dinner, propane tanks and kittens

hello imaginary readers. its nice to check in again. The crockpot food attempt was successful. I have another one (diff recipie) on now ready to eat when my  bride gets home. I know her day is long sometimes. on the other hand, I worked at my own pace today. Im alittle disappointed that I didn't get as much done as I planned. It appears that im OLDER....than I am inside my head... you know … the place where I plan the day out...and decide that I can do that...or that...and this.... but ahem.

So I like saying that working at my own pace is a good idea. I still have the todo list to do. Its just getting done a tad bit slower than I planed inside my young brain.

today was paint the propane tank day. Kiltz can over any dang thing right? And I did...or will, when I apply the 142nd coat of it on there. That tank painting is harder than I thought it would be. you know that round thing... is hard on a roller, and my hands, and my back. I don't remember things being quite that painful a few years ago.

I also acquired a couple of new storm doors at the HD place...and I thought I was gonna cry before got to the patio with them. I hung a pair of doors almost like them all by myself...and it never occurred to me that I couldn't do it again. okok so it was 10 years ago...but hey they are doors. they are heavy doors. Doors that were not nearly as heavy 10 years ago. what is tarnation is a going on here??? geesh. I gottem there. But man. I even got one out of the box. maybe Ill sneak up on hanging one. or maybe even both. who knows. oh heck Ill probably call a door guy to do it for me but Im going to try one anyway.

I received 2 baby kittys due to my wonderful daughter kt today. They are bottle fed. I discovered that the nipples on these new bottles have NO holes in them. whod a thought? and everytime  I made a hole it would close up and nothing would get thru it. no problem though.... they will lap it up out of the little pan if you hold their little heads down in it. they cough alittle….but they drink it. so... I guess Im the animal whisperer. yeah that's it. drink it or drown. maybe they will live. Im really not sure. they are tiny. I figure they have a 50-50 shot at it. they also will shut up all that meowing if you put them in a box and cover them up with a towel. if they get out of that... a piece of plywood on top the box is perfect.  I think I have this system down.

well that's about all Ive got for now. tomorrow I will continue this new retired life...did I mention that? and see what projects I can actually get done now. Im still up in the air about the gardening boxes...…

Chef Sundance

ok... im sorry I didn't really have much time to type before. Im sure that no one is left that reads this stuff I write...but it kinda helps me keep some sanity ...whats left that is. I think I have updated this... but sometimes I have to update myself...so its as much for me as it is for yall…. all yall imaginary folk!

In a nut shell, Ive returned to the old farm house and country living. Elvis the rooster has long left the building...but guess what.... I have a new set of chickens, and a big old rooster named Duke. yep, big duke is a barred rock black and white checker kinda of guy, and his girls have just started laying ! I only eat eggs on weekends now, and having 11 hens will far exceed my egg menu for the weekends! Im thankful to God and to my bride that chose to follow me here. I know it was hard for her, and I spent a bout a year countrytizing her on weekends...til she decided she wanted to be a country girl too. She kills me every chance she gets for taking silly pics of her in shorts and boots...and all the clothes she used to make fun of country folk (me) for wearing....but shes learned you do what works for you.

 Shes a great help and even better a great cook.! that brings in my next thoughts.... I have to learn to cook some things... Ive recently retired again... and what shall I do now?? besides sit o nthis thing and type nonsense.... well I shall have dinner prepped. Now I had a great plan... I had 39 crockpot recipies sent to me... man ! and they have videos showing you what to do! So I went out today, and got all the ingredients! And I was just going to start this show up ...but I had to take the time to go ba\ck out to the truck to get the brisket out of the truck...because I forgot it all in the front seat. Hey the console hid it! so I here I was...about ready...when I pulled out my phone and the recipies are gone! and the video how to do it was too!! ugh!!!! So I came to the keyboard to vent abit… maybe some slight whining... how does that happen????? ugh.  

