looking at mud. It took me 2 hours to get unstuck!! yes its covered in mud. Yes she noticed. Lets not go there.

Someone asked "hows the floor coming along"? ugh! Apparently the subfloor has to be dang near perfect before laying flooring works well. sigh. After many attempts and making a big mess, I decided to just hire a guy to do this. He appears on the 29th! yay. I hope he does well as my wife will crucify me to the pecan tree out back if he don't. I think I made this clear to him, you know... that even Christ was not crucified alone......implying HE might be nailed up there next to me too. soooo....

I wore my mask to home depot. The town has decided to pass an ordinance, that we must wear them now, so I asked for werewolf mask. I always wanted to be a werewolf in homedepot. Now tell me you don't want to wear something like that in home depot? be honest! I know you do! Im told that I cannot do that. You all know who told me. I mentioned her a paragraph above …..shes tough on me. Its almost like she does  not want me to be "me", whoever that is. I suppose it would be hard to breathe in it though, so maybe something else... idk, like... maybe a Jason Friday 13th mask? Ill leave the machete in the truck. 

Im back to painting the house, since I had to switch from the floor project. Yes the house is a work zone, no I do not have tv now for a week, yes I sit in the recliner, in the kitchen, where I cannot recline, and yes its a mess. Yes she noticed. I must say though to her credit, that she is taking it well. If we could have the grandkids over, we may just get the chalk out and draw on the floors.

So... painting.... no im not spraying... I use a roller and a brush, just like always. I see one piece of siding that I need to fix.... which Im sure will lead to a bigger job than I intend. soooo. Im most excited about a hammack I ordered....that Ill try to hang from the back porch. 

Well that's about all I have to say. I hope all yall (like ive got anyone that reads this!) to keep praying for our country, and me. lol. okok. Just pray.... we need to get through this little pandemic thing, and get our economy back on track. Oil is so cheap now.... well toilet paper is worth more than a barrel of oil....so you do the math.

until next time...

and no the sun is NOT "going down" on my old truck!

I have followers!! friends!!

OM MY GOSH!!! I have followers!!!! I cant believe it~!~~ After YEARS..... Im not longer invisible!!! SOME one has found the "follow" button!! and all my so called real life friends assured me there was NO button!! ha! take that!! okok to their credit, the FOLLOW button shows up on a desk top, but does not show up on your phone. 

Much to my surprise, when I JUST published the last blog, I saw SEVEN followers.... woo hoooo… and one "X" where there used to be a follower... maybe they died... or probably umm...doesn't affiliate with my political values... or..something. And there was one that even had a picture posted with her! Go cindy!! 

The others are sure I will stalk them. Ive give all that stalking stuff up.... Ive written it before...and ill write it again...just so  your all assured.... I only stalk on Thursdays nights. Please leave blinds cracked. After all if its cold to you outside, its cold to your stalker too. Some hot chocolate outside the window also be nice.

Followers!!!! Where SHALL this exciting new direction take us all????  This could be a whole new thing! Don't worry Ill forget I have any followers...in about 15 minutes, good thing I type fast.
okok thanks for finding the follow button on your desk top!!

ravings of a quarantined man

well not a lot has changed around the ol farm place during the quarantine ! I continue to try to get ahead of things here, so I can achieve the goals I always had, even before this virus thing. So I planted this garden...all the usual stuff... but beforehand, I had to prep the ground. Tilling, weedraking, , and putting manure in the soil.... me and lil chasen planted it... and he helped put some seed into the ground. Then it came a big rain.... like a flood... for about 4 days. All garden gone. poof. It was something.....the raised garden part is maybe ok...idk yet... But im like in rubber boots.... soo...

As the whole place was drying up, which took another 5 days of wind and warmer weather, I decided to do another job.. and set those pipe pieces I cut, and get them in the ground to stretch fence from. So I got the auger at last hooked up on the tractor. Now I don't remember that auger taking an hour and that much energy from me to hook up before. But by golly I got it on there. It drags a tad, but it works. I dug the holes and set those posts and bam. I stepped back to look at it, and it was so crooked and out of line I seriously thought maybe Id had a stroke in the process. Cuz there is no way a sober sane man could do something that out of line, and make it look so bad.  I just cried alittle… just a little, and re evaluated my physical health.... now doing really bad work is not a characteristic of the virus.... and I was not drunk although you couldn't tell it by job I just completed, so im thinking stroke. I mustve stroked out, and kept working.... seemed the only answer.... I swear it was so bad, I just went to the house.... and the next day, when I was sure my eyes were the same size, and I could wipe my butt with either and and not trip walking down the hall, (which Im sure ARE signs of stroke) then I went back outside and pulled up the pipe. ugh. Now I figure when I find my string, Ill stretch some string, and dig those holes perfect (like I ever did a perfect thing in my life) and reset the posts.

