ok im back. I forgot to mention a few things from before. I knew Id forget ! I wanted to mention some "things I learned" this week. okok some of it was maybe a few weeks ago. I wonder if people would write about the things they learned each week, if maybe I be like.... smarter from reading what crap they screwed up?
So we had a cow rug. No matter how tempting it is, do NOT vacuum a cow rug. We now have a new rug. And of course my wife snuck (is snuck a word?) that aqua color that I hate into it.
Do NOT ..while welding a pipe fence, lean up against the metal barn adjoining it. It will light up your world! No i didnt pee my pants. Yes a said a couple wordy dirds. I mentioned previously alittle about the fencing...and wearing the shorts vs favorite jeans while stretching fences.... but I forgot to mention this ingenious invention called a "wire unroller". Well thats what I call it. It hitches to the back of your whatever you drive, and you put a whole roll of barbed wire on it...and you drive across the pasture...and it unrolls itself!! whoever invented that thing deserves chocolate chip cookies!!
When you are playing chalk draw on the porch with your 5 year old grandson, make sure you make it clear, to draw "the mouth" on the porch...not on his mouth. But I admit it was very very entertaining. He thinks he is now an artist, and I even let him play with the barbie doll collection. He did ask about the fence scars on my leg which were still bloody, and discovered that paw paw fights bears and chokes them down with his bare hands. He wanted to know where the hide was....I pointed to the cow rug. Yes he noted it was cow looking....but now knows that cow bears are around these here parts and are much more dangerous then like...a simple grizzly. Dang Im a good paw paw.
During all of these lessons I lost a chicken to coon. well here we call em coons. the correct term is Raccoon. Cute furry mask over the eyes type. But it sneaks up inside the coop, and slaughters poor innocent egg laying bertha. Bertha laid a big egg. So it really pissed me off, and I found the remains of Bertha and tracked where the coon gained entry to the coop. yall didnt know I was a tracker. I learned that just before I killed my first cow-bear. So anyway, I have now coon proofed the coop, and I swear if another one gaines entry, Im gonna turn that place into fort knox for chickens. So i put out a trap and ...dont you hate being outsmarted by a coon? It stole the bait, by turning the trap over on its side and avoided springing the trap. so. I got a bigger heavier trap. He simply stepped over the spring mechanism, and stole the bait. Hes eating well just stealing my bait. So.. I went back to the small trap, and zip tied that bit**h to a wood pallet! Then I tied the bait to the back of the trap! After a few attempts I caught him. From the size of that fat coon, he had been stealing bait all over the country. But that was his last one! I reset the trap, but didnt put any bait in it...and promptly caught another smaller coon. I told him how he was probably feeling pretty stupid by getting caught in a trap without bait...and after I disposed of him, reset it again. poof. caught yet another one....with NO bait... they mustve been brothers...and their parents were stupid ... now the trap remains set and even the cats wont go in it. someday Ill put some more bait in it. coons love twinkies. just sayin...
Now I know what your thinkin...if he learned all that recently, hes probably brilliant by now... like Dr so and so, and just wrote a book. Im listed in the whos who of redneck farmers handbook. I am. read it youll see. Maybe I could print these blogs, and call it the Redneck Farmers Handbook? I think Im onto something....
ok thanks to jenner for reminding me that I failed to mention these above items... and if I learn anything today...like unloading new 1" tubing gets BLACK grease all over your new gloves, and remember to take them off before grabbing the steering wheel.... then I will includ them on the next edition of " what I learned this week".
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