a crazy christmas w/i my mind.

Christmas. It means so much to so many. the nephew on Scrooge said..."there are things that have brought me happiness, without fattening my purse one bit... Christmas is one of these"... I swear. he said it. I heard him. no I dont know him.. it was on tv.

Cold, gray, snow, and did I say cold? But we decided sometime ago, we would celebrate it at this time just so we can put a lot of colored lights into the environment. Hey its cold, gray and snow. Now lets make em blink. no the colors ...they can blink. stop asking stupid questions. no? really? no ones asking questinos? dang it. too much caffiene again. okok.. so. Christmas. Its the end of the year... i have a tree leaning at 40 deg ( broke one of the plastic legs) "decorated" with stuff. I am too christmassy. Now shut up. Isnt it odd, how we do this thing.? Now I have an idea. lets go out and buy alot of stuff. the economy needs it. and lets wrap them in colored paper. and lets put them under (the high side) of the leaning tree.

We cant put baby jesus in the city lights... we might upset someone. ugh. So. Thank you Jesus for coming. being born. thank you even more for dying for me. and rising again made it all worth while. Although  you made me "unique"... (the 4 that follow these silly blogs call it funny, and yes you knwo who you are), I am proud to get the chance to try to live up the purposes you have set before me. oh, and can you tell that last crazy cow, to load up on the trailer w/o killing me or herself, so i can reunite her with her "friends". the happy ones.. in california. (she dont need to know its not calif)

In the mean time.. sometimes this gray cold snow stuff... is just ... well. gray and cold. ugh. I wonder what christmas on the beach is like? waves. sand. sun??? some pretty ladies walking in front of me.

After this week I will not think of work, reports, deadlines, bills, or worry about a tripping over a tree in the dark. I have faith. it will not fall. sigh. I will focus on the smiles of the people I love. and chocolate pie. oh..and someones birthday cake. on.. music, and making good memories.

and growing old. oh thank God I get to grow old. today I looked all over the truck for my bluetooth ear piece. I checked my phone and it was connected. I was within 30 ft of it! but I just couldnt find it. in wallyworld I knew... when I checked it again... and it was connected..that i still had it. ON me. i searched myself in walmart. I found it in my stpuid shirtpocket. oh yes. I love growing old as a semi hi techy person. people thought I forgot to take my meds. hmmm. that might account for the voice asking questions.....

Merry Christmas to all. Try to remain sane until next year. oh the miracle of Christmas! now where are those meds. They are not.. i looked there.

Christmas stuff

I hear sleigh bells ringing..or are they only in my head. I feel the crisp wind of weather changing. I see you, and you and you... in red santa hats, and i see peppermint sticks, with lights blinking on and off. I hear music that brings more memories...I sit alone in  a house, the tv muted... and all these things I see and hear are in my head. I see baby Jesus in a manger. I feel the old joy of Christmas past, and remember with a sad smile. how can a smile be sad? and why does one feel sad when they smile? doesnt really go well together. but there it is. I remember waves crashing in on a sandy beach. I remember silver trees with colored lights reflecting. I remember breadsacks on my feet, because I had no boots when I played in the snow. I see Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye singing White Christmas, and Elvis with Silent night. It is indeed a silent night. When the tv is muted i can hear the grandfather clock ticking, the wind blowing, and these keys typing. I can hear the wheels of time creeping on... and on. Christmas past, it comes once a year. One more birthday. I never thought Id live to be this old. ha. bet i surprised a few. I see old smiles, and new smiles. I remember ... for a guy that cant remember what day it is, I remember so so much. Old laughter...new laughter. Old love...new love... I guess that is how it is supposed to be. I say let the past be ...it will come and go enoughas it is. Those that have left my course are not better off w/o me....but they will just have to struggle on with others. Poor bastards.  Those that are with me now.... enjoy today.
I hold no grudges, but I have anger. I wish no ill will, but Id like to stomp a few toes. Soon it will be a new year. okok im going to bed.

bored out of my mind.

hello December. its very cold at 28 deg. im sitting here in the recliner thinkng how cold my toes are. i have house shoes on... but im too lazy to light the wood stove. thats the thing that warms my toes. I just recline and swivel around to the stove, and my feet are inches from it. very nice. but Ill just leave the infra red heat on... across the room... its not as good. I havent showered, or shaved... and I dont feel like that either. I have tried magic. hey who knows, maybe Im magical. I told the stove to light. it didnt. i waved some theatrical gestures at it. nothing. ugh. Im normal mortal. well maybe abbynormal...well maybe semi abby normal... ok not normal.. but just not magical. I would ve looked so cool in a cape too. I coulda ...oh hell. nevermind.