so ...yesterday... it was dry enough. I retilled and the wife helped me plant.. I used string then too. ha. semi straight rows... cept the green beans... I kinda didn't have any, so I have a blank row to plant asap! RIght now they are invisible beans. Sorta like magic beans... OMG... that Jack kid that planted magic beans...they were beans too!!  But this is like... my real life...not some silly story your reading about on a..... say.... blog. or book. Ill get to the bean store and get some and make that right soon!

so today...one day after the replanting... its pouring down rain. If it doesn't let up soon, Ill be planting yet a 3 rd garden.... So that's why im sitting here typing... its raining, im quarantined, and Im tired of watching vampire diaries. I never knew that if you saw just one vampire, that there would be so many show up soon thereafter!! and the werewolves...oh my... lions tigers and bears... no wait. never mind.

so..I did dishes, I took my medicine, I let the dogs out, and its 3 pm. I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow.

so...I need to break out my bible, and see If God maybes gonna come before ...idk...we all die from some mysterious disease. Then, maybe the wife will find an excuse to come home, and I can get on her last nerve before she goes to work again tomorrow. And this is Monday.....ugh. 

I think I still have grand children... but I cant see them up close.... I think Im starting to hallucinate, as I am sure I saw a road grader on MY road....and I know that cant be true. I haven't seen one on my road since about 2006. And of course any good he did was lost, as it is RAINING yet once again. Im not complaining... I lived thru the drought a few years ago.... Let it rain. I have 4wd.! and the auger probably digs easier in the mud.  The calves had just now re evolooted back to like regular cows, now that the rain returned,  Im sure they have the quack feet back now. They don't know whether to swim and look for fish, or try to stumble waddle to a wet hay pile.

Quarantine.... almost sounds like a womans name. I think Ill write a C&W song about her....Ill get Glen Campble to sing it to the tune of "Galveston". well...cept hes dead.  okok Kenny Rogers to the tune of....wait. nevermind.

Im about to expel all of my wisdom for this time period...unless I get Moe bored …. so this must end! On a more serious note, I hope and pray for my country, my family, and my friends... as the people without a shred of common sense are as we speak/type, IN Walmart buying God knows what...and shaking each others hands, and going about their day to day business. If I go crazy and they don't die, Im gonna be mad. wait... ugh. nevermind again.

Quarantine ohhhhh quarantine.....

troubling times.

well its pandemic virus time in America. these are historical times. Theres a lot of fear, and uncertainty going on in the country just now.  Funny how the first thing people did was stampede the stores and hoard all the toilet paper. lol. that's right....tp. Then finally, they decided to get food, and bottled water. I still cant figure why drinking water from a bottle is acceptable. I mean... a bottle you pay money for!  And then theres the baby formula hoarders. the ones that buy up the formula, but they don't even have babies! What are they thinking? maybe they suddenly think they want to drink a bottle? Maybe they think if worse comes to worse, hunkered down here in this underground bunker, being real quiet, that they can just drink some baby formula, and everything will be alright. idk?

So I planted a garden. I have 3 raised garden beds, and then I tilled a spot for squash, etc. It took some doing, as it was a solo project. I finally got it all planted. Then the March Rain opened the flood gates, and now I am sure it is washed away. Im hoping the mud will soon be replaced by good soil again, and I can till and replant soon. We had some 80 degree days, but as usual, the Oklahoma hell freak weather devil, just teased with it, and now its COLD and wet and GRAY again!! ugh..

the world sure has become an uncertain place. I wonder what happened to days when the biggest concern was what was on tv? No real worries... except the ones we created. Maybe someday, that time will return.....ya think?

So the yard, the pasture, the whole county, is under water yet once again. I saw a calf of mine that had duck feet. It was  having a problem getting milk from momma, and walking on dry land. But it pedals pretty good. the mom moo moos, but the calf, mow quacks. The chickens....they are quite adaptive too.  They don't much like the water, but they've become barn roof chickens. Im thinkin of putting the feeder up there...but id have to climb a ladder every time  I fed em….if it keeps raining, there'll soon be fish in yard. They can fish for em. I hope the calves don't start eating fish!

