what imprint will your shadow leave, when your gone?

its the new year. i guess it will come with all the things the last new year came with. the promise and hope of new love, of new adventure, of ... well I dont know. of something good  I hope. and maybe some of the bad too. Ive watched the comments on FB... and ive seen the bdays come and go... but at the end of the day... there is just me and God, and the little things that never go away. those little things that you never think about. like wind in your hair, sounds of locusts singing at night..a sunset. many little things like this. And sometimes, as I sit here... alone, day after day, night after night, I feel like im on an island... and I feel this thing inside of me.. and it makes me stop. just stop. and I fall to my knees and talk to my God. Its a strange but familiar kind of feeling. Its like when you see something...so awesome, that it takes your breath away. And you remember it forever. Its that kind of feeling. And you wonder why ... but Im glad.. that I do..remember that is... when that rock skipped 5 times o the water... when I saw hundreds, maybe thousands of fireflies on lit up on th eground at once... when I pulled that big ol baby calf, and things like that. These things bring peace and smiles. I love those things. Then there are other things.. that I choose not to spend as much time remembering. like goodbyes. each time ..i wondered if I would ever hear your voice again. like funerals... and endings. I hate all of those things. But maybe you cannot have new beginnings without endings. vicious isnt it? I wonder if happiness...true happiness can exist without any form of heartbreak?

My heart feels something... something that I cant put into words. My existance is something that I cannot explain... and I attempt at best to fullfill some kind of purpose that I am designed for. My time here on earth is marked. And I am not sure that it will be remembered but by a few, and for a limited time. So I will try to enjoy each heartbeat, and each breath. and all those little things I mentioned before. little blessings can add up i guess. So with this new year, i will not forget, the things i  have left behind. the people that have left me behind... those that are unworthy to share my thoughts, and also those that have touched my heart and changed my life. I will focus on hope. and maybe if God allows it, I will experience a life time type of love that I can share with another. I will hope for more little things. a sparkle in someones eyes, a giggle. a red bird. the sound big rain drops make when they hit the barn roof.. and that I will be able to notice them all. and maybe some little thing I can do or say, will make some kind of little difference. like the imprint of a shadow... once your gone. Will you make more of a difference then that? or will my life just pass like a shadow, with no real difference in this world?