I wonder if Im the only one that puts off a shower just because I dont wanna be cold. maybe I should consider a small heater back there. hmmm. the g/f is out of town now for so long. im bored to death. I decided not to go dancing last night...i justplayed video games . Im so intriguing...so adventurous. thats me.

well the christmas tree is up. its leaning about 40 deg. i kinda broke one leg that supports it. i think its the last year for this ol tree. it was a good tree. out with the old , in with th enew. it would be nice if I werent so sentimental. I think I need to fire up the ps3 again, and kill something. i need to step on the death machine (eliptical) and work on losing about 15 lbs.  ill start ..tomrrow. today something must die. yeah.

I could paint the office room. I could. uh huh. .

im an oklahoma redneck. now kiss my butt. *spit*

Today is a cold gray kind of december day. Alittle bit lonely. My g/f is..(yes I said girlfriend!) leaving tonight for new freaking york city...for 5 days. I bet she has so much fun she doesnt even remember this country boy. Time will tell I guess. I was in walmart today...with her, and she went thru the lingerie deptmt... I saw a sign hanging overhead that said "intitmate". I thought...hmmm. how romantic... so I made her slow dance with me under the intimate sign in walmart. now you know your redneck when you think dancin under "intimate" in the lingerie sectino of wally word is romantic. aint I special. hell yes. *spit*

Sometimes I get down, but then I hear that infectious giggle... and it just seems to lift my spirts somehow. I am not sure why I am on this kind of roller coaster, and I have not appreciated all the twists and turns it takes me on...but I must admit there have been some that I fully appreciated!  So I ll hold on, and wherever God takes me with it, Ill just go. Ill not hang my head and be a sad little man in a sad little house. Ill look up smile, and maybe even howl alittle... this is not my plan... but His has to be better then anythingI  could dream up.

I figured out how to make this "smart" phone be a fm radio..so im sitting here listening to c&w music. Ive slept single ina double bed, Ive walked in tall cotton, and Ive been boot scootin... and I never even left my fat ass recliner. and btw, this silly chair is leanin right. I wonder if this lazy boy it shaping my butt to the right or not? It better not be...cuz when I  two step (and Im getting way better at it) I do not wanna drift off to the right like im hving a stroke or soemthing. someone might call 911 or take me by the arm and try to tie me to the table so I dont wander off. Ill just start sitting here and lean to the left.....

I got the Christmas tree up...but this ol tree has seen its better days. I kinda broke the leg on it....and its leaning about 40 degrees. I m surprised its even standing up. I guess its fitting... the tree leans... my chair leans... hell...I probably lean too. I bet I have one leg shorter then other or soemthing.  or one butt check flatter then the other.  that cant be good.  I wouldnt even be able to create a good "seal" when I sat on the crapper. oh lets not go there...

no one said anything about lights on the house, so I m not saying anything either. I managed to get me a metal wood box on rollers made...now i can stack a ton of wood in it...(its 2ft x 3 ft) and roll it inside the back screened in porch. now i dont have wood ...and hopefullu scorpions in the house. I told that to the one I stomped in my bed room floor. turns out I can see them in this new carpet.

hey hey hey...wahts so wrong...with one more drinkin song...well thats on the radio. you dummy... youll ruin your life with that crap. be creative and write a song about something else. i know... how about slow dancing under the intimate lingerie song. yeah. do something with that cowboy. then  youll have a hit. dummy.

thats all I have to ramble about for now...ill end this listening to...how can I make you see.....it matters to me.....