Im getting hungry...so I ask on FB, is Polos open? I immediately get a pm chewing me out. Daughter says STAY HOME. lol. Im holed up here like a survivor….so Im hoping I do... it wo uld suck knowing I deprived myself of some good Mexican food and died anyway. lol. So the President was on tv.... saying were going to use a drug, but not sure if itll work. Then, some reporter starts in sensualizing the fear, and Trump nails him. lol. Said he should be ashamed of himself. lol.

anyway..... looks like Im having breakfast bisquits….
later folks.

later WW! time, winter, and common sense.

Im amazed at how fast time has flown by! I used to hear my ol grandma say this kind of thing. I remember thinking no way...an hour is an hour. time is time. But I swear she was right! Its already mid February! We did the new years thing, and the valentines thing... and the year is already passing so quickly! I went from a brown haired young stud, to a silver haired...old stud. Im really amazed at this time passing thing. My friends are starting to die.....and Im not even 60 yet. Im trying to use that number so I can get used to the sound of it. I told kt, Im going to start saying "sexy 60", She said, no. just don't dad. just ...no. lol.

Its another long wet gray winter, just like I predicted it would be. Im constantly reminded of all the things I have yet to do.... I did work on some pipe fencing... its something Im not very good at. I always think how Ill do it, and then when I actually start doing it, I think..."what was I thinking". a 2 hour task is all day. Just how old am I?? sigh.

Yesterday was nearly 70 deg, and 2 days from now they say maybe snow. My life is a lot like Oklahoma weather.... its here, its there, and when it happens , its doesn't hit as hard as its supposed to. And when it does, it takes 2 weeks to get over it.

the political campaigning is ramping up again.... Im again, amazed at the lack of judgement in some of these partys. ok the democratic party, although the republican party is far from perfect too. I wish someone would form a Common Sense Party. Id strive to be a member of that. I swear some of these guys would operate like a guy wearing flip flops in a cow lot. just makes no sense.

Im taking this moment to say goodbye to an old friend of mine. WW passed a couple days ago. we have a funeral on Saturday. I had a lot of fun with you WW! Ill see you again someday!

dinner, propane tanks and kittens

hello imaginary readers. its nice to check in again. The crockpot food attempt was successful. I have another one (diff recipie) on now ready to eat when my  bride gets home. I know her day is long sometimes. on the other hand, I worked at my own pace today. Im alittle disappointed that I didn't get as much done as I planned. It appears that im OLDER....than I am inside my head... you know … the place where I plan the day out...and decide that I can do that...or that...and this.... but ahem.

So I like saying that working at my own pace is a good idea. I still have the todo list to do. Its just getting done a tad bit slower than I planed inside my young brain.

today was paint the propane tank day. Kiltz can over any dang thing right? And I did...or will, when I apply the 142nd coat of it on there. That tank painting is harder than I thought it would be. you know that round thing... is hard on a roller, and my hands, and my back. I don't remember things being quite that painful a few years ago.

I also acquired a couple of new storm doors at the HD place...and I thought I was gonna cry before got to the patio with them. I hung a pair of doors almost like them all by myself...and it never occurred to me that I couldn't do it again. okok so it was 10 years ago...but hey they are doors. they are heavy doors. Doors that were not nearly as heavy 10 years ago. what is tarnation is a going on here??? geesh. I gottem there. But man. I even got one out of the box. maybe Ill sneak up on hanging one. or maybe even both. who knows. oh heck Ill probably call a door guy to do it for me but Im going to try one anyway.

I received 2 baby kittys due to my wonderful daughter kt today. They are bottle fed. I discovered that the nipples on these new bottles have NO holes in them. whod a thought? and everytime  I made a hole it would close up and nothing would get thru it. no problem though.... they will lap it up out of the little pan if you hold their little heads down in it. they cough alittle….but they drink it. so... I guess Im the animal whisperer. yeah that's it. drink it or drown. maybe they will live. Im really not sure. they are tiny. I figure they have a 50-50 shot at it. they also will shut up all that meowing if you put them in a box and cover them up with a towel. if they get out of that... a piece of plywood on top the box is perfect.  I think I have this system down.

well that's about all Ive got for now. tomorrow I will continue this new retired life...did I mention that? and see what projects I can actually get done now. Im still up in the air about the gardening boxes...…

Chef Sundance

ok... im sorry I didn't really have much time to type before. Im sure that no one is left that reads this stuff I write...but it kinda helps me keep some sanity ...whats left that is. I think I have updated this... but sometimes I have to update myself...so its as much for me as it is for yall…. all yall imaginary folk!