I thought I better add one picture at least of ME working, cuz everybody thinks she does all the work!but she doesn't do it all! I swear it! So anyway, now I have to try to find someone that will coach me through all this prep thing..... I think I sear this meat..... and then put into a crock pot... hmmmmm to bad NO ONE reads this...or I might could get some advice!!! I hate asking for help...I wanted to be so independent and do this on my own!!! wheres my video!! Im going to go look for this maybe they have a website! hmmmmmmmm

a new start and shed doors lock

Well im writing today because today is the first day of a new beginning for me. A new chapter so to speak. Its Monday, and Im not going off to work. Ive retired once more, and Im on a venture to do things at home to make life easier for pam.

Ive fixed a few things around here in the last few months since we moved in....now that Im back at the farm with my bride, I saw many things that needed to be redone. or just fixed. We have windows on order, and a roof coming.

The other day, alone at the farm, I decided to go to the shed and get the heavy pumpkin out and place it on th efront porch.... the cold front had come, and the wind was howling! I went out to the shed and saw 3 young boys riding a jack ass down the dirt road in front of my house. Im my mind I thought, those stupid kids... lol. at least they are having fun. Then the wind blew, and the door slammed shut leaving me inside the storage building in the dark. I then discovered that the new door latch I installed works really well when the wind blows the door shut. I could either tear the door up, and re fix it, or wait on pam. Well. I waited and the door finally opened with pam and katy filming me for a new FB video. ugh. They said I had it coming.... but I totally disagreed with that.

So I need to fix that door thing. I need to go attempt to fix this dinner.....wish me luck.

you know...sometimes I type, not knowing if I will publish it or not on this thing. Sometimes it just helps me to get my thoughts out. Im sitting here feeling pretty low. I start thinking about other people and when they felt this way. I think about Christ, in the garden.... he was pretty low. The son of God, struggling with His life...and what He had to go through. I guess its ok if I fret alittle over what Im in.

sigh. I wish I had the answers I seek. but even if I did, I might not like them, and I might just continue my course anyway.

maybe Ill just sit on this one....add to it later.

falling forwardly,
me

Well....its a new time. a new day so to speak. the pages have turned... and my life is a shade better. Im about to end another chapter of my life and begin a brand new one.... a new direction. Im excited...  as I read the above portion that I typed before,  I see I was pretty down. Life does this.... like waves. up and down. just gotta ride it out. enjoy the up times.... get thru the down ones.

Today I drove the mule while my grandson steered. I noticed the weeds ...so many....so ugly... then he laughed. I drove my wife and two dogs around later... and we enjoyed the sunset. How bad can life be for me? I get tired a lot.... much faster and easier than I used to. this really is frustrating to me... but I guess I can adjust.

I had breakfast this am. coffee. eggs and biscuts. I even had jelly. man it was good. how bad can life be? I tried mowing some weeds down...as they bothered me so much. I wish I treated for weeds...but its too late now. so I got the mower out and mowed some in the pasture. I noticed lots of burmuda under those weeds. looks pretty good. and it rained last night. and I slept thru it all....
how bad can life be?

I went over the bills...and talked to p about it.... we make plenty of money.... theres no use in working your life away at this age....if you make plenty of money. Its time to slow down and enjoy what you've always wanted to enjoy all of your life. Lets make life a Friday..... everyday. How bad can life be?

I pray God will allow me to live in good health....and enjoy this upcoming chapter.

how bad

can life be?

life and time....

Life.... and the passage of it. Seems like Im th inking more and more about this kind of thing. Seems to me it has a few critical points:

How you see it. How you receive it. How much time you get in it, or have left in it.  I read somewhere, that David didn't see how big Goliath was, instead he saw how easily Goliath was to hit with his rock. So...Perspective is everything and change the way you live, and react...

which is the next point, how you receive it. In most things you can decide how your reacting to it. You can decide if your going to receive Gods blessings, or not. Choosing to receive them means  you must be completely surrendered to Him...(which affects your perspective).

By the time I figured this out, I was concerned about the 3 rd point.... my time in it, and time left. Ive watched people age, and Ive noticed how the animals age. Seems everything in the world ages. They say there are some turtles that are 150 years old, but they age too. I wonder what you do during 150 years? hmmmm. Ive noticed the little baby chicks are so small and cute. but they grow quickly!  They change....then they die. Seems kinda pointless. but that appears to be the long and short of it.

