thinking

Someday.. when you stand at the edge, and look,  you see the sight in front of you...and wonder what or if, or why, remember. Feel the crisp cutting edge of the wind as it whips under your collar, and blows your hair. Put your gloved hands in your coat pockets to get warmer. Look up. See the star I shared with you? the one I said was my star? Can you remember how to find it? It glows upon a background of dark blue hues and twinkles at you. Your days are numbered and you are much aware of it now. Do you remember now? It was your decision. All I did was love you. No matter what.


Now, as you face the uncertain future...isnt that the way futures are? You must face it without me. But it is ok to think... and remember. Remember what  you learned...and what you taught me. Embrace the memories. Do not resist the tear forming in your eye, or the smile ...faint as it is. Embrace, and remember.  Stand. It is hard, it is cold, it is lonely. But love endures. Do you remember now?  


Never again allow the past to determine your present, and future. Soak in this sight. Feel this moment. Allow this. Accept His blessing. He awaits you. Surrender. It is the only way.

cha cha cha changes....

You would think, by this time, and at this age, that nothing would surprise you. But thats just not how it is. I am still amazed and dumfounded at just how well I dont know someone! People are such interesting creatures, capable of such astounding feats, and behavior. There are atmospheres of spirit in which each one does the t hings that they do. A spirit of love, a spirit of hate, one of selfishness, etc. From these different perspective, come the fruit of their actions. I often question my own spirit... especially when I react strongly to any situation. I remember Christ reacted strongly in a few situations, so I guess if its the right time, its ok. I have had a good time in many ways..perspectives... the last few years. I have been blessed. 


I guess change is inevitable. I suppose if God wanted me to change a direction, and I was not open to it...He might cause something to happen to funnel me in that direction. If I am going to be hardheaded and closed to Gods direction, I hope I will survive the funneling process without too much pain. But you know.. getting squeezed into that little tube can be painful. think about it. 


Im sure glad He still gives me a quiet time. He simply wont allow me to sleep. presto. quiet time. I agree Lord to have a daily quiet time. Now would you give me a full nights sleep every night? Tonight..or rather this mornings quiet time on the back porch was nice. protected from bugs, and pesky cats, i listened to the night sounds. The locusts were loud, and an occasional coyote. the sounds of a kitty playing on the hammock. That was amusing. And my quiet talk with Him, surrendering all that is within me. One says they surrender... but do they really? Its not really about what I want anymore. It is about what He wants for me. I try to keep this in front and focused. An ice tea, a rocking chair, and a nice back porch. Thank you Lord.


Friday is here. Although there will be some unpleasantness today, I know that I will overcome as that is what I do. "For we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us". I think Im close to that scripture. Friday is nice. It always has been to me. I call it "date nite". 


The sun is coming....the sky has changed, even as I have typed this. The stars were beautiful, but now comes the  day. Change. I supposed it has to happen. Good... bad.... then good again... or maybe none of it is good or bad. Maybe it is all just a perspective. And we see it as good or bad. Maybe it is just... what it is. Change. I have asked God for some things...and was denied. It hurt. Sometimes it hurt alot. But later, I discovered, that the "change" was better for me...better than I could have known. I will remember this.