In a nut shell, Ive returned to the old farm house and country living. Elvis the rooster has long left the building...but guess what.... I have a new set of chickens, and a big old rooster named Duke. yep, big duke is a barred rock black and white checker kinda of guy, and his girls have just started laying ! I only eat eggs on weekends now, and having 11 hens will far exceed my egg menu for the weekends! Im thankful to God and to my bride that chose to follow me here. I know it was hard for her, and I spent a bout a year countrytizing her on weekends...til she decided she wanted to be a country girl too. She kills me every chance she gets for taking silly pics of her in shorts and boots...and all the clothes she used to make fun of country folk (me) for wearing....but shes learned you do what works for you.

 Shes a great help and even better a great cook.! that brings in my next thoughts.... I have to learn to cook some things... Ive recently retired again... and what shall I do now?? besides sit o nthis thing and type nonsense.... well I shall have dinner prepped. Now I had a great plan... I had 39 crockpot recipies sent to me... man ! and they have videos showing you what to do! So I went out today, and got all the ingredients! And I was just going to start this show up ...but I had to take the time to go ba\ck out to the truck to get the brisket out of the truck...because I forgot it all in the front seat. Hey the console hid it! so I here I was...about ready...when I pulled out my phone and the recipies are gone! and the video how to do it was too!! ugh!!!! So I came to the keyboard to vent abit… maybe some slight whining... how does that happen????? ugh.  

I thought I better add one picture at least of ME working, cuz everybody thinks she does all the work!but she doesn't do it all! I swear it! So anyway, now I have to try to find someone that will coach me through all this prep thing..... I think I sear this meat..... and then put into a crock pot... hmmmmm to bad NO ONE reads this...or I might could get some advice!!! I hate asking for help...I wanted to be so independent and do this on my own!!! wheres my video!! Im going to go look for this maybe they have a website! hmmmmmmmm

a new start and shed doors lock

Well im writing today because today is the first day of a new beginning for me. A new chapter so to speak. Its Monday, and Im not going off to work. Ive retired once more, and Im on a venture to do things at home to make life easier for pam.

Ive fixed a few things around here in the last few months since we moved in....now that Im back at the farm with my bride, I saw many things that needed to be redone. or just fixed. We have windows on order, and a roof coming.

The other day, alone at the farm, I decided to go to the shed and get the heavy pumpkin out and place it on th efront porch.... the cold front had come, and the wind was howling! I went out to the shed and saw 3 young boys riding a jack ass down the dirt road in front of my house. Im my mind I thought, those stupid kids... lol. at least they are having fun. Then the wind blew, and the door slammed shut leaving me inside the storage building in the dark. I then discovered that the new door latch I installed works really well when the wind blows the door shut. I could either tear the door up, and re fix it, or wait on pam. Well. I waited and the door finally opened with pam and katy filming me for a new FB video. ugh. They said I had it coming.... but I totally disagreed with that.

So I need to fix that door thing. I need to go attempt to fix this dinner.....wish me luck.

you know...sometimes I type, not knowing if I will publish it or not on this thing. Sometimes it just helps me to get my thoughts out. Im sitting here feeling pretty low. I start thinking about other people and when they felt this way. I think about Christ, in the garden.... he was pretty low. The son of God, struggling with His life...and what He had to go through. I guess its ok if I fret alittle over what Im in.

sigh. I wish I had the answers I seek. but even if I did, I might not like them, and I might just continue my course anyway.

maybe Ill just sit on this one....add to it later.

falling forwardly,
me

Well....its a new time. a new day so to speak. the pages have turned... and my life is a shade better. Im about to end another chapter of my life and begin a brand new one.... a new direction. Im excited...  as I read the above portion that I typed before,  I see I was pretty down. Life does this.... like waves. up and down. just gotta ride it out. enjoy the up times.... get thru the down ones.

Today I drove the mule while my grandson steered. I noticed the weeds ...so many....so ugly... then he laughed. I drove my wife and two dogs around later... and we enjoyed the sunset. How bad can life be for me? I get tired a lot.... much faster and easier than I used to. this really is frustrating to me... but I guess I can adjust.

