life and time....

Life.... and the passage of it. Seems like Im th inking more and more about this kind of thing. Seems to me it has a few critical points:

How you see it. How you receive it. How much time you get in it, or have left in it.  I read somewhere, that David didn't see how big Goliath was, instead he saw how easily Goliath was to hit with his rock. So...Perspective is everything and change the way you live, and react...

which is the next point, how you receive it. In most things you can decide how your reacting to it. You can decide if your going to receive Gods blessings, or not. Choosing to receive them means  you must be completely surrendered to Him...(which affects your perspective).

By the time I figured this out, I was concerned about the 3 rd point.... my time in it, and time left. Ive watched people age, and Ive noticed how the animals age. Seems everything in the world ages. They say there are some turtles that are 150 years old, but they age too. I wonder what you do during 150 years? hmmmm. Ive noticed the little baby chicks are so small and cute. but they grow quickly!  They change....then they die. Seems kinda pointless. but that appears to be the long and short of it.

So… with the amount of time I project I have left on earth, I have decided Im not going to get all my projects done. lol. I hate exiting, leaving things undone. Heck Im not even wise enough to know who all I oughta apologize to, and who I have actually had a positive impact on. oh well. Move forward and call it good. Unless a big ol pile of wisdom hits me between the eyes or something.  I thought Id give God the opportunity to allow me to finish out with LOTS of money, so I bought a lottery ticket... now I know HE doesn't need me to buy one to bless me, but I thought hey... ill jiggle the door.... maybe itll open. I bought the big one...you know...the power ball thingy. $3. so I waited, and checked on it. and I won! yep. I won $4. oh yah. I forgot to cash that in.

So what do you do? I guess try to learn more...so I can help myself and others... its better than just sitting down and getting fat, and watching tv...expecting the govtmt to provide me with food on my table. I think Ill just buy my own food with my own pay check that I earn. Call me old fashioned.  Now id love to "draw a check", but I don't want to be disabled to do it. lol.

Anyway....I better go. I have lots to do today.

when the shoe drops

I thought about you. I thought about God. Ive thought about my dreams, and goals. Ive talked to you and God about them both. Sometimes I just wonder if laying down and just letting go of everything wouldn't be better. But then I think about quitting, and my children, and grandchildren.
sigh.

im tired. sometimes I guess life is just.....tiring. it seeps into your bones, into your mind, into your very spirit. not even the chocolate that Im not supposed to have helps.

So I pray. I blog. I listen to the thunder. Its soothing. the rain is more fierce than Id like it to be.... how about a nice soft drizzle. It always feels like some kind of unseen invisible fabric is about to rip apart when it rains like that.

im not sure where im standing at these days. I wish it was as easy as looking down to see where. Just when you think you know,  you find out that the sound you heard was you tripping over something and splatting on the ground. tomorrow is another 12 hour work day. all I can say is …. im tired. things are good, then you look up,.... and its like.....when the other shoe drops....and everything comes to a halt. And hearing whats being said to you, sounds like a foreign language. 

Lord help me to know where Im at, where Im going, and where you want me to be.  

im back !! with internet!!!

well it has been a long road. things have changed so much in the last 10 years. I didn't know I would age so much during that time. lol. I guess I thought I would stay young even pushing 60.  So many things now I cannot do, or have to do differently. I just finished roofing the shed, and wished Id don't it differently now. But its done. I hope it doesn't leak. I don't remember bundles of shingles weighing that much! Im finally back home on the farm after getting married and being away for 5 long years. All I wanted was to share this place with someone special. And it finally happened. SHE came with me. I really doubted if she would, but she did! wow. Im still amazed.

and im amazed this site can now see all the pics my phone takes!! I better be careful there! lol. I have missed this peaceful setting. Note the yard is in terrible shape.  its been such a rainy wet underwater type of year. 

Im setting here in my OFFICE, with a desk and my computer!! woo hoooo!!! and I intend on updating everything since I have internet here at the farm now!! about time AT&T!! Its been a long time coming home. A lot of things I used to do without thinking now requires some planning. I have to remember how to hook up a trailer. lol. how to do certain things with the tractor. ITs coming back to me, but I have to think about it.

as one grows older, and is constantly reminded of aging and amazed at the changes in life that happen due to it, its nice to have help. something I would have never never accepted 10 years ago. Maybe my pride has taken a back door to my ummm muscles. 

I thank God for the peace I can now sometimes find in this place. For returning me back home with a bride that is sharing it with me. I pray now that she loves it here as much as I do. I hope that He will give me many good years of good health, and TIME to do the things I want to do so bad. now that I have my computer going again, and an OFFICE...with a desk...lol.. and internet here.... I plan to blog abit more.. share my thoughts some.. Im sure no body reads this mess as I don't advertise it much, or at all, lol. but It does help me to get my thoughts out, and maybe organize my goals a tad. 

I still wonder about that tumbleweed.... maybe she  will read me now and then. I hope if anyone does read this, they would make a comment so Ill know someone out there is …...well....there. lol.

Im sneaking up on learning to band calves, and I have a calf gate Ive never used  yet. soooo... that might turn out to be blog worthy. lol. Ill let you know....until then.... 

Later silly world.