So… with the amount of time I project I have left on earth, I have decided Im not going to get all my projects done. lol. I hate exiting, leaving things undone. Heck Im not even wise enough to know who all I oughta apologize to, and who I have actually had a positive impact on. oh well. Move forward and call it good. Unless a big ol pile of wisdom hits me between the eyes or something.  I thought Id give God the opportunity to allow me to finish out with LOTS of money, so I bought a lottery ticket... now I know HE doesn't need me to buy one to bless me, but I thought hey... ill jiggle the door.... maybe itll open. I bought the big one...you know...the power ball thingy. $3. so I waited, and checked on it. and I won! yep. I won $4. oh yah. I forgot to cash that in.

So what do you do? I guess try to learn more...so I can help myself and others... its better than just sitting down and getting fat, and watching tv...expecting the govtmt to provide me with food on my table. I think Ill just buy my own food with my own pay check that I earn. Call me old fashioned.  Now id love to "draw a check", but I don't want to be disabled to do it. lol.

Anyway....I better go. I have lots to do today.

when the shoe drops

I thought about you. I thought about God. Ive thought about my dreams, and goals. Ive talked to you and God about them both. Sometimes I just wonder if laying down and just letting go of everything wouldn't be better. But then I think about quitting, and my children, and grandchildren.
sigh.

im tired. sometimes I guess life is just.....tiring. it seeps into your bones, into your mind, into your very spirit. not even the chocolate that Im not supposed to have helps.

So I pray. I blog. I listen to the thunder. Its soothing. the rain is more fierce than Id like it to be.... how about a nice soft drizzle. It always feels like some kind of unseen invisible fabric is about to rip apart when it rains like that.

im not sure where im standing at these days. I wish it was as easy as looking down to see where. Just when you think you know,  you find out that the sound you heard was you tripping over something and splatting on the ground. tomorrow is another 12 hour work day. all I can say is …. im tired. things are good, then you look up,.... and its like.....when the other shoe drops....and everything comes to a halt. And hearing whats being said to you, sounds like a foreign language. 

Lord help me to know where Im at, where Im going, and where you want me to be.  

im back !! with internet!!!

well it has been a long road. things have changed so much in the last 10 years. I didn't know I would age so much during that time. lol. I guess I thought I would stay young even pushing 60.  So many things now I cannot do, or have to do differently. I just finished roofing the shed, and wished Id don't it differently now. But its done. I hope it doesn't leak. I don't remember bundles of shingles weighing that much! Im finally back home on the farm after getting married and being away for 5 long years. All I wanted was to share this place with someone special. And it finally happened. SHE came with me. I really doubted if she would, but she did! wow. Im still amazed.

and im amazed this site can now see all the pics my phone takes!! I better be careful there! lol. I have missed this peaceful setting. Note the yard is in terrible shape.  its been such a rainy wet underwater type of year. 

Im setting here in my OFFICE, with a desk and my computer!! woo hoooo!!! and I intend on updating everything since I have internet here at the farm now!! about time AT&T!! Its been a long time coming home. A lot of things I used to do without thinking now requires some planning. I have to remember how to hook up a trailer. lol. how to do certain things with the tractor. ITs coming back to me, but I have to think about it.

as one grows older, and is constantly reminded of aging and amazed at the changes in life that happen due to it, its nice to have help. something I would have never never accepted 10 years ago. Maybe my pride has taken a back door to my ummm muscles. 

I thank God for the peace I can now sometimes find in this place. For returning me back home with a bride that is sharing it with me. I pray now that she loves it here as much as I do. I hope that He will give me many good years of good health, and TIME to do the things I want to do so bad. now that I have my computer going again, and an OFFICE...with a desk...lol.. and internet here.... I plan to blog abit more.. share my thoughts some.. Im sure no body reads this mess as I don't advertise it much, or at all, lol. but It does help me to get my thoughts out, and maybe organize my goals a tad. 

I still wonder about that tumbleweed.... maybe she  will read me now and then. I hope if anyone does read this, they would make a comment so Ill know someone out there is …...well....there. lol.

Im sneaking up on learning to band calves, and I have a calf gate Ive never used  yet. soooo... that might turn out to be blog worthy. lol. Ill let you know....until then.... 

Later silly world.