I had breakfast this am. coffee. eggs and biscuts. I even had jelly. man it was good. how bad can life be? I tried mowing some weeds down...as they bothered me so much. I wish I treated for weeds...but its too late now. so I got the mower out and mowed some in the pasture. I noticed lots of burmuda under those weeds. looks pretty good. and it rained last night. and I slept thru it all....
how bad can life be?

I went over the bills...and talked to p about it.... we make plenty of money.... theres no use in working your life away at this age....if you make plenty of money. Its time to slow down and enjoy what you've always wanted to enjoy all of your life. Lets make life a Friday..... everyday. How bad can life be?

I pray God will allow me to live in good health....and enjoy this upcoming chapter.

how bad

can life be?

life and time....

Life.... and the passage of it. Seems like Im th inking more and more about this kind of thing. Seems to me it has a few critical points:

How you see it. How you receive it. How much time you get in it, or have left in it.  I read somewhere, that David didn't see how big Goliath was, instead he saw how easily Goliath was to hit with his rock. So...Perspective is everything and change the way you live, and react...

which is the next point, how you receive it. In most things you can decide how your reacting to it. You can decide if your going to receive Gods blessings, or not. Choosing to receive them means  you must be completely surrendered to Him...(which affects your perspective).

By the time I figured this out, I was concerned about the 3 rd point.... my time in it, and time left. Ive watched people age, and Ive noticed how the animals age. Seems everything in the world ages. They say there are some turtles that are 150 years old, but they age too. I wonder what you do during 150 years? hmmmm. Ive noticed the little baby chicks are so small and cute. but they grow quickly!  They change....then they die. Seems kinda pointless. but that appears to be the long and short of it.

So… with the amount of time I project I have left on earth, I have decided Im not going to get all my projects done. lol. I hate exiting, leaving things undone. Heck Im not even wise enough to know who all I oughta apologize to, and who I have actually had a positive impact on. oh well. Move forward and call it good. Unless a big ol pile of wisdom hits me between the eyes or something.  I thought Id give God the opportunity to allow me to finish out with LOTS of money, so I bought a lottery ticket... now I know HE doesn't need me to buy one to bless me, but I thought hey... ill jiggle the door.... maybe itll open. I bought the big one...you know...the power ball thingy. $3. so I waited, and checked on it. and I won! yep. I won $4. oh yah. I forgot to cash that in.

So what do you do? I guess try to learn more...so I can help myself and others... its better than just sitting down and getting fat, and watching tv...expecting the govtmt to provide me with food on my table. I think Ill just buy my own food with my own pay check that I earn. Call me old fashioned.  Now id love to "draw a check", but I don't want to be disabled to do it. lol.

Anyway....I better go. I have lots to do today.

when the shoe drops

I thought about you. I thought about God. Ive thought about my dreams, and goals. Ive talked to you and God about them both. Sometimes I just wonder if laying down and just letting go of everything wouldn't be better. But then I think about quitting, and my children, and grandchildren.
sigh.

im tired. sometimes I guess life is just.....tiring. it seeps into your bones, into your mind, into your very spirit. not even the chocolate that Im not supposed to have helps.

So I pray. I blog. I listen to the thunder. Its soothing. the rain is more fierce than Id like it to be.... how about a nice soft drizzle. It always feels like some kind of unseen invisible fabric is about to rip apart when it rains like that.

im not sure where im standing at these days. I wish it was as easy as looking down to see where. Just when you think you know,  you find out that the sound you heard was you tripping over something and splatting on the ground. tomorrow is another 12 hour work day. all I can say is …. im tired. things are good, then you look up,.... and its like.....when the other shoe drops....and everything comes to a halt. And hearing whats being said to you, sounds like a foreign language. 

Lord help me to know where Im at, where Im going, and where you want me to be.  

im back !! with internet!!!

well it has been a long road. things have changed so much in the last 10 years. I didn't know I would age so much during that time. lol. I guess I thought I would stay young even pushing 60.  So many things now I cannot do, or have to do differently. I just finished roofing the shed, and wished Id don't it differently now. But its done. I hope it doesn't leak. I don't remember bundles of shingles weighing that much! Im finally back home on the farm after getting married and being away for 5 long years. All I wanted was to share this place with someone special. And it finally happened. SHE came with me. I really doubted if she would, but she did! wow. Im still amazed.

and im amazed this site can now see all the pics my phone takes!! I better be careful there! lol. I have missed this peaceful setting. Note the yard is in terrible shape.  its been such a rainy wet underwater type of year. 

