Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Battle of the Frankenstein bees: Revenge of the Monster bees.

once upon a time there was a man who decided to move 2 hives....of Frankenstein bees. These bees were undoubtedly created when lightning struck some bees in hell, and they came to life in our world, with some demented voice yelling "theyre alive...theyre alive!"

well the man had a plan...he would suit up and sneak up on the hives and close the entrances, trapping the demonic insects inside, and then strap the tops down thus securing the hives on the stand they were on. Then he would move them with the tractors front end loader and drive them to the new location. He would then remove the barriers in the entrances and place a barrier like leaves in the entrance so the bees would pause upon exiting to get their bearings. good plan.

So.. he sneaks. he forgot the to plug up the entrances. outpouring of monster bees. calmly he maintains his pose and straps the belts across each top, only after having to rethread the straps cuz he pulled them apart accidently. finally. secured. bees are tapping his suit all over like a machine gun.  yes a machine gun. did I mention Frankenstein bees? but much faster. If Frankenstein had wings Hed be very very fast. oh, and a stinger. crap. a stinger. just imagine. ok your getting there...

Its about this time that one of the little monster bees gets inside his veil and starts crawling across his face while buzzing and taunting his victim. The bee knows hes got him now... somehow , he achived the impossible! He crawled thru a bee proff veil.  Its about this time the man begins to run very fast... while trying to mash the bee in his gloved hand thru the mesh in the veil before he gets an eye permantly put out by young Frankenstein. As he does this he runs about 3 times around the house of the homeowner while they watch in horror and semi entertainment at the big picture window of the house. They may have a camera.  Then as he knocks his glasses off , and his cap , he keeps running as they bounce around inside the veil. zing! stung on the nose. The cows come running up, because they just know the howling noise this bee keeper is making means they are going to be fed. Finally he stops running. He cannot wipe his nose. or his tears. He may of peed. just saying.  Hes bent over sucking air, but is afraid to open his mouth. He may pass out. He could die. hundreds of other bees have followed him, and still pummel his "bee proof" suit.

The brave knight bee fighter returns to the hives. His noise stings. His ear stings. He is not sure what else stings. He thinks he avoided peeing his suit. He is not sure. But he wavers not. He gets on the tractor. He is saving the world dang it. He is making the plants all good. Probably saving thousands of lives by saving these poor bees that are so helpless. the tractor idea works. He moves them. millions of bees move with him.

Afterward, he retreats to the shop building, and waits til dark as the minion bees await to kill him but cannot survive the cooler darknees. Later in safety, he doctors himself.

I better get some honey out of this deal! and no....NO pictures. and there better not be a video of this anywhere!

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