Im setting here in my OFFICE, with a desk and my computer!! woo hoooo!!! and I intend on updating everything since I have internet here at the farm now!! about time AT&T!! Its been a long time coming home. A lot of things I used to do without thinking now requires some planning. I have to remember how to hook up a trailer. lol. how to do certain things with the tractor. ITs coming back to me, but I have to think about it.

as one grows older, and is constantly reminded of aging and amazed at the changes in life that happen due to it, its nice to have help. something I would have never never accepted 10 years ago. Maybe my pride has taken a back door to my ummm muscles. 

I thank God for the peace I can now sometimes find in this place. For returning me back home with a bride that is sharing it with me. I pray now that she loves it here as much as I do. I hope that He will give me many good years of good health, and TIME to do the things I want to do so bad. now that I have my computer going again, and an OFFICE...with a desk...lol.. and internet here.... I plan to blog abit more.. share my thoughts some.. Im sure no body reads this mess as I don't advertise it much, or at all, lol. but It does help me to get my thoughts out, and maybe organize my goals a tad. 

I still wonder about that tumbleweed.... maybe she  will read me now and then. I hope if anyone does read this, they would make a comment so Ill know someone out there is …...well....there. lol.

Im sneaking up on learning to band calves, and I have a calf gate Ive never used  yet. soooo... that might turn out to be blog worthy. lol. Ill let you know....until then.... 

Later silly world.

weeds are like people.

Finally got back to this page. Took me a minute. lol. Well its 2018, and so many things are goin on. The kids are moving into a new home on my property. They now have 5 acres, and a new home. That son in law may be a quiet moody one, but he aint lazy. He works like a ...well...nevermind… but hes already got the water dug and put in. That daughter and grandson just make my day, everytime they smile !

So theres a new little black kitty at the farm... so far hes smart enough not to get squished by a truck, mule or tractor. I had my doubts, but hes faster than his scrawny body looks.

Today I spent many hours on a tractor brush hoggin… while I was on it, I was thinking, how many times have I done this...and saw the rabbits scurrying, and the red hawks swooping...lol... poor bunnies. Run rabbit run!! I was also thinking maybe im getting older, because it was hard to stay on the tractor that long. It was hot, and my allergies were killing me, and something stung me on the cheek. Well im calling it a sting.... maybe it bit. Does it matter what end of its little bug/bee body was used?  I started seeing myself in a cab tractor...with AC...and tinted windows.... oh yeah. and a radio. woo hoooo… Then I woke up and got back on the grass line....

Theres a lot of good grass under all those weeds. I just need to provide an environment where itll grow, and the weeds wont. But its there. Kinda like people. Too many weeds, not enough good grass. Theres pretty weeds with pretty blooms, and solid good grass with no blooms... but ones a weed, and one is good grass. Makes ya think. I need more time on the porch so I can finish these kinds of thoughts. lol.

So far this weekend, Ive felt joy, saw smiles, had good surprises, saw pretty sky lines, and I have good hopeful expectations....of rain, thunder, baby calves, and I cant say what else... lol. ...But its good. So  many bills, and so few checks....man...if only I could be in charge of how many checks and bills I get....(don't say it)

Plan your work, and work your plan.

this is what Im talking about...Life is pretty...if your looking for pretty...and expecting pretty...Isnt that a scripture? My prayer is that God will send peace...a special peace.....and a buyer for this home, so we can move back to our country home. No room for chaos, or ...well...chaos. just no room. 

I try to avoid misunderstandings... not sweat the small stuff, and always make time for a sunset. How many more of those do I have left?

Wonder whatever happened to that tumbleweed? You still out there tumbleweed?

So… steer straight, and getter done. 

2017.... like a bitin pig.

Well its the end of another year. pam and I were talking about the things that happened this year. It was a tough year. I remember saying the same thing last year. and the year before. I wonder if other people say the that too? I'm about ready for a really HUGE GREAT year! lol. Hello world?? are yall out there?? Do yall say that?? is every year seem a tad tougher?  I ll win the lottery and and have an easy easy year. ummm I better buy a ticket I guess. that's what its called right? a ticket?

Anyway, just a few things in passing, that tiny little incident in May, wherein they say I had a heart attack. Got to fly on a helicopter. Yep. A $46,000.00 helicopter ride. It was a tad cramped in there... as I was laying down on this little board, obviously made for a skinny little man. Probably back when men were skinny, say , in the 1920s or something. The barf bag came in handy too. And the service was a tad unfriendly. they didn't offer me anything , cept morphine. Thus the bag.
And then that brother of mine, decided to up and die on me. He wasn't much for phone calls and such anyway... but Id of liked to seen him a few more times anyway. He was always funny. So much for the smoking. Then Pams uncle, whos church I attended as a teenager...died.  There were some other things too. We did a few things to the house here, and to the "tiny house".

I think as you go onward, because you dang sure cant go backwards, and theres no since in living there.... you have to remember the other things. The ones that give you hope. bring you smiles. Even a sad smile is better then none. I think so anyway. and laughter...? who does that anymore? well I guess I'm doing it more then I used to. that woman I live with seems to laugh so easily. Maybe there are still some things I can learn from her. Imagine that. Things I can learn. If I'm not too hard headed. I seem to be my own worse enemy. that word correction thingy would say enema. but I learned about that...the hard way. ha. Remembering special things... I define special things as things you feel more then see, as things that make you connect...they have no value to a lost world. Just to me. Sunsets rate highly on my list of those things. Seeing a dog doing something silly, watching Chasen grin. simple things. Not watching the world go by, but seeing it... seeing it like I was meant to see it.  I hope I can see that more and more. Thing important things... like red birds, smiles, baby laughter, chocolate, the sparkle in ones eyes, and of course sunsets.... those are only a few things. I wonder what other people see or if anyone even knows what the crap I'm talking about?

So... with no guarantees of tomorrow... just one single promise, that when I die Ill live in a special place prepared just for me. That there is a life...a forever one... after this one. Maybe theres a lot of redbirds and sunsets there. .. and they wanted me to learn to see them. maybe. .. I guess that's enough. .. so ill just face 2017 the way I have faced each year all my life. Like a bitin pig. Charge in there... give it hell. Lets not live in fear. Its not my way. Lets charge it.... But help me God. If it turns out to be a year of complete blessings.... Ill be good. If its one like I just went through....well...Ill be good.

whats comin next??

 

I was walking by and saw this rooster on top the dog pen. Now the dog and the rooster are good buddies. Sometimes they even sleep together. I know right... but they do. I can never hate the sound of a rooster crowing. Sounds like music to my ears. Unless he stands by the back door and screams his head off.  I was thinkin..."what in the world are you doing up there"? Then I wondered what I might see if I was a rooster on a dog pen. I guess Id see things a tad differently. Like.... hey you have a bald spot on your head....or....whew...that breeze went right up my feathers...

I ve been working on the "tiny house" for way to long now. almost a year. I sorely underestimated that project! the wife started calling my small living quarters I'm building in the new shop, the "tiny house". It has a small bathroom, and its 7ft x 25 ft. I learned a lot about what NOT to do when building something like this. you know...little things... like putting the rafters dead center. seems those few inches are really important. My life is like that I guess. ugh. The things I didn't think so much of sometimes turns out to be very important. geesh. Somebody (up there) that's in charge, needs to cut me some slack! (lightning bolt!!).  I suppose its what your thinking, and how you think it when you. Like the rooster....(bald head thoughts or breezy feather thoughts) does.

Someday Ill have this silly thing done... and then I can move on to the next project. yeah. I am still trying to get on here more often, but regular life and work keeps me so busy I can hardly do it anymore. But I'm learning to grab photos from google and my phone backs its pics in google. so .  I'm kinda boring tonight..so not a lot to say. I went to work today, but only made a couple hours then my stomach started cramping. crap.. it hurt all  day long. I came home did the runny run runs a bit, and then crashed on the bed all day.  I ate crackers all day. ugh. no wait, I had a can of chicken n noodles when my lovely bride came home for lunch. bless her little heart. I'm glad I now have a help mate that will do that for me. I used to just lay in the floor at home.... no one knew the difference.  This marriage thing has been challenging to say the least... oh hell, its been freakin hard.  The first two years I nearly killed us both daily. Now its once a month, and I learned to roll with her punches.  There was a lot of "growth", which is code for yelling kickin and screamin. But its settling down now. Itll be 3 years now come jan 1.  Things have changed ....I had a grandson, a heart attack, and who knows what else ... I guess God knows whats comin next.